My baby, my love, my one truly,
I miss you, to what extent you will never know, couldn't feel, wouldn't understand...
Oh, but I miss you
till it aches
till it hurts
till it ties up itself and curls into a ball
till the moon shines and the sun dims
till the day I close my eyes and tell myself I can no longer love anyone else any more than I already do for you...
till the day the sea dries and the stars fade... the mountain roars and the trees grey...
I want to hug you.. to cuddle you and to kiss you tenderly.. on your forehead to your cheeks, to wind you up in me and let you melt inside of me.
My world spins with you, and every time I hear your voice the world becomes a better place... every time I see you, nothing else matters anymore...
I want to shower you with kisses whenever I hold you in my arms, to touch your neck lovingly while you work on your laptop, maybe steal a cuddle in the lift when no one’s looking, or a kiss behind my aunt’s back. The world stops and people around us pause when we hold each other, when I’m in your arms, whispering sweet-nothingness in each other’s ear, nibbling on your skin and you plant your soft lips on the back of my hand, while I lift mine to cup your face.
It pains me to know that we’re world apart, for I cannot be there for you and you for me when we wanted, to wake up with you beside me every morning, and rest in peace every night against your broad shoulder; too see you off to work, and to welcome you back home with loving arms and a warm hot pot of tea to share, maybe a dvd to spare.
These are the luxuries I never get to experience. How I dread to have them, to spend every waking moment with you, to know that loving you makes me alive, my life more meaningful and bright with colours; knowing that my life is not wasted, for without you, it’s pointless.
Even if it means to argue with you and then make up later, because being able to be with you, to be next to you, to be able to hold you, means more than anything to me right now, rather than spending days, weeks, months! away, in silence, unable to reach out to you whenever I wish, unable to hold you when I please. It pains me deeply.
Heal my pain my love, mend my soul, for I have lost my direction and I cannot seem to find the road back to life that was once so clear to me.
Why do love hurts, when it feels so wonderful? Why? Why do you exist? Why is my world so complete with you? Why, my love?
Tell me, let me know, with a simple kiss, a warm hug, and maybe some three little words.
Thank you for the lovely little surprise when you sneaked up from behind the sofa.
I almost thought you've left me sitting alone in Starbucks.