Online Dating – Is it The Way to The Future?

so early already post

kenny hasnt posted yet.

the result for the previous post "how to keep the spark alive in a r/s" out already ar? hehe...

Are you guys still waiting for kenny? He is busy searching his hamster...into his dreamland even :P

haha

I like ur offline look ar~ (^__^)
So so special...

Never came across any real story about online dating sites. I am rather suspicious of the profiles the online dating sites have actually. I think most, if not all, of the paid sites create fake profiles to entice potential subscribers. Just check the so-called 'subscribers' especially those in asian countries, you'll know what I mean. How it's possible for asian countries to have hordes of caucasian users but very few asian users?

I've rather an interesting story about mIRC though. I personally came across a french guy who traveled all the way from france and settled down in spore after meeting a spore malay lady via mRIC. He speaks only PERFECT singlish (ahbeng's english) with all the 'lah' 'leh' 'lor'. Not that he's faking it. He speaks like that all the time, even in formal meetings. Over the phone, there is absolutely no way to know that you're actually talking to a french guy! He said he learn his spoken english in spore, that's why.

Virtual world is just another part of the new way of life. Pretty much analogous to the pen-pals era but, in a much convenient way.

i met my hubby online!! well, we both got to know each other from a car forum :) then he saw my friendster profile and read my blog.. before that he thought i'm a guy pretending to be a girl on the car forum as he hardly comes across a girl car freak! hehehe..

anyway, we exchanged emails, chatted online and on the phone for a week or two.. then we met in person after that.. and after our 1st meet up, he sms-ed me and told me he's in love :) we dated for 3 months before we went to the registry to sign the paper :D

actually at first i disagree with online dating cause is very dangerous n donno what kind human we r gonna meet.. well u clean my mind.. what u say really true.. but we must be very carefull.. cause we doesn't know his real aim was for u.

I met my current boyfriend online!oh, my line sounds cliche after ::nicole:: above ;)..

well, i dint meet him on an online dating site . i meet him on myspace.

I just went through a horrible relationship. The relationship left me totally drained and tired. Dramatic, but i really felt like the world stopped spinning.

Then a friend a friend asked ,e to get a myspace account. she wont stop pestering me until i gave in and made and account.

I checked my account one day and saw a friend request from a guy in KL. I decided to check out his page and read his "about me". there's subtle hints there that he's been tru a horrible relationship too.

A broken heart seeks solace from a broken heart i guess..we started messaging and i found him to be caring , smart , and funny.

soon we exchanged phone numbers and we would text message each other non stop.it went on for a couple of months.It was only 3 months later when i first hear his voice over the phone. :)

I liked him. i felt i could trust him.. and when he asked me to be his girlfriend , tho he's from KL and i was in Miri , i said yes.

11 months later, we meet in Labuan where i was studying for the first time.

We've been together for 2 years now.Although im no longer active with myspace , i still keep my account for what it means to me .

i have 3 ex boyfriends and i met them all on friendster.

1st ex => wasnt so much of a love, more like a puppy love. but hey. he is dead honest with me lo. he listens to my opinions etc and pampers me much. we were young and shy then. now? we are best friends! who said ex-es cant be bff??

2nd ex => greatest guy i've ever met. he added me by random and we started sending messages through friendster. it started off with a casual chat. and then somehow i knew that i was going to fall for him. at that time, studies is my top priority so i asked if we could become pet bro/sis [an excuse just so that i wont fall for him]. but after all the sms whole day plus hours on the phone everyday, i knew he was the one and he persuaded me to let him in. so i was pretty much on cloud nine then and yea i said yes to him. it was kinda like a long distance thing so it didnt really last long. but those were the moments i treasured most.

3rd ex => now this is a bastard. he was lovey dovey, treating me nice and all. started dating not long after we knew each other and honestly i dont really know him well enough to even say that im his gf. bottom line is, i felt so "dirty" while dating him. he pretty much became "my stalker" when the relationship ended.

and now, this guy on friendster has been showing interest in me for close to a year now. he told me his feelings many times before but i couldnt bring myself to open up to anyone ever since how my 3rd ex treated me like. i cant even open up my heart to my childhood friend. imagine how great the impact was towards me.

so there are pros and cons about online dating, depending on how you view the matter and how you handle it.

a little advice to everyone reading this. no harm dating someone you met online. but just be careful. never start one if you dont know them well. the word well means you know every single detail about then and probably his darkest side? ie a person who opens up to you -dark side, childhood life and just everything thats going on in their life.

never rush when it comes to love.




eemeichng@gmail.com

i did not beleived in online dating as the risk is pretty high. in the internet, everything can be lovey dovey. but in real life, its actually reality. that is what i beleived previously. till last year, when i met kelvin, although our relationship did not work. i got to know him from a car forum, and eventually fell for him. 18 of november is the day we started our relationship. i've neved felt so secure with him before and i trust him a lot. our relationship came to an end because of conflicts and lack of trust. i thought it was meaningless staying here. today, i did not regret for dating online, its maybe just not the right time.

I do believe that there is a valid place for online dating as a way to meet the man/woman of your dreams. Online dating is a great way to meet people outside your normal circle of friends, colleagues and acquaintances. It certainly opens up a new option, heck, several new options to the more traditional ways of meeting people which our parents' generation practiced. And you can't deny that Generation X, Y and Z are more comfortable using technology like the internet, social networking website, and mobile phones to socialise and maintain social connections. So why not to date?

But having said all that, I personally prefer "offline dating" rather than online dating. Call me old-fashioned, but I happen to think it's more romantic.

I believe that people fall in love through their five physical senses - sight, touch, smell, taste and hearing. Initially, we may be attracted to someone because of their looks but it's our other four senses that help us to decide whether to pursue the attraction further before other factors like emotions, rationality and logic kicks in. Our five senses affect how we think and feel about someone, and how we remember them. I can still remember my first real kiss, the gentleness, softness and love offered with it, even though it was many years ago.

Electronic letters and text can never ever convey the millions of unsaid signals sent and received through personal face-to-face communication and which can help us to really know a person. Communication is not just the exchanging of information - it's also about the things which are unspoken but carry so much meaning, like holding the hand of the person you love even though no words are being spoken between the both of you.

Nothing wrong with online dating, but I think it takes away a bit of the thrill of really getting to know another person. I don't know about you, but I want to savour the experience as much as I can. I think that online dating also takes away a bit of the mystery and sense of the unexpected you get with the offline dating experience because online dating allows you to quickly "discard" "less promising" candidates without giving them much thought. Also, for some, it'll be like a kid in a candy store wanting everything in sight, not realising they don't have money to buy everything in the store. In real life, I think people are more likely to think through how they feel about someone and weigh the consequences of going out with that person, whether it's them doing the chasing or the one being chased. So if and when they decide to date a person, they would already have a pretty good idea of what they want, rather than throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks. I think this saves a lot of heartache and heartbreak in the long run for all parties involved and also improves their chances of actually finding the man/woman they will eventually marry.

Of course, when you face rejection, the sting seems to hurt more because it happens right in front of you in real life, and not on a computer screen cushioned by letters and text on a computer sent from a computer which is perhaps many thousands of miles away. You can't run away from it because you have no place to hid. But I think that's life. The bitter and the sweet that makes life unique and worth you trying to live to its fullest.

Technology and online dating has its place in trying to find one's life partner or soulmate, but I see it mostly as complementing "offline dating". I know that technology is a boon to my friends who have long distance relationships because it allows them to be in contact with their loved ones at almost all times. But even though they may email or call them every day, my friends tell me that it's no substitute to having the person they care about physically with them.

To be honest, if I choose to date a certain person, my decision will mostly be based on how well I know that person and trust them. Usually, that person would already be a good friend and someone whom I think may have the potential to be more than a good friend. I'm looking for a lasting relationship and I feel that the best way to achieve this is to first be friends with someone before even considering dating them. Yeah, I think that's the gist of what I'm trying to say. Use technology to help you find and make friends, but if you want a deeper relationship, traditional methods still work the best, at least in my book :)

Based on Nicole's post, i guess online dating might work providing going through reliable online dating website, as there's higher percentage for users to post up their true personal profiles. In this cyber virtual world, one actually can express themselves through words, and by the help of gadgets such as webcam and microphone, both parties can actually communicate and fall in love with each other. Although he/she might turn out as a very different person as u expected (appearance,maybe), why dont you just accept their flaws? Who can guarantee the people you meet in real life dont hide their true selves behind those decent clothes? Actually few years back then , when i was quite young,i had some sort of online relationship with this guy i met in game, okay, it might sound hilarious, its not exactly consider as online dating, then we exchanged msn, and we chatted, web-caming for some time, and enjoyed each other's company. You know in those games where you can get married? yeah, i went through those too, it might sound so childish, but i developed kind of weird feelings for him. It might be purely friendship or romance.Anyway, i told myself its really abnormal to have this kind of relationship, and we kinda told each other, and he told me he virtually like me and he confessed that he has a true relationship in real life. I felt sad, but of course relieved after stoping this kind of relationship. I guess when sometimes you feel like having your virtual boyfriend/girlfriend company, or getting their hugs when you feel down, its kinda impossible in online dating, huh?

anything can happen in this century. life is full of mysteries anyway.

Pak Lah has been derelict in his duty and appears to be incompetent.

Current events in Malaysia speak of a government that is out of control because of Pak Lah's lack of leadership. Each time something of major public concern occurs, he hides behind the scene and lets his ministers or some other person manage the problem.

A good leader will come out in the open and lead from the front not the back.

It is not proper for the government to tell the Bar Council, the country's best legal brains, what to do when its so-called law minister does not even understand the basic notion of natural justice.

The Election Commission is another tool of the government when it is supposed to be fair and neutral. How can it claim to be an election commission when everyone knows that the electoral boundaries are so biased and skewed against democracy? Is it any wonder that the Barisan always wins the elections?

The other crucial factor is the bureaucracy, those public servants who are under the people's payroll.

In Japan, for example, you see this separation of the bureaucrats and the politicians clearly. So no matter who forms the Japanese government, the bureaucracy is able to function effectively and smoothly and in fact there is even a joke that you don't need the politicians to run the country in Japan.

The government is so used to deceit and doublespeak that it is unable to think straight and that is why it is full of contradictions. Take for example, the shameful keris waving matter. Now they are coming out and saying that it will be a permanent part of their political culture.

Western kings and princes have a ceremonial sword as part of their attire but we don't see their politicians waving swords at their political meetings do we?

But in Malaysia, reminiscent of Hitler's Nazi youth groups, can do it and we know the outcome of such behaviour years later.

The country spends untold sums of money on religion, building mosques at taxpayers expense, spending millions and millions on religious schools, yet corruption is so rampant and it affects every echelon of the economy. For years, every Malaysian knows that the traffic police are corrupt. Yet the government has not done anything to stop the corruption.

Let us face it. Call an ace an ace and a spade a spade. The Malaysia government has been in power for too long and lost its moral compass. It is lost in the jungle of greed. The only thing worse than a corrupt government official is the people who support him.

The non-malays know that Pak Lah and his cronies tell them one thing and another to their own people. They are masters of doublespeak and politicians are renowned for speaking with a forked-tongue.

More and more malays now know that only a handful of cronies take the lion's share of the nation's wealth which is meant to be distributed among them more evenly. Mahathir duped them with his plan to establish a few super rich malay tycoons.

The state of the nation is not healthy. Pak Lah's administration has failed the moral test. He himself has failed the test that he established himself. Judged by his own standards and words, he has failed. Tell me the truth, work with me, yak, yak, yak, but what do we get? The opposite! And now that the Bar Council has told him the truth - he scolds them. Shish.

Let us face the truth. Politicians are not royalty born to lead. They are given the chance to lead. Take away Pak Lah's role and what is he? Look at the high and mighty Mahathir. Where is he now?

The Malay Dilemma was a myth created by Mahathir to exploit the psyche of a victim's complex innate in the malays of yesteryears. But cunning Mahathir made it out that the British and the Chinese put the malays at a disadvantage. And after 50 years of Umno rule, what have changed?

Malaysians should not be stupid but angry that their country is being exploited by the people they elected to benefit them. It took a long time to get 5000 people to sign the petition to the King. It should have taken five minutes! Or five days.

But if I announce a free porn video, be sure I will have 500000 people sign up. The young in Malaysia had better wake up and start to do something about their country, about their future.

Don't be fooled by the politicians who say the Chinese are the enemy, the Indians are the enemy, the Malays are the enemy. There is only one enemy. The one who is corrupt. Everyone else is your friend.

Save Malaysia and take part in every activity that you can and vote out the corrupt politicians to make your country a better place.

Remember your future is in your hands and don't blame anyone if you suffer because you made the wrong choice. The last time many of us were fooled - but once bitten, twice shy.

I think if Lee Kuan Yew is given a free reign to govern Malaysia for just a single term, Malaysia will double its GDP, poverty will be cut by 50%, corruption will spiral down and our jail will be filled with Tun, Tan Sri and Datuk.

Of course it is just a dream but what a nightmare Malaysians are now suffering!

This kind of word play shows a complete contempt for the intelligence of the Malaysian public.

Public perception in Malaysia is a crude measure of any institution's performance because the information provided to the public is generally packaged and filtered by Umno-controlled television stations and medias.

Universities are themselves fiefdoms, controlled not by qualified and capable academic administrators, but rather by Umno political appointees, many of whom have absolutely no background in education management.

Clearly it is because the results of the THES and virtually every other public or private ranking system show Malaysia institutions to be mediocre at best and most rankings do not even mention Malaysia at all.

Our neighbors like Singapore, Korea, Japan, China and Australia have a number of institutions that regularly appears in the top 100.

It makes no sense. The reality is that our universities are simply mediocre extensions of a flawed high school system. Our best students have no choice but to travel abroad to earn a decent education and must do so at great costs.

Our government has shown by example, that nepotism, deceit, corruption and bribery are the key ingredients for success in this nation.

Merdeka Day is a day of shame especially on this 50th Merdeka Day. On this day you have to compare how a successful country like Singapore has done everything right and why Malaysia has done everything wrong.

On this day you will wonder why are we not better off if we are still under the British, I can assure you - we do not fall into what we are today. On this day everyone especially Sabah and Sarawak should be reminded that they should not join Malaysia in the first place.

If you ask me how great are the Umno. I would say they are shameless people just like some Ang Moh who drop their pants for all to see.

NEP as implemented has always involved using government funds for the intended beneficiaries.

When it was the intention of the government to create the richest malay to head the list of richest individuals, now announced by the prime minister, the government adopts the policy to give public funds directly or indirectly to private individuals so that he/she can become the richest individual malay in the country.

Mahathir declared that NEP would have met its objective when the government was able to create a millionaire among the malays. It was the first time he extended the objective of NEP to make malay millionaires, and facilitated the use of public funds to enrich his cronies. Badawi now extends the creation of malay millionaires to become malay billionaires, and also to lead in the list of the richest individuals in the country.

It is clear to the whole world that NEP created unfair hardships to the non-malays no matter how Umno wanted to justify it. Unlike article 153 which was supposed to be reviewed after 15 years from 1957, NEP was to be implemented for 20 years from 1970. There was no provision for extension, and the only clearly stated quantitative target was that malays were to achieve 30% of corporate ownership after 20 years.

Badawi pretended that he wanted to be a prime minister for all Malaysians, and called for malays to forgo crutches. At the same time, he conveniently resurrected NEP and extended it to 2020, and his deputy suggested the continuation until 2057, for the present.

Prime minister and his deputy promised a year ago to reveal the methodology adopted by EPU, to challenge the results of ASLI finding that the 30% target had been achieved. His recent announcement makes ASLI finding irrelevant since NEP will continue forever, whatever the actual results show.

Ordinary malays appear to accept to pay a higher price for their motor vehicles when AP system which was exploited to enrich the well connected malays, they appear happy that NEP is continued even though NEP has caused a decline to their standard of living and level of earning.

They accept that as a cost for enabling malays to lead the list of the richest individuals in the country.

I believe the Badawi son-in-law get into Oxford is because of international allocation seat and not because of intellectual or academic achievement. After all, he shows to everyone that he is brainless.

She got 9As and chose to study in Sunway College. Look what our Malaysia public universities are attracting a bunch of monkeys making troubles. Hard to imagine our public universities becoming world-class rather going down the drain.

For every good student out there, there would be ten others who have been:

- denied places in local universities;
- denied seats of their choice of courses;
- denied scholarships of their applications;

But the greatest grievance, insult and sin done onto them as equal citizens of this land is that they are forced to leave their homeland in order to further their ambitions.

Let me tell you that, every year, there are thousands and thousands of Malaysians taking STPM (the most difficult exam in Malaysia) after finishing their SPM. These students, if they spend as much effort in London School of Economics from University of London, they all would have easily score distinction in every subject they are taking!

It is unfortunate, but there exists a whole new generation of Malaysians making waves overseas who care nothing for the idea of making their homeland proud because their homeland has done very little to acknowledge or nurture their talents.

True rewards only come to those who earn them, and you value most, that which you have worked hardest to achieve.

Going about in life with the desire to "make our country proud" is irrelevant. Someone said that patriotism is but a tool used by the ruler to control the masses. We should no longer look at the world with the lens of a country anymore.

We seem to take credit that someone who is not even a citizen anymore nor a Malaysian anymore achieves something great simply because he/she was born in Malaysia?

As for racial lines, as long as our national leadership maintains that dividing line lopsided deals and opportunities that differentiates between races instead of poverty and wealth, says who belongs to what race and what religion and unequal treatment, these lines will continue to pop up at every opportunity.

She should have stayed back in UK and worked there! Monkeys here won't recognize her talent.

Ho……….enough said. Do what you need to do. Do what you think is the best for you.

If you think you are brave enough, good enough or strong enough, take off please. I am pretty sure you can live anywhere in this world. Nobody ever said 'we' should stick to one country, right?

Right.

I think most of us Malaysians know the country is rotting to its core for the last few decades. It only takes a Michael Backman to confirm it.

Such a pity this country could have been a 1st world country like Singapore but had to be misgoverned by a bunch of crooks using misguided policies for their own ends.

It looks like the country hasn't reach rock bottom yet and it is going to get a lot worse before it get any better.

Local companies are moving away, rich peoples are moving their money elsewhere and the country's top brains are simply draining away. Our leaders are still happily plundering the country's wealth regardless of everything else.

Our future is bleak, very bleak indeed.

Do you think that our politicians actually care whether the universities are good? They want to produce followers, not leaders. They sent their own children overseas so that they come back to lead the followers.

Our followers think that the politicians are doing a great job by allowing more and more citizens into universities; voting them in office time after time.

There will come the time when the country is full of unemployed graduates. That is when the followers will hopefully wake up to the reality.

As for the VCs, head of departments, deans etc, they just follow the instructions and examples of their political masters. Just see all the wastage, injustice, inefficiency, discrimination, cronyism etc, and you will realise that they also have their political agendas just like their masters.

Bad intentions, bad universities.

Lee Kuan Yew said recently the relationship between Malaysia and Singapore has not always been smooth sailing, and so investing in the Iskandar Development Region (IDR) may not always be smooth sailing for Singaporean companies.

This is simply a statement of fact that nevertheless appears to have gotten local Umno leaders into a tizzy.

Every local Umno politician hopes to be in a position to be approving investment flows into the country because to stand as gatekeeper is a very lucrative position, and when public squabbles erupt between Umno politicians about who is the better "protector of malay privileges and rights", it usually means someone just wants a bigger cut of the investment action for himself.

Go figure that one.

Of course, the relationship between Malaysia and Singapore is special because of the race relations issue.

Singapore has been the favourite whipping boy of the Umno-controlled malay vernacular press for the last 50 years, and if anything are seen as even bigger devils than the local Chinese and Indian citizens of Malaysia in the eyes of Malaysia's malay Muslims.

The fact is Singapore's development model has meant that Singapore's malays are far better educated, far better equipped, far better paid, far more self-confident, and self-reliant to deal with globalisation than malay Muslims in Malaysia.

This makes Ketuanan Melayu, the malay Agenda, and the NEP look like failed racist apartheid policies that have impoverished everyone except Umno cronies. Of course, Umno must demonise Singapore to maintain the illusion that Umno politicians are nationalists and not parasites, and more so if Singapore happens to be better educated, meritocratic, richer, and safer than Malaysia.

Malay Muslims in Malaysia have been brainwashed by Umno for the last 50 years into thinking that the Chinese and Indians both Malaysians and Singaporeans have gotten rich at their expense, and this perception probably won't change anytime soon because Umno does not have another elections winning formula if it dumps the present demonisation formulas.

Every time Singapore's first world achievements are compared with the sluggish competitiveness, economic, educational, professional, scientific, technological, and social standard in apartheid Malaysia, there is the predictable keris waving, baying for blood, and frothing at the mouth in every Umno up and down the country in Malaysia.

Although Chinese and Indian Malaysians have simply accepted the gross racial discrimination in business, education, and job as a fact of life in Malaysia, the non-apartheid non-NEP meritocratic Singaporean mindset may not have the stomach for this particular type of nonsense in the IDR.

I think Lee Kuan Yew is way too smart to think the demonisation process of the Chinese and Indians in the Umno-controlled malay vernacular press is going to stop anytime soon. How else is Umno going to win elections except by continuing to perpetrate the lie that the orang asing minorities in Malaysia are a threat to the malays?

Nevertheless Lee Kuan Yew may be hoping Chinese and Indian Singaporean investors will not be discriminated against in the IDR in comparison with investors from countries like China, Europe, India, Hong Kong, Taiwan, United Kingdom, and United States.

In the meantime, I am sure it will simply be business as usual for the rest of us in racial and religious apartheid Malaysia.

Everything is possible.

For one who had experienced online dating, I dont wanna say it's fate, but rather, your luck.

It's unbelieveable, but if you're lucky enough, you'll meet one who's sincere.

If you are sincere, then there's no reason why other people arent, but it still relies on your luck.

I never expected an online relation but there was an accident that allowed me to meet one. Which, I saw is a total coincidence.

Things went well, but unlike any normal relations, you cant be beside her, you cant see her, so there's downside to that. What's worse is how much it hurts.

Now that everything's over, we're still keeping in touch for almost 2 years as friends. Which is how, I came to raelize that love can come from online relation as well.

Personally, I still say that Online relation is dangerous, as you never know how your opposition is. But it might be best to avoid it's still pretty dangerous.

Good luck!

erm..my story a bit different, sorry if it's out of topic ya, just to share my experience :). It's about my first blind-date (online)

@ 1st he approach me through email..he said he got my email through forwarding email list name..but the truth is he got my email from one of my frens(this secret only reveal after we declare as a couple)

at first, i kind of 'bolayan' this guy, coz I dont like talking to stranger, I used to scold him, everytime he email me..but he keep trying..at last I agreed to be his friends..after about 3-4 months. Then we became friend through email only, we never exchange picture, phone number, YM or wutsoever..

After sharing lot of things (idea, interest, dislike, story), we became closer and closer each day..Until one day after almost 1/2 year became friend, he asked my contact no. At that time I kind of start to trust him, so I gave him my phone No. Friendship remain at that time, but I guess there's something inside our heart..dup dap dup dap :)

After 1 year, he asked 4 a date,at that time I wasn't ready yet, but my friend said I should just go..gamble je la..Then I agree to go on a 'date' with him.

the funny thing happens here, I was waiting 4 him at Mc'D..then suddenly he said he was there already, so I spot one guy who was entering into Mc'D at that time and "Oh my God"...I was shocked at that time(remember, I never saw his picture/face before)..that guy really scary..wearing this kind of 'Mafia' thing all over his body, he also got pierce on his nose and ear..I'm so scared at that time and I quickly change my hp mode to 'SILENT MODE', and pretending to read my magazine..That guy seems looking for someone and keep calling someone with his handphone. Then I saw him went out from Mc'D..U dont know how relief I am at that time..but wut should i do..his character's scaring me!

After 3-5 minutes later, he SMS me, and said that he just came and waiting 4 me at one of McD's table..I've spot a wrong guy, and my guy's wearing normal guys outfit..hehe..
I still remember he's wearing a black slack with brown shirt.. simple and smart..:)
That was my experience with my 1st blind date through internet, and he's actually my 1st love..and now, thank God, it's our 5th year 'in a relationship'..maybe next year we will end our 'in relationship' to 'Married' :)

my advice is..dating online could be dangerous, so be carefull..don't simply trust people you don't really know well..

WOT, interesting discovery in your offline pic...

easy for u to say it, Nicole.
u r above average looking girl.
so easy 2 get guyz.

u can live fast, do crzay things.
then when u wan2 settle down, just get a rich guy.

kenny's comment is more realistic n more common sense.

I would agree with u...

Nowdays it become a trend meeting people online & dating online and heard alot many successful couple meet online & happily married in the end but at the same time some people do cheated by the person they met online..

However, the point is the world has changes towards full of technologies, even small kid know how to chat online..although some traditional ways still works (meeting dates not from internet) but someday, the new way definitely will conquer the old way..Y so?

1) People tend to get comfortable when they chat without meeting face to face without showing their 'real face'

2) Meeting online - chances to meet more people & different kind of people than meet real people face to face...E.g. u might get interested with someone after u read their blog...

3) Whether the people ugly or not they will meeting each other one day if they decide to get together, which mean after they had put their 1/2 heart to someone they meet online. But when the people meet face to face, they might just run away from the 1st place so chances are really slim..

4) Is all about communication..people tend to communicate better when do online chatting...

5) And yet, dating also depend on fate whether u meet someone online or offline

But, to meet someone u know from online, make sure u know how to react properly when things go wrong...BE safe rather BE sorry to urself..

Oh well, i don't know whether it make sense or not..But as for my experiences.. I did met someone good or bad in both ways (online & offline) but I wouldn't disagree that online dating is the way to the future..

you've been spam-ed. remove those comments lah. so painful to read.

Ok, here's a story of mine. I have this male friend, he don't really look ugly, just that, he's kinda playful.

Then one day, he told me something about him participating in online dates. He then show me some of the detail about the female side. but then again, no photos are included in this chatting.

After a few days later, one of my best friend which is a female and she is damn gorgeous, show me something about online dating, and the guy she was chatting online..is my friend who i first talk about. This is because i remembered the nickname.

Then i started laughing and i think it's best i don't get involve in this. At the end, i didn't let them know about it.

One week after that, they decided to meet each other. They said that they would wear orange and meet up in some place. But..something went wrong here, both side asked someone else to replace themselves. Both of them cheated another person to replace them during the meet up and both of them would hide at the side observing who is the guy or girl they had chat online. But they ended up seeing the wrong person.

I guess this couple would become a great couple if they just have to be honest about themselves. It would be perfect if they didn't go cheating each other. For online daters..try to be honest instead of cheating. That might make online dating successful.

This is a true story:

Few years back, when I am still in Uni, I meet this girl through ICQ. Being single and innocent at the time, I was very curious about relationship. Chatted over the net for few weeks before we start to talk on the phone. For those wondering, no, she is not 'the one', you gotta read on.

One single day, she say I am too nice to her and she cant lie to me anymore. All the name, phone num and pics are fake. She took the name from the neighbour whom she used the phone num to talk and online. My world seem crushed, every single thing is a lie? She say she is going to move out soon.

I called the phone (house phone) again next morning just to hear an auntie pick up the phone. Few days later, another girl added me into her ICQ. She mention she searched me through the directory. While browsing through my details in ICQ, she said my num seem familiar. She checked her phone's caller id and yes, my number was in it.

Totally shocked by then, I later learn the truth that she was the neighbour. What a coincidence. This girl later happen to be my ex-girlfriend for 2 years.

I still believe love can be found through the net. It is a place one can truly express his/her inner self. Thanks for reading.

This story might be unbelievable to a lot of people, but it's as true as it can be and I want to share this online dating experience with everyone who reads this. With that, I begin the story of how I met my ex girlfriend.

I guess it's normal for a guy to indulge in online games; I remember vividly that I was actually playing an online game named ragnarok at that time - 3 years back. It was during that time that I got to know this girl( or so she claimed to be) in that game! It was unbelievable back then but heck, it was all for the fun of it. And so it goes on for a couple of months, we remain online friends but we dont know each other well.

It was this fateful wednesday night , i still remember i went out to a cybercafe to play as my line's slow for guildwar. As i was happily chatting away with the girl online inside the game, i noticed the girl next to me kept on giggling whenever i typed in something funny. I was bothered and annoyed because I thought she peeked. Then I peeked. What came next's so unbelievable that I could not believe my eyes!

I saw my own character there, except that I was not controlling it. It took me awhile to realize that she's the girl that i've been talking to, albeit online, all these while. She looked at me, looked at my screen, took awhile and laugh. In fact we both did.

We never looked back from there; I am not goodlooking or rich or whatsoever but she accepted who I am.

When she has to move to another state, I was heartbroken but the break up is mutual. We're still good friends till now.

I guess that's the story of my online dating experience-well, it's not really dating but, I guess I need to type it out.

Are u saying tht this "online dating" behaviour ought to be encouraged? That is so very stupid of you. What might happen if the 2 people really meet up and the girl gets raped or something? This is by far your worst post and with this, you may have given many single people false hopes.

In fairness to Nicole, whether meeting people from clubs or meeting people from online forums aren't totally different - you still need to do your due dilligence and know who you are dating, if you intend to date.

To verify if someone is for real or otherwise isn't really too dificult - also thanks to the advent of internet. If he tells you something about himself or states something in in profile; you can always google his name or whatever to see if there are any hits.

This isn't foolproof - but neither is a name card that someone hands to you in a bar. If at days' end - your gut tells you that this is a "weirdo", it's best to listen instead of thinking: oh, but he's so sweet to me.

Also,what you wouldn't do with new acquaintances, you also don't do with your online friend. It's a matter of common sense. Take precautions and use your brain. If you go in a big group of male/female friends when meeting a person for the first time in a very public place - possibility of untoward incidences happening is near zero.

Online dating is but another avenue. It isn't about hope, or luck. If you are not attractive (personality or/and looks) in person - the virtual space can't do miracles for you either, just delay the effects.

Hey Nicole,

I bet you already know my story haha....Bf from Scotland and me from Malaysia. Met each other when i was 14 and him 15....emailed everyday and sent each other letters and gifts, good friends then....for 8 years and finally met in Melbourne in person. He took on a one year tourist visa to Melbourne as i was studying there, to get to know me in person blah blah....Hooked up and been together ever since. Encountered some cultural differences in the way we think but everythings ok now haha....so when r u gonna meet urs?:p

When I was 17 I became depressed but found the internet to be a welcome escape. I discovered that I could make up my own identity and no one knew about my past or cared how I looked. I was spending so much time meeting guys on the internet that my parents expressed concern about what I was doing on the computer for so long. I lied about what I was doing and started going online when parents wouldn’t know.

One Saturday while my parents were away I spent 8 hours straight on the internet! I continually met more and more people and talked on the phone with some of them as well. Over time, real people became less appealing to me and all I wanted to do was to talk to my net friends. They seemed much more interesting to me and pretending to be someone else was more exciting than being myself.

I got so involved with this one guy I met on the internet that we decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend. I went to visit my cousin in Kuala Lumpur and since he lived nearby, we decided to meet each other. We set a time and a place, and I found myself waiting and waiting. He never showed up. I tried emailing, calling and chatting with him, but he never replied and completely ignored me.

As years went by, I realize that this was probably the grace of God, since he could have been a murderer or a rapist. I really had no way of knowing anything about his character. He played with my feelings and my heart and that was enough for me to do a reality check!

In an internet relationship you only get to see the good things the other person wants you to see. In real relationships, you see the whole package – the good, the bad and the ugly. You don’t have to wait until “HE” signs on to his computer to get a message to Him. You don’t have to keep checking emails to see if He sent you a message.

After this hurtful experience and reading horror stories in the newspapers with regards to rape cases due to internet dating, I suggest that when you long for a relationship intimacy and connection, don’t get virtual……get real!

pohlin84@hotmail.com

i will stick to better to be save than sorry policy.
knowing a person in real life doesnt even mean u know the whole and actual truth about tat person wat say online. there are chances wat u kno about him/her online might b all lies. somemore lately so many paedophiles.
i have nothing agaisnt chatting o making friends online but to meet up and all i got no guts lor.
i choose to know the person in real life. at least wat u see on the appearance is true rather than a pic online tat he/she might photoshop-ed o tat might not even b the real pic.
somemore if tat person has really good qualities and personalities why need match.com than rite?

babalian_gal@hotmail.com

OK this may sound cheesy but I actually met my bf online. I am sure you all heard of this site called Myspace. I am such an Internet junkie that one day I just signed up for an account. I was browsing thru some list of people and I came upon this person. Lets call him J. I was talking to J for 2 months and one day J's room mate, let's call him D, was using J's computer. Prior to all this J's other room mates I have spoke to them for a bit were all bunch of idiots and when I was IM-ing J and D was on J's computer I thought, great more of J's idiotic room mates. But it turned out that D was really great to talk to. I ended up taling to D for hours at some point to talking to him everyday. So we talked for months and until one day I dunno how he said he would pay for my plane ticket to go see him in Washington. So last October I hoped on a plane to meet this guy I have not met in person before in my entire life. After a month there, things were great and now we have been dating for over a year doing long distance relationship. So far he has come to see me twice here already. So boys and girls, sometimes meeting your other half online does work. For some people.

frack_cart@yahoo.com

too much of unsuccesful stories came to my ears bout this online dating thingy.
the recent one is one of my fren went out wid a guy she meet thru internet.he finds her pic(face shot) very attractive and he persued her for a while.finally she decided to give the guy a try.after the first date the guy stop contacting her and left the gal wondering.
not too long after tat she bumped into the guy in a shooping complex wid another gal.den she confronted him.he say he never expected her to be so fat and short.so called just not his cup of tea.like WTH??
besides tat i heard lots of bad news.

To me all the are not really practical n realistic as they created sure hope for ppl tat find hope.on top of tat,the expectation some time is too high and it brings lots of dissapointment!!
i would prefer to date someone tat i know his character n personality rather than thru his pic.den wat is the difference between blind date they used to have during our grandparent era rite?


beautylover_qb@hotmail.com

Online dating is just another mode of match making compare to olden days. Match making is where this friend of your mum know that there is this guy from who and who's family is from good background and yada yada....

The worst thing are there are those who don't know each other and ended up marrying each other from the familly arrangement. Some may ended in good marriage some may not...

Similar to online dating it is just another mode. When meeting with a stranger, please do take extra precaution to prevent being ended in some incidents and situation that you may want.

There are some success stories as well, my cousin sis met her husband through icq before marrying. They chatted online forabout 1/2 a year before really meeting up. To date, they have a 1 year old toddler and another soon in March.
Another friend of mine in Singapore who knew her husband thru the net and they married after 3 months of dating!!! They are still very much happy with their life after 2002...

So it's all depends on the motive the person have when they go online dating. One have to be genuine, but at the same time be extremely careful as there are a lot of perverts and losers who are looking for cheap thrill as well. Sometimes, it is better not to look for the "love" relationship too desperately and it will come looking for you without you know it...


To conclude this, I'm not against on line dating. Just becareful when you do meet!!!

andiecsp@hotmail.com

Online dating? Not my cup of coffee. What's next? Online match-making? Oh, they exist already. Erm, online marriage? Hahaha!!! Forget match.com. Ignore justsayhi.com. Skip make-a-friend.org. Friendster, MySpace, Facebook, mIRC, ICQ, what-nots are for teenagers.

Why find so much trouble? Those sites require you to sign up, fill in some forms, some even need you to pay a sum of fee for their service, yadda yadda yadda. Why not use weblog instead? Popularly known as BLOG, weblog has indirectly become a medium for online dating.

I am speaking, I mean typing, from my personal experience. Earlier this year, I frequented kennysia.com chatbox for casual chat with strangers (as well as promoting my small fry blog, haha!) Thanks to kennysia.com, I met him. We chatted for a while before continue chatting live on Skype. I was impressed with the way he talked.

When I was on transit in KL to go back to Sarawak, we decided to meet up for the very first time. We clicked so well as if we had known each other for ages. I presented him some Ferero Rochers as an early Valentine's Day gift (which he has not eaten even until today). We kept in touch every day after that. Then on Valentine's Day, he ordered a bouquet of 6 roses with a box of chocolate to be sent to my resident in Sarawak. I was deeply touched.

About a month later, we were officially together and is still very much together now (we just celebrated our 8-month togetherness a few days ago). As he is working in KL and I am studying in Kedah, our relationship relies very much on the internet. Hence, a whole new definition of online dating. LOL!

Yes, we heard a lot about people who met their better half through the internet, be it forum, chat rooms, Friendster, etc. But let me tell you something. Blogs will, if not already, become a medium for online dating. My case, according to Kenny Sia, is the second one happening in his blog, i.e. chatbox. There were a few couples pairing up in Timothy's blog as well.

There, blog is your new online dating service without much of the service. This proves that online dating is possible and is on its way to the future. =)

(clarenic19@yahoo.com)

Online date sites is an alternative to meeting new people as oppose to going all the way to chat up women in noisy clubs, brave through her circle of friends or guy friends just to get her attention, meeting through a friend of a friend of another friend, etc etc etc

An introvert would panic at the thought of going thru it all and probably will get him perspiring heavily and blurt out words you didn't mean to say when standing in front of someone hot!

To me, although its online, I came think of it as one to one interaction with nothing blaring in the background and no distraction. Also it serves as a medium to size up a person or even to know a person more intimately. You must be thinking, Yeah right! But wait, hear me out first! There is a flow to this!

Although I have yet to hook up with anyone, i've made several close friends instead.

Go to a certain date site and click on thumbnails of women who are appealing to you.

From what she writes on her "about me" or "i'd like to meet" one can tell how well she carries herself or how well converse with anyone.

If she wrote something like "I veli cute, i like 2 smile all time, nice 2 meat you, hope you can bring me happiness blah blah blah" in her "about me"

Or "guys who cute, handsom, rich, buy me gifts, have heavy balls" in her "i'd like to meet"

then look the other way unless you hate yourself.

After a few exchanges of messages and eventually IM ID too, this is where the fun begins!

You get to know the person better by chatting through IM. This is why the next filtration begins. Through chatting you'd know her better based on how well she carries a conversation, how witty, humourous, sporting or outrageous.

Just how do I authenticate if she is the person in the picture?

1) If her dimensions are way to good to be true in special areas or features that only human can mold, chances are you are viewing a celebrity anonymous to us.

2) Go thru her friendster or facebook profile (if she is willing to give you an email address to search for it) and read her testimonials. If all you read is "pretty girl, thanks 4 the add, i so happy to be you friend!" instead of "I only met this girl when she accidently threw an egg at me" then you should be relieved.

3) Best of all! Webcam!

After all the long hours of chats and all validations have been, she'd be more than comfortable to meet in a public places.

Just imagine, upon meeting her, you know what to talk to her about and how to talk to her.

If you fancy her, she'll agree to meet you at cosy romantic place of yours and her choice, order her favorite wine and food that she mentioned or hinted in one of her chat session.

hysteria81@hotmail.com

When the Internet first developed, its sole purpose was for use in military network and strike coordination. No one knew what it would become 3 decades later. From its military development to today’s online dating. Cool, isn’t it? As the term internet suggests it's all about inter-networking. This is one of humanity’s best inventions. From such advance stand point to such humble purpose, online dating.

With regards to online dating, all of us have our own views on the good and bad. With the recent rise of crime rate, some of which involved the use of internet as a tool, many of us are skeptical about online dating. But let’s put aside the bad things for now. I remember back in the old days, before ICQ and MSN were even invented, MIRC was the most wanted and happening tool available. I made friends with Sandy who lives half way across the globe. We did what normal pen pals do, writing about our daily lives and nothing too personal. But as we email each other more, we became attached. We would check our mailbox each day hoping to receive an email from each other. Being geographically apart and not knowing the other party in person does help in the sense that we feel more comfortable and open with our thoughts and feelings. You feel safe to share your problem and issues. We tend to be more truthful in out thoughts, and well, to some putting your thoughts and feelings into words is much easier then expressing it to a real life person in front of you. No sense of embarrassment or pride. Such openness later led us to a sense of emotional attachment; we were “in love”. How could that be? Psychologist would tell you, guys are visual beings; his feelings are much more easily “activated” by visual stimulant than thoughts put into words. But then, the internet works wonders. We developed trust and an emotional attachment where looks doesn’t really matter that much. We only exchanged photos after we were aware of this and confessed our feelings towards each other. Now that’s the good side of it.

And the bad? The internet is a great tool for scams! In real life, a player can easily be recognized by his behavior. On the net, he could be anybody. A new identity can be used every time he strikes. It reminds us of that childhood story, The Little Red Riding Hood. A wolf that disguised himself to gain the little girl’s trust and waiting for the right moment to strike. No one knows who he really is. As the female species are emotionally triggered beings, unlike their male counterparts for whom visual does wonders, girls are much easier targets in this medium. With the careful use of words at the right time, he can easily gain the girl's trust. If one is not careful, one could be lured into trap. Aside from being totally open and truthful, it can be the complete opposite. How can we tell?

Conscience. We all have this. Being able to feel what’s right or wrong. It may not always be the most accurate but it does help.

Play it smart and be patient. Take time to get to know the person. Be alert and cautious of the things he tells you. Cross check with your friends whether they know of the person. If possible, check where he works and the kind of friends he hangs out with. No harm chatting with him using a different nick and identity just so you have an idea whether he say the same things about himself to every girl or he changes it to fit the situation to gain the girl's confidence. Don’t expose your emotional weakness. Don’t expose your requirement on the qualities you look for in a man. The more he knows this, the more advantages he'll have over you. “A good predator know its prey well”. Read and analyze every line he says to you. Put yourself in his shoes and think, “What would I do if I want to win a girl’s heart?” Don’t rush into things. Time will help each other to develop trust. If he is genuine, he will wait. If he’s playing, he would want to speed things up. He'll pester for pictures and initiate meet ups real quick. It's always safer to bring a friend along when meeting up. To make him feel comfortable, invite him to bring along his friends as well. Meet at a crowded place for security and safety purposes. Inform your friends or family about your meeting. Play it smart and creative!

In summary, online dating does work wonders. They are many people who have developed successful relationships from this and vice versa. At the end of the day, it all depends on how you want to look at it. Ask yourself, are you willing to try this method? Are you for real or just doing it for fun? Some may call it match making while others deem it a tool for the desperate. What ever it’s called, we get to choose.


andy@andykho.com

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