Saturday, July 26, 2008

Missing my baby

My baby, my love, my one truly,

I miss you, to what extent you will never know, couldn't feel, wouldn't understand...
Oh, but I miss you

till it aches

till it hurts

till it ties up itself and curls into a ball

till the moon shines and the sun dims

till the day I close my eyes and tell myself I can no longer love anyone else any more than I already do for you...

till the day the sea dries and the stars fade... the mountain roars and the trees grey...

I want to hug you.. to cuddle you and to kiss you tenderly.. on your forehead to your cheeks, to wind you up in me and let you melt inside of me.

My world spins with you, and every time I hear your voice the world becomes a better place... every time I see you, nothing else matters anymore...


I want to shower you with kisses whenever I hold you in my arms, to touch your neck lovingly while you work on your laptop, maybe steal a cuddle in the lift when no one’s looking, or a kiss behind my aunt’s back. The world stops and people around us pause when we hold each other, when I’m in your arms, whispering sweet-nothingness in each other’s ear, nibbling on your skin and you plant your soft lips on the back of my hand, while I lift mine to cup your face.

It pains me to know that we’re world apart, for I cannot be there for you and you for me when we wanted, to wake up with you beside me every morning, and rest in peace every night against your broad shoulder; too see you off to work, and to welcome you back home with loving arms and a warm hot pot of tea to share, maybe a dvd to spare.

These are the luxuries I never get to experience. How I dread to have them, to spend every waking moment with you, to know that loving you makes me alive, my life more meaningful and bright with colours; knowing that my life is not wasted, for without you, it’s pointless.

Even if it means to argue with you and then make up later, because being able to be with you, to be next to you, to be able to hold you, means more than anything to me right now, rather than spending days, weeks, months! away, in silence, unable to reach out to you whenever I wish, unable to hold you when I please. It pains me deeply.


Heal my pain my love, mend my soul, for I have lost my direction and I cannot seem to find the road back to life that was once so clear to me.

Why do love hurts, when it feels so wonderful? Why? Why do you exist? Why is my world so complete with you? Why, my love?

Tell me, let me know, with a simple kiss, a warm hug, and maybe some three little words.


flower and teddy

Thank you for the lovely little surprise when you sneaked up from behind the sofa.

I almost thought you've left me sitting alone in Starbucks.

xoxo

72 comments:

  1. love is unconditional.love is always never perfect..but it can be near perfect.love is like a war, easy to start but hard to end.love is always never the way we hope and want it to be.just like the one i had.but i'll move on..i'll get better in time.as for you, my malaccan homie haha...u should treasure your love and make the most outta of it.

    cheers!

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  2. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    YOU GOT A BF ALREADY?!!!!

    DAMN and to think i'm still holding onto my queue ticket (for nicole suitors) hoping that my day will come when we can meet and you be mine.

    Alas, i will have to make do with reading your blog alone and fantasizing how it could be.

    Wishing you all the happiness in the world with him.

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  3. Nicole,

    He is no good to you. Dump him !

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  4. You're in love. ^^ Sweet. =D

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  5. Hi Nicole,

    In a bit of a dilemma now… what category shall I put my blog into? Personal? Ranty (thought not listed)?, family oriented (gah!)? Humor (unlikely)?, Fashion (never gonna be)?

    I don’t know… maybe you can help. Thanks and enjoy love in the air (grap some for me if there’s some straying/floating around and you don’t need too much of it) I need something to fuel my bonfire

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  6. nicole...
    since when you have a special someone????
    awwww...so sweet...

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  7. Beautifully written. You almost reminded me of how it feels to be in love.

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  8. he is gerald. we all know.

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  9. beautifully written....just want to share some verses from the bible if i may.
    "Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
    1 Corinthians 13:4"
    cheers and God bless

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  10. you also trying to steal samantha poh's boyfriend ah?

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  11. It's really sweet and beautifully written..
    May you have a stable and happy relationship with your 'Baby' till the end of the road.

    Hope to hear more love story from you.. ;D

    Love,
    curryegg

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  12. I'm wondering why Nicole never replies(or maybe I missed them somehow) or writes anything in the comment box ^^

    Anyway, Love is simple. =) For me, when you realize that you care about that special someone more than you care about yourself, that's love. We're all selfish, as human beings, we're designed that way. But love changes that... it's what makes us the selfish human being to selfless individuals.

    All the best ^^

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  13. "you also trying to steal samantha poh's boyfriend ah?"

    lol everyone knows he has been tryin 2 braks wif her 4 long time

    nicole i support u!

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  14. Heya Nicole! just wanted to drop by and say hi. u surprised me..never heard about ur special someone before..ur post so sweet la. look forward to see in in langkawi :)

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  15. "you also trying to steal samantha poh's boyfriend ah?"

    I dun thk nicole hav to do so?....or u are the one who tryin to steal ppl's bf/gf ? Just fuck off if u not happy with nicole havin someone special. Cz ur comment hav a heavy smell of jealousy which spoil the air=)

    love u nicole!

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  16. I will always support u!!! you are the great one!

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  17. Dark Knight27/7/08 12:42 AM

    All is fair in love and war - Tolstoy

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  18. Pouring your heart out to a million readers? Now *that's* confidence. Good for you!!

    Oh and BTW, nice article you wrote for the The Star today. It reminds me to be less conspicuous with the camera next time! :)

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  19. i can understand how u feel now coz am missing my baby too and he is too far for me to do all d lovey dovey things.. aw....

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  20. you know how badly your readers love to hear your love stories....

    At least I do~~

    Wakaka...

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  21. hmm, so many defenders who defend without reason...

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  22. Nicole "fak hao'. :p

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  23. hahahah,
    or maybe these defenders also same.
    hahahah

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  24. all u hamsap buggers have a greatt Sunday! U too Nic my sweetheart.

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  25. majority of the guys who come here and become defenders is also hamsap buggers lar, hahahaha

    if read the comments properly, can see they r hamsap buggers

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  26. U'r one dirty cat la, clean your whiskers after u eat! haha

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  27. Calvin Soo... I believe the Corinthians letter that you were referring to is this:

    {13:4} Love is patient and kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't boast and not proud,
    13:5} doesn't behave itself inappropriately,doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil;
    13:6} doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

    Why, indeed, true love does not boast...now,we do not boast about love, do we? That would be against the Holy Bible's way. But then again, what can I say when others are no believer.

    One may say I do not have a romantic bone in my body, but then again, love goes beyond flowers, kisses and even embraces.

    Flowers may wilt, the tingling sense you get during a kiss may fade after awhile. Even hugs lost it's warmth after some time.

    To me, love it's best portrayed in the mundane daily activities that we do to make our loved ones happy, not flowers or poetry on certain ocassion.

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  28. To hamsap lo,

    The way I eat is not clumsy at all, so i am very sure that my whiskers is clean.
    I am categorized as a cat, not in a dog category(wolf).
    hahaha

    by the way, after i read this poem, i suddenly remember a poem that i read some where else b4 this.
    i would like to share that poem with you all. it might contains some words that you all might not like it. but i feel that poem is quite funny, so i share with you all.

    here is a link to that poem.
    http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/solasis/222404/

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  29. a woman in love27/7/08 4:01 PM

    If love is true according to the rigid and lopsided dictates of Cleffairy the world would indeed be a grey and soul less place. Give me love in all it silly glory, with flowers, whispered words of sweet nothings and courtship rituals. I want nothing less.

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  30. To a woman in love,
    if you think love is only about romance and not to be together for the rest of the life and tolerate each other, then wat for get married? rite?

    love is not only during the romance moment, love is not only those sweet words.

    if you think love is only about romance, then i am sure that you will go and have affair with other guy after u married.

    for this part:
    Give me love in all it silly glory, with flowers, whispered words of sweet nothings and courtship rituals. I want nothing less.
    then when ur husband is working hard to ensure you have a better life, it means u will appreciate it. flowers will not last long, sweet words is only lies.

    if the man and the woman work hard to be together no matter how hard is thier live to make sure that they will be still together, that is called love.

    Guys who just give u flowers, tell u lots of sweet words r actually wolves. so, good luck and enjoy ur days with ur wolf.

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  31. Woman in love, I'm talking about love in terms of commitment and marriage. Pray tell, how many husbands out there constantly hand out flowers or recite poetry to their wives as a sign of love? Most expressed it through routine and daily rituals. Perhaps not much people over here understand that, because most are not married or just newly in love or just dating. Heck, some are even swingers or even players, of course love in their are are so flowery. LOL.

    Heck being married, I wouldn't want my husband to bring me flowers back from work or recite some damned poetry to me. I'd want some good massage or some help around the house. There's a difference between your husband helping you and getting help from other people.

    Or maybe your father and mother behaves as if they are in some sort of romantic drama, tis, I know not. But, if you want love with courtship and all it's silly glory, then have it by all means. I only can assume that you are not married, that is why you are not asking for a deeper way of affection.

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  32. typo correction for my post above:

    "for this part:
    Give me love in all it silly glory, with flowers, whispered words of sweet nothings and courtship rituals. I want nothing less.
    then when ur husband is working hard to ensure you have a better life, it means u will NOT appreciate it. flowers will not last long, sweet words is only lies."

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  33. woman in love27/7/08 4:37 PM

    Cleffairy and garfield u're a match made in heaven as u share the same views about love and marriage. lol.

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  34. To woman in love,

    i think it is better you ask your parents what is love to them. they will explain exactly what we said at above to you.

    do not fancy things that only last temporary, be more realistic and do something for long term. if can, make it forever.

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  35. =.= we're both cartoon character, what do you expect? Now, your statement got me speechless for awhile. That's a first.

    Love: Involves the birds and the bees too. What god is love with poetry and flowers without birds and bees getting involve? Whaha... hey, people... love is love, but remember to play safe, you all. LMAO.

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  36. a woman in love27/7/08 5:04 PM

    it is sad how ppl nowadays confused true abiding love, one that inspires Taj Mahal or even made a king give up a throne to marry a peasant girl with their measly obligations and little mortgages and comfort zones which they call a sorry excuse for love. Good luck Clef & Garfield, live long and happy. lol.

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  37. I can only say this.Love will abide, and take things in stride.

    Why, that was so kind of you to wish us. Trust me, we'll do. LMAO.

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  38. fantasies is just fantasies,
    you still need food to stay alive.
    u can't stay alive without food and just keep on enjoying in the fantasy world.

    if u and ur other half r too poor, you may share the bread together. this is how love works.

    not just didn't the bread and say "since there is only 1 bread, u eat the whole bread lar" and then at last, both also din eat the bread until the end and die.

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  39. by the way, the post just now to pointed to a woman in love

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  40. a woman in love27/7/08 5:13 PM

    Clef and Garfield try and remember this from someone who has been married for more than 30 years. It is the little gestures of love and appreciation that u remember at the end of the day. Be it a flower, a note or a look. It stays imprinted in your souls forever. Give me love in all its glory or nothing at all.

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  41. then u just live in ur fantasy world lar
    :)
    good luck
    :)

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  42. Garfiel looks like your whiskers got all mussed up now. Haha

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  43. Bemused bystander27/7/08 5:38 PM

    yeah looks like the 2 of them took a licking today & ran off with their tails between their legs! LOLZ.

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  44. It never ceased to amaze me that I could get responses out of you people out there once I comment. o.0

    LOL... I'd like to stay and make 'meaningful' conversation with the adoring citizens...haha, but, it's weekend, and do excuse me while I spend my time with my one and only.

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  45. yours always27/7/08 5:54 PM

    I know I know your love for me and I feel the same way too. But you must understand which I told you so many times that I can't do it so openly and being someone else husband I can't follow my heart until I break it up and start life all over with you. I thanks you for accepting me & my little boy. Each time we meet I know that you are the one, my true love and only love. I won't let you sitting alone at starbuck, not any more my love.

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  46. that tooth fairy is a real sour puss. Must have the parting shot. lol

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  47. WOW Nicol...ur homewrecker too?

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  48. Nicole, do you know, reading the comments here is more interesting then reading your blog. I read the comments quite often and it make me laugh.

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  49. Hey nicole, happy to hear about your relationship. Be sure you invites nuffnanger to your wedding ya. Time really flies lah, I remember when I first read your blog, it was Sept 2007. Thats when i revive my blog too. Back then I was quite active in your cbox. Unfortunately you have got to take it away, due to some inconsiderate ppl who then to harass you with the cbox by saying nasty stuff.

    Anyway, I can see that your writing skill has improved tremendously over the years. Bravo!!!
    Unfortunately my writing skill is only like 1% of yours lah. When are you free to give me some tips to improve?

    anyway, got to go. Take Care,

    Regards,
    Charlie Chia

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  50. Are you having your period earier this time?

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  51. hi nicole... i hope u will like these videos...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R-A6t3XKeo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRjb8sMjYu8

    xTOGUROx

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  52. i love nicole27/7/08 11:08 PM

    nicole, i love you lah.. forget that chap.. come and elope with me.. you will be loved like you never knew what love is.. hahahhaa.. and i havent even start talking bout sex yet..

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  53. samantha hater27/7/08 11:11 PM

    samantha poh's a bitch lah!

    nicole is better.

    samantha is a bitch! i hate her!

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  54. Nice...the feeling of being in love. I miss that.

    I wonder if my experiences have made me jaded.

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  55. hmm, seems like some post which it is supporting cleff is deleted by nicole and some commenter's post is edited by nicole as well.

    seems like someone afraid that there is ppl supporting the commenter then herself.
    :)

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  56. liar liar pants on fire. Nuthin been edited, was following from start. That's way below the belt even for a dirty alley cat. lol!

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  57. to cleffairy :
    thanks for clearing it up for me. didnt have the time to check it up with the bible. just trying to memorize it. to all....cheers and god bless.

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  58. garfield, get a life lah! so many tong sampah around! just jump into one!

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  59. u fuckin cheatin bitch! its okay coz i cheated on u too u fuckin ugly shyt

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  60. No.... I'm beginning to like u ...may b we can get to know each other better .... I'm heartbroken :(

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  61. To Anonymous,

    "liar liar pants on fire. Nuthin been edited, was following from start. That's way below the belt even for a dirty alley cat. lol!"

    if u do read properly and remember those comments, u will know that some of it is edited. plus, some of the post that deleted only appear just for a while only, the it is deleted.

    "garfield, get a life lah! so many tong sampah around! just jump into one!"

    i do have a life and i am proud with my life. honestly, wat u said at ur post, u should point that back to ur self.

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  62. If u have a fulfilling life u won't be showing so much derision and be so critical of others like your pardner Cleffairy. Only losers and sourgrapes do that. Life must have been harsh on the 2 of u. try meditation instead.

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  63. To Anonymous,

    criticism able to improve quality, remember?

    see nicole's new articles, she had listen to the critics and the quality is slightly improve a little bit.

    :)

    and by the way. able to see things improve due to my comments, this makes me proud, this is the life i like,
    so, syok with my answer already?

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  64. I think u're delusional. The world does not revolve around u. U half with. haha

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  65. To Anonymous,

    oh, really?
    :P

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  66. is that all u've got? this is getting boring.

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  67. Oh my Nicole,

    You are getting funnier comments in post than any other posts.... kakakakaka....

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  68. tats so sweet. may the happiness owez b wif u n him :)

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  69. u r so hot! I had ur nude photo

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  70. antinuffnang4/8/08 2:35 AM

    Sick of Advertisement in blogs? BLOCK THEM.

    Every time I visit some blogs, I am greeted with either huge ugly screens of advertisements from nuffnang or advertlets, or even BOTH from some greedy blogs.

    Sudahlah, I decided it's time I do something about all this advertisement shit that's shoved in my face.

    If you're sick of ads in blogs, you can now do something about them. Just block/ban the IP address of the ad server from your browser.

    I will show you how this can be done from Mozilla FireFox for now. For IE users too bad, you'll have to find your way, or SWITCH to Mozilla Firefox.

    First, you need to point your FireFox browser to https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/10

    Then install the addon and restart the browser.

    Go to Tools-> AdBlock -> Preferences

    Just add these 4 website filters

    synad.nuffnang.com.my
    synad2.nuffnang.com.my
    apps.advertlets.com
    www.advertlets.com

    For Singapore based ads add this too

    synad.nuffnang.com.sg
    synad2.nuffnang.com.sg

    Then click done.

    Kiss all the ads goodbye and no more in-your-face irritating crappy Flash ads.

    If you know any other ad serving servers, just do the same as above, find their website names and put it inside Adblock's filters.

    Now you can enjoy reading blogs without all those nuisance advertisements and without having your bandwidth clogged up by these irritating advertisements which could prevent you from reading the blog of your choice if their ad server cocks up.

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  71. Long distance relationships are hard. Sigh..

    Good luck in everything and stay strong!

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