I've been wanting to show this video to you guys for a while now, I recorded it during one of my muck dives in Lembeh.
It's a video of this male dominant clown fish trying to protect his nest where his wife and baby were resting.
In the video you will see the clown fish keep charging at big old me and the camera to try to fend me off and protect his home.
Couldn't resist staying on to watch and record because the little bugger was just too cute!
(just posted the video, so if it's not loaded yet, wait for 10 mins and load again)
The shakiness (diving and recording at the same time is not an easy task) might not show it, but Mr Husband was charging back and forth at me. I've never seen a tiny clown fish being so brave in front of a human before.
I left them alone in the end. Too cute to resist, just wanna tease the fella a bit by staying on for a bit.
I feel like drinking tonight. Though I have been on a very strict diet recently.
Partly due to my two back to back diarrhea incidents, I have to be more careful with what I put in my mouth.
On top of that, for the past two months I have also religiously been taking collagen and placenta extract on a once every three and two days respectively. Not sure if it's working.
But I've been losing weight, though that could have been resulted from the two cases of food poisonings which resulted in continual lost of appetite, and my complexion has been better, I doubt I have changed my nocturnal insane sleeping pattern much, and I haven't experience water retention after my period (which normally would happen) for the past month so I guess something is working, right?
What's more impressive is that I've been really emotionally stressed out these weeks and normally that would affect my appearance tremendously, but no dramatic changes have occur, thank god for that.
Let's just keep drinking and see how it will work out.
Maybe I might even reach my ideal weight in half a year's time and by then would, hopefully, have a way better complexion than how I was a year back.
Back to wanting to drink.
I know I shouldn't.
But I haven't for a long time and I feel like I really need a drink, and a company at that. One of my best friends has returned from China recently, which is good news, though my best bud Gerald has just returned to Brunei, I had wished I could have stayed back in Malaysia during CNY just so we could catch up. It's sad when you can only see your best friends twice a year. Sigh.
I miss our drinking sessions. Though normally we just drink and talk about nothing. It's those sort of friendship where you know what either one of you is thinking and words are unnecessary. Gerald preferably loves the ocean to do these sort of drinking sessions, probably because our friendship (and his first real backpack trip, or his first taste of freedom even) blossomed at one of the islands overseas, by the beach.
My third best friend is a Muslim, so drinking is out of the question. Apart from the fact that she's a thousand miles away from here. sigh
What I'd give to be able to wake up seeing this...
and sleep at night with views like this..
That was what I would say if I were single and young.
How I craved those days when I have nothing but me and my own to worry about. Nay love nor responsibility.
A day of instability was a day of comfort for me. Come as I go, meet and greet and later part. I have nothing but I to worry, to think, to take concerns in.
The years have not done me kind, and freedom has all but become a liability than luxury. Youth the keys to true freedom. Yet at this turning point, I'm seeking a sort of stability, the sort of comfort zone that one at my age yearns to establish. I do wonder if I'd owed certain people in my previous life. For these people has done me poorly as of recent years. They might not have realised so, but like a curse, they're poison to my happiness and peace of heart.
They come and think they can intrude someone's personal life like they own it. And use whatever logic and so called wisdom to "teach" and manipulate others. I'm sick of these words and sayings, or their so referred as "teachings", all of which to me were but mere pointless angry disapproving words.
Speak of love for all and praise of god, yet they spit vile to those they claim to love. Manipulate their hearts with words and twist their minds with "reasons".
They can own all the branded goods in the world, and be satisfied with meaningless worldly competition among their peers, but they will never gain satisfaction from loving another, giving another, and providing what even god cannot provide - care for others. They use thy words and pass on to others, yet never really implementing the actions, mere words I'd say, and see.
Then they accuse, base on no grounds, only personal judgment, for they think they wise enough. for they think they solely can love, think, and care. What selfish act, for they couldn't see themselves, and no amount of mirrors can help them reflect the image as they are. They are blinded, ignorant of their own eyes and thoughts, and thought no better of others but themselves.
What has the world come to?
Believe in karma? Believe in good prevails? or stand to fight?
I no longer believe in waiting for miracles to happen. Karma is but for the weak to seek consolation in.
I'm trying to get this accommodation sorted in KL so I can move in asap and this stupid landlady is playing MIA at the moment. Can't call through to her phone, text also no reply and the RM400 lawyer fee has been paid to draft out the terms contract bla bla bla...
In fact, I've been trying to move in since mid last year, and for some god knows what reasons, shit keeps happening every time I try to move in.
The previous case involved this incompetent agency company who gave the keys to the electricians to fix the electric box which broke down two days after moving in, and the Malay electricians brought the keys home for Hari Raya, yes! They freaking brought the keys balik kampung! which rendered the house vacant for two weeks despite having paid FIRST month rental!!
Then there was another case of this condo which has also already paid for first month plus all the deposits, half an hour before moving in, the agent texted (not call, but text!) to inform that the unit has been rented out by the owner to other agencies. like WTF?!
Really. For money, Malaysian property agencies are willing to do anything. Professionalism? What is that eh?
Today I have been struck again by diarrhea. God knows what food Malaysia serves us, but this is the first time in years that I am puking and suffering from diarrhea at the same time.
Which explains why this blog has been left un-attended for quite a bit now.
If I stay in this country long enough, I think I might even end up a skinny stick.
Thanks to copious amount of dirty food and numerous food poisonings.
The funny thing was, I didn't even go out to eat at mamak or random hawker places. Despite being cautious, food just gets more and more dangerous here.
The last diarrhea I had was just but half a month ago. A yearly occurrence of food poisoning has just been reduced to a monthly case. Hail Malaysia and its wondrous delicious food. *gag*
Maybe tomorrow when I feel better, I'll write something happier. For now, I'm going to try to rest.
Sigh. Stupid landlady, faster show up! Shit man. This sucks.
Chinese New Year last year, my whole family went to HK for the first time in many years as a family, it was the first true family trip since I became an adult.
Well, we're not going to break that flow this year. Tomorrow all four of us are flying to Bangkok together, a place that I am more than familiar with and there will be some part of the trip where I'll play host to my own family.
This could be fun. Hehe
Some of you might be expecting another travelogue entry now but I just can't find myself sitting down editing photos and typing something of a past travel trip when I'm quite hyped up about the New Year, correction, CHINESE New Year.
Part of me is, part of me isn't. Something has happened recently and to be honest I'm quite disappointed with myself, with the outcome and with what was to expect for this year. It wasn't what I was hoping for in the new year, but then again I wouldn't know what I expect I would feel IF things did go my way.
One thing for sure though, I am changing my style and way of blogging if you have noticed. More attention has been directed to my personal life, focusing to pursue a better personal value rather than putting a lot of my focus on this blog.
I find it more and more annoying with commercialized blogging and has adopted a more personal approach, spending less time worrying about updating and more time in well, figuring it out my life, living it, learning to love it and finding a new scope.
Part of the reasons why I was so disappointed with an outcome that wasn't part of my expectation recently. But let's move on from that topic.
As with every blog topic was covering when the year turned 2010, I stayed behind and wondered about my new resolutions and goals. It's a little more complicated than just wanting to lose weight. First I know I have gotten rid of habits (bad ones) in the past year without meaning to or intentionally doing so, and has seen the world in a more mature way than I have ever before.
One could see it in a pessimistic way or a realistic way. It really depends.
I have taken more concerns in my personal health, in the food I eat and my sleeping hours (something I'm still working really hard on). I started drinking collagen and placenta extract to keep myself, how should you say, young? Afterall, I am finally in my mid twenties, an age I never thought would come so soon.
For the first time as well, I found myself in the longest relationship I've ever been in this lifetime and together with the dilemma of going through the rather-often hardships couples go through. Probably more on my part.
It has been excruciatingly difficult to keep walking on this unnecessary mental torment and insults. No. I decided to withdraw from that source of nuisance, or at least I thought I was doing so.
There were days I'd ask myself if these are all life has to offer, are there more? Am I more than this? This state of in-betweens. Like how I asked myself if there was more to life years ago and I got my answers a year or two later, yes, there was more to life, and I was living the high and thinking this could only get better.
Then as to every turning point in life, we face downfalls and heartbreaks. Hope was permeated from my life and I was plummeted rather cruelly. It has been more than a year since that happened. And with that, I found myself standing on this blurry seemingly straight path, asking myself the same question I asked myself years ago.
"Is there more to life than this?"
I'll get back to you, and myself, on that in a year's time.