Friday, February 12, 2010

Starting Anew

Chinese New Year last year, my whole family went to HK for the first time in many years as a family, it was the first true family trip since I became an adult.

hong kong famous mango pudding


Well, we're not going to break that flow this year. Tomorrow all four of us are flying to Bangkok together, a place that I am more than familiar with and there will be some part of the trip where I'll play host to my own family.

This could be fun. Hehe

Some of you might be expecting another travelogue entry now but I just can't find myself sitting down editing photos and typing something of a past travel trip when I'm quite hyped up about the New Year, correction, CHINESE New Year.


Part of me is, part of me isn't. Something has happened recently and to be honest I'm quite disappointed with myself, with the outcome and with what was to expect for this year. It wasn't what I was hoping for in the new year, but then again I wouldn't know what I expect I would feel IF things did go my way.

It's complicated.

One thing for sure though, I am changing my style and way of blogging if you have noticed. More attention has been directed to my personal life, focusing to pursue a better personal value rather than putting a lot of my focus on this blog.

I find it more and more annoying with commercialized blogging and has adopted a more personal approach, spending less time worrying about updating and more time in well, figuring it out my life, living it, learning to love it and finding a new scope.

Part of the reasons why I was so disappointed with an outcome that wasn't part of my expectation recently. But let's move on from that topic.

As with every blog topic was covering when the year turned 2010, I stayed behind and wondered about my new resolutions and goals. It's a little more complicated than just wanting to lose weight. First I know I have gotten rid of habits (bad ones) in the past year without meaning to or intentionally doing so, and has seen the world in a more mature way than I have ever before.

One could see it in a pessimistic way or a realistic way. It really depends.

I have taken more concerns in my personal health, in the food I eat and my sleeping hours (something I'm still working really hard on). I started drinking collagen and placenta extract to keep myself, how should you say, young? Afterall, I am finally in my mid twenties, an age I never thought would come so soon.

For the first time as well, I found myself in the longest relationship I've ever been in this lifetime and together with the dilemma of going through the rather-often hardships couples go through. Probably more on my part.

It has been excruciatingly difficult to keep walking on this unnecessary mental torment and insults. No. I decided to withdraw from that source of nuisance, or at least I thought I was doing so.

There were days I'd ask myself if these are all life has to offer, are there more? Am I more than this? This state of in-betweens. Like how I asked myself if there was more to life years ago and I got my answers a year or two later, yes, there was more to life, and I was living the high and thinking this could only get better.

Then as to every turning point in life, we face downfalls and heartbreaks. Hope was permeated from my life and I was plummeted rather cruelly. It has been more than a year since that happened. And with that, I found myself standing on this blurry seemingly straight path, asking myself the same question I asked myself years ago.

"Is there more to life than this?"


I'll get back to you, and myself, on that in a year's time.

Till then, Happy Chinese New Year all. :)

18 comments:

  1. Enjoy your Chinese New Year and valentines.

    Dont forget rescue diver!!

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  2. I felt the same too.
    I have always feel something is missing in my life.

    Happy CNY.

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  3. Happy CNY to u..^_^

    All the best in life..

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  4. most people reflect their lives when new year arrived, but urs is b4 CNY...

    anyhow, keong hee huat chye..

    have fun in thailanf

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  5. Well.... Be happy no matter what you do. We only have one life anyway.

    Cheer up!!
    And happy Chinese new year!!
    lalalalala

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  6. enjoy reading your entry. blog about your family travel to bkk ok.

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  7. Happy Chinese New Year to you!

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  8. Happy New Year to You Nicole.

    And it seems... welcome to your 1/4 life crisis

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  9. Happy Chinese New Year to you! Do enjoy your life to the fullest!

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  10. happy chinese new year from Ushaia, Argentina :)

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  11. enjoy your CNY break nic :-) waiting from more picture update from you!

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  12. Yes, your blog has become a slave to the ringgit. You used to write honestly. Now its all pretentious and I'm only back to see what level of snobbery you have ascended to. Your life is supported by invisible people and yet you pretend to travel by your own means. Let the old, simpler and unmade up Nicole shine through again.

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  13. HAppy CHinese NEw YEar !! Enjoy your life... ^^
    From Eriku

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  14. 生命就像騎單車一樣,除非你停止踩踏板,否則不會掉下去。 ..................................................

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  15. Do u get paid to blog and travel,I noticed your schedule and it seems u never get stuck in one place specially your home.

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  16. Do u get paid to blog and travel,I noticed your schedule and it seems u never get stuck in one place specially your home.

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  17. happy chinese new year nicole!

    have fun ya!

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  18. nice post. thanks.

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