Visiting the Orphanage – Nicolekiss Charity Sad Version

Short note: oh.. it’s midnight. Happy Birthday to me! Yay~!… zzz…


This is going to be a depressing entry. Because truth be told, it is when you view it from a very heartrending perspective.

There are many things out there we (most internet users) will not be able to understand, people who are born in a third world country and has never seen a cable in his life; people who are mentally or physically challenge and not given a chance to live a normal life the rest of us can; and people who are born so poor they are sold to foreigners for labour and slavery.

Life is never fair for these people. No matter how you want to put it.

disabled kids sitting


There are many less fortunate people around us everyday. Often, a lot of us turn a blind eye to their existence because it made our lives easier not to care, for some it’s just plain ignorance.

Despite many out there who is already helping and care enough to understand and offer help to these people, help… is never enough.

On my previous visit to the orphanage, I have grown a liking to most of the kids there. They warmed my heart like no other but at the same times, it breaks my heart too.

Following my charity proposal entry and preparation to visit the orphanage at Taman Megah.


I made my visit to the orphanage to celebrate Chinese New Year with the kids. This journey has made me understand a bit more about different disabled conditions of people and their inability to live life like the rest of us.

down syndrome kids


Mei mei, as previously introduced, is an 8 year old down syndrome who has captured my heart hands down with her innocence and friendliness.

Everytime mei mei cries due to many unknown reasons, 13 years old down syndrome Kawari (on the right) always has a way to make her happy. She’ll hug her and pamper her like a mother would to a baby, and she is only 13 years old.

disabled kids


Lim siew ping (left) – down syndrome.

As a down syndrome grows older, he/she might face side affects like losing hair, lung or heart problems, and sometimes, all at once. But it never stopped Kawari from loving Mei Mei.

Nicholas (right), from Sabah, is physically challenged, means he’s not able to move as actively as he wishes.


Some of the kids looks perfectly normal in some area but physically incapable in others.

crippled kid


Take Emalatha for example, an adorable 5 year old girl who is born spastic. She’s not able to actively operate her hands and legs, apart from that, she’s as normal as any other kid out there of equivalent learning ability.

crippled kid_b


However, she has to crawl for the rest of her life.

kid 3


Gagirl - aged 12. Condition - spina bifida. Unable to sit properly, Gagirl is a girl who constantly asks for hugs from visitors.

Sometimes some of these kids came from abusive family who ill treat them, that stories of their past will send chills down your spine.

kid 8


Ng bee yen, 21, girl, born blind, mute; has been used by her parents since young to beg on the street.

Because she is never trained to take solid food as the main purpose was to have her to appear as ill as possible, she is malnutrition since birth (hence her small disorientated figure). She can only consume milk for now.

Not all kids are disabled or handicapped though.

kid 4


Letchumi is a normal 5 year old girl that came from an abusive family. Her two elder sisters (who were also at the home) has been burned and beaten by her ‘father’ and even once set fire on their private parts. Luckily, she was spared before it got to her.

Every unfortunate soul out there, has a story.

adult 1
Yap kiang choon, aged 40+. Mind retarded.


It is up to you to understand and offer help, or turn away from them.

They might be handicap, unlucky, or unloved; yet same like us, they are human.

kid 5
Wong Wai Kit, Neuro Sibromati, right eye’s orientation due to swelling to the head, cannot speak, like to play with water


Born the same way as we did to this world.

kid 6
Mathi, aged 5, brain damage.


But with a different life than what we can have.

kid 9
Fadi, hyperactive. 8 times more active than a normal kid.


What can you depict from these photos? Can you feel what it’s like to grow up unloved, unwanted, and different?

kids on the floor


kid 7
Ashini, single parent girl, below 5


Are you willing to lend an ear and a hand?

To understand the reasons behind those tears.

kid 7_b


To know the story behind that smile.

red shirt kid
Kaladevi, normal, standard 3, single parent child


Behind every child, there’s a story.

gaping kid
Dinesh, normal kid, single parent boy, standard 1


They need love more than anyone else, don’t turn away from them.

kid from abusive family


Protect our kids. Ensure a better tomorrow for them.

kid 4_b


Because there’s a chance their life will be different because of you.

Share:

81 kissed Nicole

  1. *sobs*
    really.., it was touching..

    ReplyDelete
  2. erm firstly if it's yr b'day then Happy Birthday Nicole...2ndly im second here...wohoo...thirdly it is sad seeing people treat their kids worse than animals treating their cubs but unfortunately such people exists no matter hw educated the society is...all we can pray for is that there will be more people who might be kind enough to keep a look out for such people n report them to the authority...

    ReplyDelete
  3. - l i t t l e f o o t -1/3/08 2:43 AM

    Thanks for this entry....a good job indeed =)

    Happy Birthday to you too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yea, I know what you mean. I've worked closely with a home for special children before. I've seen these kids and it's heartrendering enough when you see them borned short of something a normal person should have. Be it physically, or even mentally.
    I don't know whether this will sound evil, or selfish to you but as I worked with that home (most of the times in fund raising events and festive seasons), I realized that sometimes what we can do for them is limited.
    I'm amazed by the volunteer workers there who work full time without pay but by living just on food and water through the home.
    But anyway, it's your birthday, so, just want to wish you "Happy Birthday!".

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happy Birthday, Nicole!!

    I like this entry and it's very well put. I wish I could hug all those kids. They looked adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  6. omg~
    seeing the pictures makes me wanna fucking cry!
    argh! the cruelty of life

    ReplyDelete
  7. Happy Bday!!


    your post is simply so touch...

    thx for sharing all those..

    ReplyDelete
  8. while i applaud your efforts for doing this for the children, i do wish you won't use offensive or derogatory terms to address them. words like "spastic" and "retarded" are just downright inappropriate.

    as you have such a wide audience, you should be educating people with the correct terms to use instead of common derogatory terms you find in primary school playgrounds. whats the point of helping them with money and material if we can't even address them respectfully?

    perhaps it's just me, but i also feel that by highlighting their physical/mental disabilities together with posting pictures of them in such debilitating conditions not only strip of their dignities but also their self respect.

    also, i notice Fadi is tied to a chair! that is not a humane way to treat a child eventhough he's hyperactive.

    like i've said, i applaud your efforts in trying to make a change, but some things are meant to be personal and private.

    ReplyDelete
  9. HAAPPYY Birthday!!!~~~~aar~~~~my friend...(^_^)"

    I like you more now because you are not just any blogger, or any beautiful drama queen...Actually U r friendly, kind and nice...eh...beautiful too...hehe...:)

    Will continue to support your bloggie for the next 200 years...Thank U Thank U...

    ReplyDelete
  10. kimberlycun: Dear kim, these are not inappropriate words. Spastic and retarded-mind are proper disability words, it is only when people apply it in a demeaning way that causes their derogatory appearance.

    These terms and introductions have been supervised by the owner of this orphanage personally. If they offend you in any way, I apologize.

    I am not trying to degrade any of these kids as I love them with my heart, but how can you let people understand what these children are going through if you don't let them understand their conditions properly.

    Hyperactive-ness is a disability, unlike our usual hyperactive terms to describe our peers, it can be very violent at times. Like scratching their own faces or hurting others by throwing things. However, they are not tied up all the time.

    Understand the story behind each children not just by how it seems. I want people to NOT fear these kids because of their appearance or their behaviour; but to understand their conditions and love them for who they are. Again, I apologize if this causes any discomfort.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Happy Birthday, Nicole! I've been reading your blog for some time and I think it's time to drop a comment or two. It's a really touching entry and being able to volunteer at these places has always been my dream, but I never get myself to do that until today. I'll take inspiration from this entry to get things started.

    Keep up the good work and hopefully, more people will understand these poor souls plight.

    ReplyDelete
  12. nicole, these terms are not remotely close to proper. there are many discussions about this on the internet if you would like to find out. the proper terms should be words like "cerebral palsy" or "mentally challenged", even "mentally Incapacitated". for example, the word "nigger" may be a proper way to address a black person in the deep south, but it's not the least right. i mean, it would be quite horrifying for many people if say any of your readers start refering to a cerebral palsy patient as a spastic or worse, a spaz because they read it here and think it's appropriate. it's just not.

    i understand hyperactivity is a stressful illness for the kid as well as people around him, but there are far better ways to restrain him then having him tied to a chair with a thin rope around his wrists! yes, it's not really a conducive environment to care for a hyperactive child with other kids that need as much or even more attention. but really, if you're gonna tie a kid to a chair, at least make it less painful. having said that, i still don't encourage tying anyone to a chair and i think that a better understanding of hyperactivity and medicines would have helped fadi better.

    the owner of the orphanage you're supporting is clearly unaware of the derogatory nature and sensitiveness of using such terms but really, you shouldn't be encouraging the usage. i'm suspecting that the owner is so pre-occupied with caring for the kids that he/she may not be aware of the right terms now, maybe even a little cynical. i don't blame he/she, but you and i are from the same generation and i think we should be more aware of the impact these words could have on the kids.

    i understand where you're coming from, but personally, the pictures wouldn't have been so bad to me if they weren't captioned with those terms.

    ReplyDelete
  13. kimberlycun,
    although those words are not appropriate (in your opinion at least), it helps non-medical people like most of us understand or relate to their conditions better. Im pretty sure that the owner of the orphanage don't have any malicious meaning when using those terms. You on the other hand, should see the brighter side of things which is the effort and kindness put in by the owner, Nicole & gang to help these kids and educate the rest of us about their conditions. That itself has more significance than the terms used on these kids and should be the main thing you ought to be concerned about. Kim, I appologize to you if I don't sound too nice but Im just trying to help you see the "main point". Try looking into other peoples opinions and you might find that you might be able to see things in a different perspective. Peace out.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Happy bday nicole!!
    And what you do is just like an angel. I can totally feel that u are very sincere and kind. Just ignore what others think, do what u feel right.

    ReplyDelete
  15. hapi bday 2 u...this post with the photos really touch my heart a lot...it's so sad that it eventually makes me teared out a few drops...which i seldom do...keep up the good work and hopefully i can join you doing charity one day..

    ReplyDelete
  16. After reading this entry, I suddenly remembered a poem I stumbled upon years ago. I have a brother, adopted from Thailand, who has a brain damage. As long as we're all living under the same sky, why would we waste our time looking at what's different?

    I had to translate the poem, so it doesn't rhyme anymore, but the words have not lost their meaning:

    As long as the earth gives children
    Who have to die tomorrow
    Who are too much in their own country
    They will carve their names
    In the heart of a stranger.
    A last reached hand.

    As once the Earth
    Gives children
    Whom stay alive tomorrow
    Then people finally learned
    To give something
    From themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I agreed with kimberlycun that all the pictures should be properly captioned with proper term or words. It's very very rude to addressed someone as retarded. Mentally illness sounds better and more appropriate, I would say.

    If it was your brother or anyone in your family, would you want him to be called "retarded"? Don't you think "sakit jiwa" sounds much better then "gila"..???

    ReplyDelete
  18. Happy Birthday Nicole :)

    Thanks for posting up these pictures. Sometimes, we tend to forget how fortunate we are. When we see these kids, we'll turn them away. But after reading your post, it's kinda an awareness to me. I hope to visit them one day. Treat them nice and love them as if they are my loved ones.

    Once again, thanks and happy birthday Nicole :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. happy birthday......

    these kids bring out the best and worst in humans.....

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Nicole,
    I would like to say a big thank you. You have post a blog entry that open up your readers view on the other side of good life. This is a touching side of life...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Kimberly,
    I think we should see the intention of Nicole here. We should put more effort to help those people instead of putting up comments on using the "proper" term when the intentions of the word is not harsh at all :)

    I understand your intention is kind too :) Well, since all is meant for good, Nicole can probably chat off-line with you about the proper term, and u can work with Nicole (and with us blog readers) to help out others :)

    Nice work Nicole and HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. it somehow reminded me of how fortunate I am and how unfortunate are some people out there on the streets or anywhere they are.

    I remember my trip to the HIV center somewhere in Rawang a few years back. Without knowing it I shed my tears listening to their stories .. it's very very sad in a way but they try to make their life as good as they can.

    be grateful, I will always tell myself that ..

    ReplyDelete
  23. Guys, look at it this way.
    The terms are only found offensive by you simply because you were in an enviroment at any point of your life and one of those terms such as "retarded" was used by your friends in teasing you or your other friends.

    What I'm trying to put here is, the acceptance of suitability of words for an individual will be affected by their experience on what those words were previously used for.

    There is nothing wrong with the terms that Nicole used. On the other hand there is nothing wrong also with the terms suggested by Kim.

    But look at it this way, Kim, supposed you simply mentioned cerebral palsy describing someone to your friends, how many of them actually understand what you're talking about?

    Kim is using a more professional approach which is incline to medical terms. I believe you'll be able to understand a doctor's report.

    But then again, don't forget this. Nicole's blog here is public. For all you know there are people out there reading this who's got a very poor vocabulary. Thus, the use of these lay man terms are appropriate her at this moment.

    ReplyDelete
  24. i can understand. 'cause my bro is a hyperactive. :[

    ReplyDelete
  25. holeechong1/3/08 12:35 PM

    Nicole,

    Your visit to the home is a "wake up" call to lots of people outside who still prefer to complain over almost everything.

    The kids at the home indeed need the community's support, but they are hear for a purpose...not only for themselves to live as a soul..but TEACHING all others "normal" beings to awake as life is more than what one perceive from the outlook.

    Continue to embrace your love, care and concerns onto others..your effort count and indeed you did added "colors" in their life with the support of your friends as well.

    GREAT JOB folks!! Go the distance in your respective life.

    Take care and God bless everybody.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Well...as long as we all grow up, but never grow old, age is just a number. These people here will never get to know what a birthday or any other celebration is all about, anyway...most important, we should try and make sure that they get to see life as being happy day in, day out. We can never understand what they have gone through and what they will go through. Others are entitled to make whatever comments they feel is appropriate for them. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Nicole...and good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  27. T_T so touching and so true... life is tough. Actually, I'm practically one of them too except my life isnt as tough as them. Really open my eyes n heart, this post of yours.

    the last pic... *sigh* can see the sadness in her eyes tho she's smiling.. :'(

    May God bless you for ur wonderful job in writing this entry. And May God help them face life's challenges. ><

    ReplyDelete
  28. oh btw! Happy Birthday! how u celebrate ur bday this year? with frens & family?

    ReplyDelete
  29. hey nicole. Happy bday. Omg...this is really touching.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Such a meaningful post. You've done great to help them.

    Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Nicole, can you please delete comments made by "der"? I am not going to add more comments about this topic. I think everyone meant well and all brought up good points/concerns. I am sure Kimberly has good intentions and does not deserve the comments made by "der". Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thanks for posting this up,Nicole.

    It's such a touching and meaningful post.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. im totally in love that nicole is doing this and i'm not discrediting her at all.

    im just saying that those terms are very offensive for the kids and many people have used it with intention to insult to address these children with disabilities. (ohh he's drooling, what a retard...ha ha ha).

    oh well, i've done my part in trying to highlight the derogatory nature of those terms and why we shouldnt use them. if no one had taken the effort to find out more about how these offensive terms could affect the kids, too bad.

    nicole's visit would only give these kids what, 2 months of supplies? while these derogatory terms will continued to by used abusively and wrongly by many people for generations to come stripping off their dignity and identity.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What you did for those kids was extraordinary yet humanly capable.

    Have a blessed birthday! =)

    ReplyDelete
  35. i very ashamed of myself. Many times we take granted for things we have, and many times we did not appreciate the life we have instead blaming others. If only we could be more caring and loving to everyone around us, a world would be a better place. Thanks nicole for reminding us.

    ReplyDelete
  36. "Because she is never trained to take solid food as the main purpose was to have her to appear as ill as possible, she is malnutrition since birth (hence her small disorientated figure). She can only consume milk for now."

    speechless... how can one ever do that =(

    btw, would hyper kids get better when they grow older?

    once again, thanks nicole for bringing this meaningful entry to us!

    ReplyDelete
  37. that's really an eye-opening experience...

    thank you for sharing, Nicole.
    to us and the unfortunate ones :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. I don't really care about what words was used,

    but can somebody please explain, Why do these Children have to suffer like that ?

    Somebody please explain why my own dad suffers with Cancer ?

    Why other people are so lucky ? Why are others so blessed with Big house, Big cars ? Why why why ?

    Why is this world so unfair ?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Happy Birthday Nicole.. Thank you for enlightening us with your post. After reading your post, I really want to make a difference in the society..

    Keep up the good work!

    -chuey

    ReplyDelete
  40. Happy Birthday Miss Nicole Tan!

    Karma goes around comes around.

    ~wilson

    ReplyDelete
  41. Happy birthday girl!!! thanks for posting this because it makes me realise that how lucky am i compared to these unfortunate kids and this really drive me to help them.

    ReplyDelete
  42. great job Nicole,
    it bought tears to my eyes when i saw these picks, i have been to some places like this in Sri Lanka and what i felt at that time was they didn't have much problems with donation but they needed something else badly.
    That is our care and share coz ppl hardly visit them and even there parents dont visits them often.So if we can spend sometime with them playing listing to then and caring for them thats the best gift we can give to them(as i think pls comment )
    BTW nicole am planning to drop in to Malaysia some time soon on a 5day trip i would love to spend sometime with them hope i can help on some of ur work
    I'd love to donate but at the moment i cant coz am still a undergrad but ill do soon as i pass out in 1 years time :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. I suddenly realize that i sound stupid saying "May God bless you for ur wonderful job in writing this entry". Let me rephrase that.. What i mean actually is May God bless you for spreading the word.

    ReplyDelete
  44. hey nicole, is this the orphanage at Taman Megah? heard that they are gonna move soon, because their current premise is too small. good to hear that you are so charitable. cheers

    ReplyDelete
  45. brilliant post, nicole. i felt it apt when i saw your comments named as '-- kissed nicole'

    happy birthday :)

    ReplyDelete
  46. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  47. That was a touchingly beautiful entry.

    Happy Birthday, btw.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Good work! Happy Birthday

    ReplyDelete
  49. I seriously don't know what to say but you did a nice job here.

    ReplyDelete
  50. nicole, you are one lucky n being blessed with all that you have now. you have traveled to so many places, seen a lot and taste a lot. therefore, never complain that you are poor again for there are really people who are poorer than you and never have the life that you are enjoying.

    besides, a great charity that you had put up with!

    ReplyDelete
  51. all those kids that whine about their parents should see this...

    ReplyDelete
  52. Dear Nicole

    First I would like to applause for your effort in increasing the awareness of the unfortunate beings out there. I also salute your effort for raising money for these kids.

    I am a doctor and I think the terms you used were appropriate. I do not think 'retarded' or 'spastic' are inappropriate. these are terms used for their diagnosis.

    What I wanted to highlight here is that everyday there are many abnormal babies born into this world. GOd has created the normal and also the abnormal, they all come into this world with a purpose. Sometimes some family cannot accept these 'special' group and they ended up in this children home. But they are also many out there who are deeply loved by the families and friends. They are treasured and loved as one of their owns. We see them when they come for their paediatric clinic follow ups.

    You have done a good effort in increasing the awareness of these special group. We do see them very often in hospitals, clinics... but not all layman out there have awareness that these special groups of people are among us. We should be thankful for what GOD has given to us, our healthy body and a thinking mind.

    Thank you for putting up this entry.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Happy belated birthday, Nicole. It's just great to have people like you around.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Nicole, I've been to orphanage and it's not as touching as yours. When I was a child, I accompanied my father to a disabled home in Penang. What make me proud, they make a living themselves even they need help from others. They didn't make their disabilities as a barrier. Maybe we can teach them craft or any skill that can benefit them.
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  55. dr k: while those terms are used for medical diagnosis, they're not used as innocently in a social setting.

    ReplyDelete
  56. what's wrong with this kimberlycun, har? having pms ar?

    so busy trying to correct other ppls words even after the dr. k mentioned it's appropriate...

    so tell me kimberlycun...while saying nicole's supplies can only last for 2 months, right? WHAT HAVE U DONE TO SPEAK LIKE U R A THE GODDESS OF CHARITY FOR OUR SOCIETY?! tell me...weekly visit to the these homes or donated ALOT to the charity?

    i think u got to respect nicole's blog and her readers...she already trying to replied u nicely but u still keep on NOT only blah blah blah nicole but also to her readers...

    if u really meant good send her an email lar.....don talked like a bitch!!

    outsider

    ReplyDelete
  57. Unfortunate beings ? I prefer to think that they are fellow human beings. Maybe different, but aren't we all different ?

    A handicapped friend who uses an electric wheelchair hates it when people starts telling him how life must be hard for him, or starts to express pity. Caring, and pitying, are two very different things.

    Anyways, some of these kids may have an undiscovered talent if nurtured properly. Nowadays you hear cases of autistic people who can perform amazing feats normal people wouldn't even dream about.

    Please support these kids, who knows what hidden potentials they may in store for the future !

    Autistic artist draws with photographic memory :
    http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4283633&page=1

    ReplyDelete
  58. I do agree..why kimberlycun still want to keep on commenting on the words used by nicole??.. Even Dr K aldy said its appropriate...

    Whats so big deal as long as the reader know clearly what does it means. And as long as the motive of this post is to create awareness... What so big deal? i personally felt sad because i didnt contribute anything to help all these children..

    Anywa, happy belated birthday to Nicole... your post really remind me how lucky i am

    ReplyDelete
  59. Nicole, I am moved by your entry on the visit to the orphanage. I went to one of the orphanages few months back, and it poses me a lot of dilemma whether or not to blog about it or not, whether to capture them or not. Then at the end of the day, I didn't have the heart to capture their happy faces yet sad conditions (to most of us). I feel that as much as I want to share it to others, I feel that there's more about sharing the story to others. It is about their dignity and self-respect.

    What I would like to pose here is, as much good as your intention here is, but at certain point, these photographs that you have posted, might raise and ethical issue. And I strongly feel that you should be more aware on that next time.

    And as your blogger views are increasing, I think it would be best for you to know more about the e-journalism protocol and ethics.

    Nevertheless, I could not thank you enough for your kind and sweet heart on these kids.

    Keep up the good work ;)
    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Thanks for the post! Its really meaningful !

    thank u for opening our eyes and hearts to the less fortunate!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Thank you, Nicole for spreading the love. I worked with the Salvation Army children hence I get what you mean. But hey! Our little thoughts and love to them meant a lot for these children.

    Seeing Fadi (the hyperactive child) being tied up, some how is disturbing. Would like to ask how many children is assigned to one staff?

    I watched talk shows about hyperactive children and they can be special and creative too. I am sure that you, too, know that they have short attention span =)

    Thanks again! Oh..and Ilve the turtle blog!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Personally... I think it would be better if you guys/gals use the time spent for arguing over what terms to be used/not to be used on contributing for the better good, instead.

    Please don't fight la... it's supposed to be an good-intentioned post, not something that should have turned into a flame zone.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Everyone is beautiful in their own ways

    ReplyDelete
  64. Thanks Nicole for deleting Der's comments. I think there are still a couple of "Anonymous" comments that are inappropriate and still needs to be deleted (e.g: comments about Kimberly having PMS etc).

    As I have mentioned, ALL meant well / has good intentions. Kimberly is concerned about the use of the word "retarded". I completely understand what she is trying to convey. I also understand that this word is much easier to understand in our culture vs other more complicated medical terms. In my opinion, the most important thing is for readers to understand these words and their usage appropriately.

    I also think think that a personal attack on Kimberly is unnecessary. If there are points to be made, they can be made in a non-offensive way.

    ReplyDelete
  65. thanks for deleting the unnecessary comments, nic. appreciate it :)

    just realised i didn't wish u a happy birthday omg. well, happy birthday babe!

    ReplyDelete
  66. dear kimberley, ur DAMN UGLY. Oh, sorry, its very offensive horr? Let me rephrase that. dear kimberley, your physical attributes is overwhemingly-offputting. There...I hope you don't get offensive, bcos after all, I only wanna make my point in a non-offensive way. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  67. oh boy, its so touching, thanks nicole =)

    ReplyDelete
  68. I am a Malaysian graduate student in Counseling Psychology in USA. I have been working with the physically challenged people since I was a kid, due to my mum's involvement with this community. I do agree that words such as "retarded" and "spastics" are incorrect and should be used. But I'm not trying to accuse you of any ill intention, Nicole, as you probably were not aware of this, like many other Malaysians. For example, all of my visually impaired friends tell me that they should not be referred to as "blind" or "retarded". Also, a lot of people use the word, "Albino" to describe people without color pigments, but the proper word is "a person with albinism" because the focus is on the disorder, and not labeling the person. I'm sorry but I have to comment that Dr K's opinion about this one is wrong, and so is the operator of this home for not informing you (although she probably did not know either), Nicole about the usage of such words, and Kimberly is right. It is not appropriate, because of the connotation such words convey, and hence derogatory in nature. Just like a woman who works at home is not a "housewife" but a "homemaker". Just because the Malaysian public is not familiar with the medical words is no excuse, since ignorance can never be an excuse.

    In USA, someone would get into a lot of trouble using inappropriate words. You could even lose your job, be referred to the Ethics board or even subject to disciplinary proceedings for a licensing board. Ask any sensitive, informed member of the helping profession - counselors, social workers, mental health activist, and they should give you the same answer as I have.

    Good work on your involvement, Nicole. I think it really means a lot to these people to actually get to see a pretty, cheerful and caring face like yours. Most girls your age are too busy cam whoring and partying and shopping and putting make up or doing their hair. You made a difference!

    Sorry to be long winded, but I just had to get my thoughts in about an issue which has already been well settled.

    ReplyDelete
  69. A poll by BBC reveals that the word "Spastic" has been voted by the physically challenged as the top worst word to all them. See this:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/yourspace/worstwords/topten.shtml

    And yes, tying a hyperactive kid to a chair is a terrible no no. If such cases are reported to WHO or a similar organization, Malaysia could have some serious answering to do.

    ReplyDelete
  70. hyperactive can be outgrown jz dat u need lots of money n time to do it...i've seen it done but it's not very kind to the person either...

    i've jz noticed there are so many good debaters here shooting with facts n figures but the thing that wonders me most is why none of our ministers are anything like that ? i think all yr talents can be put to better use than to debate jz here...jz a thought dun fire me for that... (^^ .)

    ReplyDelete
  71. Bravo!! Chariscrumbs Bravo!! Thanks for the post / explanation. I completely agree with you!

    ReplyDelete
  72. Happy Belated Birthday!

    Very nice entry. Touching. Heart-rending.

    Hope it can inspire others (inc. me) to get our lazy ass off our seats and get on with that intent for charity!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Bottom line, Nicole did a good job to educate us readers. whoever is right or wrong it doesn't matter anymore.. we can fight about those words all day and night! as long we ourselves do our part for not making fun at them then it is good enough.. u can have the most proper words in this world to address them, but if you dont respect them, it is still the same! start from ourselves to respect the kids there.. then we make a different! we know how to read here! god give us brain to think! so use them! think for yourselves whether it is right or wrong each we do something!

    I am sorry if someone out there doesnt agreed with me or i offended someone. i did nothing myself to help up in this charity and i feel extremely bad!

    Nicole, u really open my eyes and i know what i should do the next.. thank you so much.. anyway, happy birthday babe!

    ReplyDelete
  74. Hi,

    I agree with both nicole n kimberly. Yes terms that nicole used in this blog helps the public to understand the children's condition. However kimberly is also right in saying that there are appropriate words to be used to educate the public.

    E.g. "Yap kiang choon, aged 40+. Mind retarded.", You can make some amendments to it. It can become "Yap kiang choon, aged 40+. Mentally challenged (Commonly known to be Mind retarded)."

    I am taught that we should respect everyone. And we should not term people with additional needs in a way that can hurt them. By writing as above, we can allow the public to know the correct term to be used, at them same time letting them know what you are referring to and in a way, we are letting people with additional needs know that we are not insulting them in any way.

    Last but not least, i am glad to know that there are so many empathetic people around the world. Nicole, thank you for your effort! Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  75. In response to " why this world is so unfair"

    "The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, ordinary man takes everything either a blessing or a curse.”

    ReplyDelete
  76. Quick question: Is Fadi the hyperactive boy tied to that chair?

    ReplyDelete
  77. Dear Nicole,
    This very touching post brought tears to my eyes. You have done a very noble thing by bringing cheers to these underprivileged children. I wish I share your strength to pay a visit to them. I used to frequent this old folks' home back in Ipoh, and each time I went, I ended up crying and very miserable.
    Therefore, I really salute you. That's a wonderful thing you're doing.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Kawari caught my attention a lot of times, because she is always there for mei mei... they are like really sisters.

    i can't imagine what happened if either one of them was taken away from the other... it will be terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  79. It's really saddening. We won't be able to imagine the hardship that they have been through. Nicole, thumbs up for you to pay them a visit and bring some happiness to them.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I like your intentions, but you really need to work on how you phrase things. 'Retarded' 'Spastic' and saying someone 'is a Down syndrome' is completely inappropriate and demeaning. Use phrases like "Bob has Down syndrome" or "she has a disability". We can't begin to help people with disabilities or treat them the same as others |(like I believe your blog is meaning to do) when we refer to them in a sub-human way or as if they are another species. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete