Anger engulfs me
It is this anger that I cannot withstand any longer. I feel that I want to shout and burst out.
Recently I have been a very angry person. So angry I don’t know where I can release this burning anxiety to kill someone now. I have not been this angry for a long time, and not this angry.
I’m not usually an angry person. I’m very easy-going most of the time.
But this case is just unbearable. It makes me want to slaughter all the useless men in the world. It makes me want to defend all the women in the world. It makes me so helpless and I want to gain this immense power to be god suddenly and punish those who deserved to be punished.
I’m not a feminist, never has been; I always like the idea of being the weaker gender. I like guys to treat me like the weaklings we are. But it is this moment that made me want to be an extremist in feminism; to advocate the right of being a woman and to teach each and every woman to stand up for herself.
There are times when one knows one has been stood beyond one's limit.
This is a story, a true story of a dear friend I hold close to. Someone I want to protect but seem powerless to help. Someone I care dearly if only I have the money and power, I will bring her away from her misery. She is a sweet, most temper-less, gorgeous, kind, intelligent and weak girl (been through several surgeries) I have ever met.
To her: “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this, but you are hurting yourself and you are hurting me. I hope you understand that I just want the best for you.”
To him: “you don’t farking have a decent SPM and you don’t even have your OWN career and you still stay with your mom, feel blessed you arsehole”
To all, this is written in Chinese. I will do a brief translation at the end. Some of the name callings have been changed to fit general viewing purposes.
The aim: I want to let all the females in the world know, there are times we have to stand up for ourselves, I want all the man to see clearly what a bastard some men out there can be. But most of all, I want her to know, I will not stop at this, I will not be quiet about this.
Note: any of the following that resembles real life synopsis is purely incidental
//the author asked to remove the original draft
Translation:
Diary of A Dear Friend
I write these things to keep as a diary.
There are no means to state who’s fault it is.
There are many things, even my “boyfriend” can’t empathize,
Being someone’s half daughter, my parent’s daughter…
When my mother in law (nicknamed XXX), said these words,
“Your mom don’t know how to teach you, let aunty teach you”
My husband too will think, my parents are at fault.
When XXX bullies me,
XXX and my husband both will think I’m at fault.
So,
My parents are wrong, I’m wrong;
Only they’re the righteous one.
I’ve been troubled for months,
Half a year to be exact,
Ever since the day we decided to get married…
The idea of marriage started since February this year (2007)
To be honest, I can’t recall how it's like anymore.
I know I’m not suppose to call her XXX,
But…
After so many incidents,
Referring her so is respecting her.
Cause, she has done a lot of things that has directly insulted my parents.
But in front of her , I took it in and never said a word.
And my husband is always at XXX’s side. Blaming me, and my family.
What’s my feeling?... I can’t really say I have feelings anymore.
On the wedding day, I know I was angry,
But what’s the reason behind my temper?...
We fought,
He responded with a sentence: “dun want to get married already!”
And left me alone in the room,
When I went down to find him,
He was eating noodle, and chatting with friends.
I was really angry.
Because X month XX day, my dad’s close friend,
One who helped me took photo of the wedding dinner, and wanted me to be his model.
He wanted to participate in a photography competition, so decided to take my wedding photos on XX day.
Everything was a go…
On XX day…
We were supposed to go for an outdoor shoot…
My “boyfriend” wasn’t being serious about it,
I waited in the restaurant for a long time,
He chatted outside for a long time…
The photographer waited outside for a long time…
In the end… the whole thing was cancelled!
XXX budged in too, “don’t take la don’t take la”
Ok, cancelled.
After that, two days ago, which is on XX month X day.
My sister came and tell me,
The photographer wasn’t very pleased that day,
For cancelling without informing.
Scolded my dad…
But my dad didn’t tell me anything
Coz he didn’t want to affect me.
So, it is my fault? My impulsive action?
Does anyone know that wearing wedding gown while pregnant is very tiring?
Difficult to breathe?
It is reasonable to say don’t get wedded just because of an argument?
And left me alone in the room to have lunch downstairs?
You said you wanted to bring my lunch to me, in the end?
……
Right, it’s my fault. I’m wrong.
I’m pregnant.
But everyday I have to help around doing house chores, help around the shop.
That day, I carried a very heavy pot, my tummy was hurting,
Affected the baby.
Even when I was sick, and feel like resting a bit more.
XXX will accuse, why am I always in the room?
That’s my life. Everyday accompany my husband..
At the shop, at home, play basketball…
Inhale second hand smoke everyday, no baby education.
When I was in University, I already tried not to mention any of these.
Everyday rushed up and down, even when I was ill, even I was pregnant, even when I was having exams…
I would happily go back to my hometown to accompany him.
Even when I was pregnant, I kept it in not telling anyone..
In the end, the one being insulted is me, my family.
They, are right in everything.
I made the wrong choice.
But I can’t turn back.
Whatever XXX said is correct.
Few days, months before my marriage.
Arguments broke out every single day…
My parents are the ones suffering my “misdeeds”
I did regret, really.
But I still believe in my choice.
Even when I can’t stand it anymore and fainted at the bus stop; I still hold it in, everyday.
Because I always believe,
For every smile, there’s a hidden unknown secret lies beneath it.
On our wedding day, there are some who gave me a 0.
But I gave myself 90 out of 100.
I gave my parents: priceless
If a girl such as me, can let you - XXX gives the cold shoulder.
I want to know, who else you – XXX think, is fit to be your daughter in law.
To someone, I rather you marry your ex girlfriend whom your mother asked you to dump,
I also won’t marry you.
To my unborn child, mommy really don’t know what to say to you.
Because, I can’t even give you warmth and a decent family.
This is the second piece.
//the author asked to remove the original draft
Translation:
Maybe, I shouldn’t say much.
Maybe, there’s no use saying so much.
It’s every dog for himself. I understand.
I know that, when a girl, once married, is like water thrown out onto the street.
An incident happened few days ago that I can only wish to forget for the rest of my life.
Supposingly arguments, to me, are like taking daily meals. Maybe I’m used to tears.
But few days ago, I started to re-realize the unreasonable demands of XXX.
Today my parents have to hide in a corner to pass me some things, like thieves.
God, who am I? Am I still my parents’ daughter?
Few days ago, once closing the shop, we wanted to go out to have supper, as a couple.
Just when I was lying on my bed, “drying” nail polishes on my nails…
Suddenly, I was called down by my husband, the moment XXX saw me, she started scolding me.
Scolded me like I was a piece of shit.
Seems like she’s already been throwing her fumes for a while in the shop.
What is she angry about?
Some very small matters.
Even my parents’ names are involved…
One thing XXX best at, is directing at husband and say,
“You go change your surname become X! don’t be O! I don’t have a son like you!”
Okay~
Then husband will turn to me and say,
“If you want to leave, leave! If you want to stay, stay!”
When I heard this, I was stunned for a while, I really couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
I repeated my question to him.
“I said! You want to leave, then leave, want to stay then stay!!”
You don't even want your child?
Him: "It's your decision!! Your decision is none of my business!!!"
What did I do wrong?
Him: “My mom’s not happy”
Right, so you rather choose your mom, and abandon me and your child?
Him: “yes, this is me.”
Franky, I wanted to leave, I wanted to step out of the door and never come back.
Everytime XXX get angry, the following few weeks, my husband will treat me differently.
Everyday anytime him will scold me like I’m not a human.
I want to ask:
Did I marry you? Or did I marry your mom!!!
Did you marry me, or did you marry your mom!!!
These few days, I have been scolded by him without mercy every single day.
Everything because of XXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does my husband love me?
He loves his mom!!
I’m only a maid.
He has a disease! Called “Mummy’s Boy”!!!
I really regret, I fell in love with a guy of no guts!!
I said all these here (in her diary), maybe he will feel hurt.
But the way he treats me, don’t I feel hurt?
My parents do not know all these things; do I have to endure this for life?
I want to leave, to leave forever.
I, now, strongly agree on living together before marriage, why?
I rather suffer a bit of “losses” as a woman before marriage, than to regret after marriage!!!
These few days, I spent my days in tears. I want to die, to leave this world.
I mean it.
To be treated so by her own husband, which woman wouldn’t want to die.
One that’s constantly being controlled by XXX, what use did I marry him for?
I regret, I regret that only after marriage did I see the truth.
I always thought he would change after marriage, turned out all efforts are futile.
Don’t even expect that after giving birth, he would change to love me or his own family.
He rather give up me and his child, than to disobey XXX.
This is him.
He’s a good friend.
He’s also good boyfriend.
But as a husband, as a father,
I hold no opinions or comments.
Because even if I say more, no one will understand.
Unless someone has met a mummy’s boy, they won’t be able to understand how I feel.
Unless someone has interact with XXX, only to feel my pain.
Really want to leave this world, to run away with my child to the moon.
The most painful part, is that my parents have to suffer the same as I do.
Never mind if I suffer alone, the most most hurtful feeling, is that I have hurt my parents.
I used to think my family never gave me the home-y feeling.
Only after I left, did I realize that the only place warm and fuzzy, is my home.
XXX can be angry because of
Small tiny matters, and be picky about it.
My tummy is getting bigger, it gets harder to move about. Sometimes I can’t even breathe. This is due to low blood.
Still, as-a-matter-of-factly, I will go to help out in the shop. Never did I complain.
Still, she will pick out all these tiny details that I do and criticize.
I have to inhale second-hand smoke everyday, XXX don’t see a problem in this.
That day, when I fainted in the shop, my whole body was paralyzed; with little consciousness remained.
I wanted to say something, but nothing came out. I can’t feel the baby inside me.
My husband was scolding me furiously still. I didn’t have the strength to fight back.
But the most reluctant part,
Was that, without being able to control it, urine flow out of my lower body.
It was really embarrassing, I wanted to say it out, so I could feel better.
I’m not afraid that other people might laugh, because my heart is already cold hard as steel.
Long time ago, my husband might have loved me.
But in the presense of XXX and his sister, even his maid,
I’m always the one to stand last in line, even below the maid.
I might appear happy on the outside.
Maybe if I don’t say, no one in the world will know this matter.
I want to leave, to leave him.
To leave a useless man such as he.
He can sacrifice his own child and wife, to please XXX.
Else when he’s not pleased,
He will directly call my father to come and pick me up and drive me back to my home.
Is he still a man?
Is there any man out there can be more despicable than this????
I rather be a single mother.
I rather support a family single handedly.
Leave, just leave.
I know I should be doing this.
But when can I leave? Where can I go?
When? When?
I would like to highlight, the first time she wanted to break up, the “husband” called all his “brothers” to gather in front of her house, threatening to burn her house.
FARK!! Is this still a man? If I have a scissor, I would cut up his dick and feed it to the dogs! If you are a man, be a man and keep your lady the real way, not by force you pathetic creature with no balls!!! You don’t even farking have a JOB!! Mommy’s little shop helper!
Dear, if you read this from wherever you are, be strong. There are a lot of people out there who are willing to help. As long as you extend your hand out and let people help. Please be strong. I’m here. Go to the police, I will accompany you, if only you voice it out.
*update* //author requested to have photo removed
154 kissed Nicole
i am so pity with this girl....Girls out there, please don't let guy touch ur body or F you before you see the real side of the guy u wan to stay with. Please la....always see the girls get pregnant and forced to get married. Control urself la....control them...don let them touch you..... Later regret forever...
ReplyDeleteI totally support in chopping his dick off... Too bad law does not do justice to such garbage in life... I always say "life is how you see it"... Seems like it can never apply in such situation... Don't think that you should still suck in when given such treament... Staying with him won't give the kid a better home compared to single motherhood... After going through so much, I think the kid would be much better off with just you... Cos I believe you would love the child more after going thru all these...
ReplyDeleteHope that the best things in life will all go to you soon... Best wishes to you...
It'll be my great pleasure to lend you the pair of scissors.
ReplyDeleteNicole, stay strong, my prayers are with your friend. Unfortunately all you can do is support her, give her a shoulder to cry on, listen to her, and watch out for her until she decides on her own what she wants to do.
ReplyDeleteDamn asian society and it's conservatism. Her parents need to know about this if they don't already - their support (a place to stay and no disapproval of single motherhood) if they are willing to risk having people point the finger at them - will help her with her decision. This is just my feeling from reading your post, that she's more worried about her family being hurt than she is about herself. She seems to have given up.
A lawyer needs to get involved before the police are. A child will not be happy in this marriage, if it has not already been harmed while in the womb.
Love is blind, that's what friends are for, to be your eyes when you can't see.
Hugs.
Stay strong and continue supporting your friend. It is men like this that give us a bad name.
ReplyDeleteLove is blind - but abuse isn't. Get help for her.
Sounds like heart-to-heart talk for her and her husband is not easy. Should try though.
ReplyDeleteAnd most importantly I wanna say something about this statement;
[ I made the wrong choice.
But I can’t turn back. ]
True that we can't turn back the clock. But life is not entirely determined by a single choice. Definitely not in this case. Remember, CHOICES!!! And plenty more choices for her to make and they MATTER MORE than those already made.
At time like this, it's important to let head rule over heart/emotion.
what the hell.... what a son of a bitch...literally -_- ... i know some people treat their gf differently(more sarcasm?) after getting married but this is just retarded...what kind of man is this -.- what kind of mom is that =.= ...i think she would need a lawyer and help from police or something since that ass of a husband has his 'budak-budak' to help him -.-
ReplyDeleteI ended my marriage of less than one year. It is THE BEST decision of my entire life. Contracted STD frm the fucker, his parents fucked up my wedding day. LEAVE. Fuck what people say, fuck the relatives, fuck the stigma. It is YOUR happiness that matters. If you can handle it, give the child up for adoption. Get a job. Im struggling now, but Im surviving. And the best part, I have found The One. When I least expected it. Tell her to have faith. You are not alone.
ReplyDeletePoor girl....She is so pity...Bless your fren~~~
ReplyDeleteNicole, I understand your anger. It's all for her wellbeing. Please let her know that it takes more strength and courage to walk away from her mistake-marriage than to stay and cope with it. For her unborn child's sake and her own future, its best to walk away now no matter how tough it may be.
ReplyDeletei can't help it but to fuck that guy up..
ReplyDeleteTo the Girl:
pity girl she is, i think to leave is the best. Don't have to suffer like this. Being single mother doesn't mean it's totally unwise. At least, everything is under your control and save some name for your own family. Please don't think of suicide, at least when you are, come here and read nicole's blog.
To the Guy:
what kind of ass whole is this? i don't think he even deserve a dick at all.
To the Girls out there:
girls, always aim for those guys that have potential to be your long life partner, that is, your husband. Enough fun you had with boys. But when it comes to marriage , please stop thinking of those "ah beng" in the street that you have no idea how he can please you. At least, look for one that is educated.
My mom suffered years of mental abuse too. But she stands up and luckily my dad is a good guy.
Nicole, the best thing that had ever happened to your fren is for you to care and concern of her plight.
ReplyDeleteI would seriously recommend that you accompany your friend to get some advice from counselling bodies out there like Befrienders or better still go to Michael Chong...which can definitely help your friend.
WE SHOULD NVR BOW TO VIOLENCE AND START TAKING PROACTIVE ACTION TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM THESE BRAINLESS SCUMS.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletemy god i really want to torture the guy.
ReplyDeleteas for the girl, run! get some help, i'd be willing to help, but she doesn't know me, but i'm sure alot of people will lend a helping hand to her.
no doubt about that.
It's really sad to hear that. I totally understand the mummy's boy bit. I realised alot of traditional asian family raises such boys (not to discriminate but its true). I even heard of the term "crazy asian mother-in-law"lolz.....to be honest, the mother in law does sound abit like my cousin's.....i can understand. It's tough. I think she should just leave the bloody useless husband. He doesnt deserve her and she's worthy to be loved.....Besides, it's not a good environment to raise the kid as well....If i were her, i would have left long time ago....not for my sake, but also for the kid's
ReplyDeleteGet professional help
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wao.org.my/
As for the punks, they are just annoying pests. Take measures to counter the threats. Never let them affect the decisions to be made.
for god's sake
ReplyDeleteis that a man??
can't believe such as*hole exist
hope ur fren can be strong..
nicole's friend.
ReplyDeletebe strong.
-Luke
sadly, there are STILL "stupid" (sorry i just have to say out the word) girls like this out there, suffering silently with no one to turn to. it's a lil too late to whom to point the finger to when rice has turned into porridge, what matters now is the future, of the baby and also herself. with husband and MIL like this, it's impossible one can endure this for the rest of her life.
ReplyDeletemove on, for at the end of the rainbow, u might eventually find your pot of gold where happiness awaits you.
god bless~
Do what's best for yourself and the baby. You think you can tahan all these bullshit but the baby can't. Opt to give yourself and the baby a better life. Seriously, stop hesitating.
ReplyDeletei am a guy, and i feel so ashame to hear there is this kinda bastard around,
ReplyDeleteif i got a chance i am willing to help too !
for equality
wth. i am a guy. i dun recognise him being of the same sex as me.
ReplyDeletede husband n hes mother hav no conscience or compassion.
pls, get your frien out or sth. the baby is better of w/o such a family.
the wife derserves a better life
XXX is pure evil! =.= and the guy's such a wimp!
ReplyDeleteDa** that guy!! I hope in his after life he burn in hell. or even better. Can go there now! why oh why are they such ppl on earth?! ARGH!! i****! b******!! uttterly disgusting!! Nicole & fren, i'm with u all the way!! And Nicole, your fren will always be in my prayers. I pray that both she n her child will hav a better life after all this nightmare is over. Don be afraid to tell the truth..
ReplyDeleteNicole, i'm proud & happy that u tell this to the world. A great woman u are! And u are very brave too. I suggest u hire a bodyguard tho cos if that guy does find out u blog bout this... oh, i'm afraid of wat might happen to u. pls, DO Take care, be careful and All the best to u & yr fren & baby.
And tell yr fren, that guy is so not worth her life. She's worth miliion times better than him. Tell her to stay positive. (tho i'm sure u've done that already) With a fren like u by her side, she'll soon be alright.. :)
ReplyDeleteyour friend is still aware of her situation...if this issue continue i think she'll commit suicide...
ReplyDeleteher husband is a nice guy but too bad he's not rational enough. i do encourage her to talk to his friend. pursued tat they stay in a seperate house.....divorce is not a gd solution aft all she's pregnant...
wish her all d best!
dear nicole, before your friend or her family gets seriously harmed (both mentally and physically) - please do more than just blog about it. It's no laughing matter that your friend is literally crying out for help.
ReplyDeleteIt's great for her that she has friends like you, but really, you need to do more. Am really afraid you friend might think of doing the unthinkable.
There's only so much that a person can say. Ultimately it's up to her. Wanting to do something and doing it are two different things. I hope that she can find the strength in her to do what she should do.
ReplyDeleteThere's only so much that a person can say. Ultimately it's up to her. Wanting to do something and doing it are two different things. I hope that she can find the strength in her to do what she should do.
ReplyDeleteShe already know this guy is not a good father yet the choice taken is to marry him and to be with him. There are so many nice guys out there but choose to be with him. I just dont get it. Do girls always fall for bad guys and nice guys always stays single? Let her bear the consequences. Nicole, you cant help her. She CHOOSE her life tat way.
ReplyDeleteanger runs through all my veins. OMG.. Hope ur friend can stand up and be strong to fight back with XXX. THe husband and the brothers want to burn her house? BURN THEM BACK. LOL jks. Get the police. be strong. tc~
ReplyDeleteNow, no censorship here. All I have to say is this guy is a fucking disgrace to mankind. For god's sake, can't he even fucking make out who is right and who is wrong here? Judging from that kinda attitude and mentality, I don't foresee this guy to be anywhere near success in the future. NO WAY!
ReplyDeleteNicole, to your dear girl friend, if she wants to leave, just ask her to leave. I don't see this marriage going anywhere. Don't be afraid of her husband. I hope she is alright.
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ReplyDeletei also have a XXX in my life.
ReplyDeleteits so difficult to pls everyone. the best person to pls is yourself, dun live your life for others
Ah Nicole,
ReplyDeleteIt is sad to know that your friend has married into a hooligan family,
many have opted to leave, but it is not the right option to leave yet...
It is her marriage, her choice, her path, help her and support her in building her respected existance in the home, she is young, and thus a lot of times, old people take for granted younger people need less respect, if it is difficult to build a respected character living in the same room, leave and start a new home with her husband, and see if the situation change...
I strongly belive that marriage is for better or worse, it is a very powerful vow...
Hope your friend solve the situation and not get into the situation anymore...
Good luck,
Best Wishes
Chubby Chin
Walau like this also can!!! This kind of man better die...!!!! Memalukan we all guys here!!! Haiz.. nicole, hope your fren stay strong and able to survive this hardship... !!! May she and her child happy in the future...
ReplyDeletePeople, please look at yourself comments, 90% of the time is to divorce, to kill, to hurt or to insult...
ReplyDeleteSurely there is no happiness in these attitute, arguments leads to arguments, fights leads to fights, there is no end...
It is best for the child to have a father and a wholesome family, please stop to advise the ultimate disaster for the unborn child...
It is an image of how we will resort to if the same situation happens to us, it seems most of us like to have a divorce imediately...True?...
Ponder for a while on this situation...
Best regards,
Chubby Chin
i hope the girl can be strong. wish her all the best. feel so sad she needs to go through all this.
ReplyDeletewow...gosh, I'm so angry right now that I'm absolutely speechless.
ReplyDeleteI hope she finds someone else who deserves her, and for that guy, I hope he burns in hell for treating a girl like that. Someone like him with no common sense should just..urgh..you get the point!
omg im angry now too!!!
ReplyDeletewhat an asshole.
to the girl: i admire your courage, and strength. but my dear, if it gets too much, perhaps it is time to think of the bigger picture and the long run...leave the guy, it won't be the end of the world. think of your own sanity, and of your baby's happiness. will he/she be happy if he/she were to grow up in a world whereby his/her mother is treated like scum? and his/her father is such a useless man with no backbone whatsoever? it won't be easy at first, nothing ever is...but you will have the support of your friends, like nicole!, and your parents...and you will rise above this, and be happier in the long run. LEAVE, my dear, LEAVE. good luck!
Lets predict the baby's future...
ReplyDelete1, grow up as a hate monster as mother and friends influence baby's mind set, one day could end up stabbing father to death...
2, grow up as 2nd class child, as mother marries another man and have babies of their own, new father put money and resources to his own childern first...
3, given away, as mother also do not wish to burden herself...
4, mommy works her butt off as a single parent and baby grow up in somekind of an institution cell...
5, end up like the 3 year old Penang girl who got drowned and burnt up by mommy's new boyfriend...
Yeah, there are alot more possibilities for the baby, but which one do we wish for the baby to be?...interesting...
To the girl:You are indeed in need of serious help, be it professional or not.DO NOT keep it to yourself any longer, for it will only damage you and your child.It is afterall your life, and your fate is in your own hands.If worse comes to worst, I wouldn't mind lending a hand.
ReplyDeleteTo the guy:Fark off you good-for-nothing-mother-farking-son-of-a-bitch.You are seriously a disgrace to mankind.I never knew such low creatures exist, until I read Nicole's blog.Hope you get raped to death by a thousand gay men.
To the girl:You are indeed in need of serious help, be it professional or not.DO NOT keep it to yourself any longer, for it will only damage you and your child.It is afterall your life, and your fate is in your own hands.If worse comes to worst, I wouldn't mind lending a hand.
ReplyDeleteTo the guy:Fark off you good-for-nothing-mother-farking-son-of-a-bitch.You are seriously a disgrace to mankind.I never knew such low creatures exist, until I read Nicole's blog.Hope you get raped to death by a thousand gay men.
the guy is such a failure! Nicole, get ur fren to leave the guy asap! She shall not worry abt where to go as she will hav support from her family and friends. Ask for help and allow ppl to help! All the best. Give a hug to her on behalf of me :)
ReplyDeletehey Nicole,
ReplyDeleteMaybe this organization might help in getting through to her, or at least might know some services that could help her?
www.wao.org.my
Hope that helps
I really hope that your friend stands up and says NO!!!!
ReplyDeleteI was at the brink of crying after reading. All my best wishes to her. It's not worth it over a useless piece of dick to put your dignity aside.
Best wishes.
what a disgrace to us man kind,i feel so ashamed that there are such man in this world, and worst of all, he's from same homwtown as me. Gosh. Just hope your friend would make the right choice and leave him. God blessed her and her baby. Curse her stupid husband, what a loser.
ReplyDeleteI do pity the girl,i guess she has to be strong to overcome this.I would recomment that she leaves this guy once and for all and start living her own life.Her family loves her more than anyone else.The lesson here is that every unplanned pregnancy and marriage will lead to disaster if you are not ready for it.This guy,from the act he did by threatening to burn down her house protrays so much about him.He's like the alang alang gangster kinda guy who thinks they are cool and influencing, but actually they are just a bunch of crap with no education and no money.I still wonder why girls ( especially young teenage girls ) still falls for this kind of "badboy".What do you think you will gain being with them? Will they give u a happy marriage and secure life? They may be able to give lots of little cheap presents or gifts just to take your heart away and then sleep with you, right? Even when you girls have sex with guys, we got to learn how to control ourself and play safe! Coz guys definately cant control themself.Think bout the future!Not just giving in to the guys everytime they ask for unprotected sex.
ReplyDeletePiff!I really despise guys with no education,low morallity and worse ah beng attitude.Get a life.
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteI sense your eagerness to help and protective nature kicking in. You are indeed a good friend, one whom many can rely on for help. Get help from the right resources, or organisation, or email me if you need some advice on organisations which can lend a helping hand. Be careful when dealing with such people, dont think they are rational nor ethical. I dont know how to do this, but let your friend know that it is not the baby's fault (she might reject the baby because of the father). Let not the poor innocent child have to suffer this ordeal, as they are fully aware of their surroundings, even in the womb.
Agree with what "Jacky Chin" said, lets not resort to violence and destruction. If we do, we are no better than her husband and his mom. Dont sow further anger and hatred into your friend, Nicole. Help and support her with love. Easy for me to say, I know, but as a reader, thats all I can offer. Hope you stay strong.
sli_ung79@yahoo.com
clearly, he is not very responsive over the marriage, even from the start during photography session. your friend had allowed the reason (baby) to lead her to this stage. maybe she can find someone whom love her and the baby more, from someone else instead ? who knows .. i have cousins and friends whom remarried and are wayyyyy happier. the choice is in her hand, IF she decides to.
ReplyDeleteThat is truly a sad story. I can't believe your friend is still with this scum. Any guy that doesn't know how to treat a lady is worthless. Yes I'm a guy too. She is strong I can tell you that, many would have left and I suggest she does the same too (and do it quickly!!!) Oh yeah I don't think the guy had the d*ck or the balls to burn her house. Get help from the authorities, get a restraining order from that bast*rd and please lock him up and throw away the keys for GOD's sake. She should publish his name everywhere and warn potential "victim" of this guys pathetic state of a husband and also his disgusting family. Aaah ... I feel a lil bit better right now. Seriously ... really seriously ... really really seriously. She HAS to leave the scum or else she and the unborn child will have a torrid time ahead. I don't believe this kind of guys will ever change and please don't trust any of those "I have turned a new leaf" story because scum like these NEVER change. I really hope she'll be ok ... and there are many societies that can help single parent and she'll be in great shape with a friend like Nicole :) *haha ass kisser huh?*
ReplyDeleteSee~there's no law to protect people like that.burning houses,threatening people.laws are to be broken.We're all left to protect ourselves.Girl,i advise u to seek for protection before taking any action.ur life might be in danger if u leave straight.not only urs...ur baby too.just leave msg in my blog if u need help.
ReplyDeleteI vote for:
ReplyDeleteDivorce and go to court to resort for 50% husband's wealth and monthly allowance. Then remarry a better guy.
anon,
ReplyDeleteThink first, husband has no moola lar, tat's why still living with mom...
Sincerely from
anon too...
I totally disagree with jacky chin,guess he never face any vicious man who doesn't give a damn about life.Jacky,there's a lot more things out there that u never seen before.continue with her marrige means death to her and her baby.and who will help her after that?you?I dun think so..
ReplyDeleteDear Anon,
ReplyDeleteEventhough her husband don't have Moolah, but his family got SHOP mah... anyway, monthly allowance is probably a higher chance if she can get a good lawyer. All the lawyer fee will be paid buy husband side. Good idea?
Anon 1
Jason Lee Chun Huat,
ReplyDeleteYou are only 20 Jason, and it seems that you claim u have a good understanding of the knowledge I have! Put it in respect, that's total ignorance man.
Things between a husband and wife are something outsiders are unable to understand, what would you know from the husband's point of view? Is he facing pressure too? We seem to asume he's a all can do superman, maybe he has his side of the story too...
The point here is not to have another divorce and to culture hatred, u seemed not to catch the idea very well, maybe u can help the girl to beat up the husband or the mommy huh?...then what?...
Good luck in your own future~
Best regards
Chubby Chin
anon 1,
ReplyDeletehehe, its like becoming a forum here, about men and women, i know some really bad run away fathers hor, no pay alimony one, mother put them in court and they pay 1-2 months then stop, then mother put them in court again, then again pay 1-2 months, the process repeats again and again lor~ Too suffering for the mother and child la~
Anon 2
No need to fight each other, everyone is freely giving out opinions regardless age. In modern age, alot of ppl lack of LOVE. In her journal, she is suffering mentally as well as physically (due to pregnancy).
ReplyDeleteShe needs a comfortable and healthy life too for her unborn baby. Remember, those people in her in-law family are smokers?? If anyone in a family with heart will never do such thing to a pregnant lady.
Jacky, since you don't allow Jason to give his comment, what is your solution? Keep quiet for the rest of her life?
anon2,
ReplyDeleteNo need to give up easily... fight for justice. woman should be independant and freely live her life. She is only in her twenties.. only quarter of her life, Why waste 3 quarters of her life living miserable?
anon1
anon,
ReplyDeleteRead~ Please read~ solution already given~
U r pretty negative asking her to keep quiet for the rest of her life~
Really son of the bitch ..hope the girl be strong & able to choose her life better
ReplyDelete我哭了。。。
ReplyDelete因为我妈妈就像你朋友一样。
唯一不同的是，当时我妈已经生了我，而我爸是有固定工作的，还有我妈的父母在他结婚之前就不在了。
我的阿妈就像 XXX 一样，老是爱欺负我妈，还有我爸的其他已婚的哥哥和弟弟老婆。
但是我们比较惨，因为我们住阿妈隔壁。
阿妈有事没事都回过来 kajiao.
但是每逢 big family gathering 的时候，都不会有我们的份，
因为在阿妈的眼里，只有她的孩子，其他人就不是别人的孩子。
当我妈跟我爸说的时候，
我爸都会骂她，说她莫名其妙，
说阿妈不是像妈妈所说的那样。
爸爸对阿妈，还有他兄弟姐妹的关心，
多过于对我妈，我，还有妹妹的关心。
他宁愿抽出时间来陪他的‘亲人‘ 多过于自己的‘家人’。
我小的时候他是这样，
我现在成年了，他还是这样。
只要有阿妈在的地方，就不会伦得到我们。
妈妈从以前常常会对我和妹妹诉苦，
但是爸爸的‘偶像’是阿妈，
我们做孩子的也不能多说什么，
因为我们也很怕爸爸。
其实爸爸并不是品行坏的人，
但是我觉得他被阿妈‘洗脑‘过了。
在养家方面，是做得很好。
但是除了养家，老爸似乎都是过着自己的生活。
我想在他的字典里，‘家人’只不过是一起住，每天会碰面的人而已吧。
我觉得我妈妈很坚强，很坚强。
但我想也是因为有我和妹妹，
她才能坚持这么多年。
也或许是因为长年累月的 routine,
所以，what doesn't kill her makes her stronger 吧？
经过20多年的训练，她现在刀枪不入了。
Rather out of point there. But there are similarities in which my mom was shocked by my dad and his family upon few months after their marraige and regretted her decision which by then she already had me.
Even if your friend decided to walk out on her husband, she still has her parents who'd definitely welcome her back. Somehow it'd probably take her some courage or encouragement to talk to her parents regarding these whole issue so that they'll understand her plight. She has been keeping quiet about it for so long, it definitely ain't easy to explain to her family.
Maybe her mom could give her advice or something. Maybe both families could sit down and talk things out. After all, I'm sure if your friend's dad knew about it, he'd be concern of her daughter's well being & happiness. 嫁女儿不是让女儿在男方家受苦的。
I hope your friend will speak to her parents soon and resolve the misery & agony soon. 父母不可能见死不救的。
1) The father is choosing to side his mum and ask his wife to leave with her unborn baby! is he a human?
ReplyDelete2) When the wife wanted to break with his family, the brothers giving support to her husband and wanting to burn the wife's house. This is worst than human.
3) Bunch of smokers in the house. The unborn baby could be affected and become unhealthy when born. Who is suffering for whole life? Thanks to the father.
4) Talking cock during the pre wedding photograph session ? Not serious?
It doesn't show any LOVE between the couple. THe husband is addicted for sex rather than marriage.
Leave that man!! What's the point? This will affect your child later too. Stay with your own family. It's never too late. God Bless this girl.
ReplyDeleteJacky chin,I never said that my knowledge is better than urs.I'm just saying that u are too naive.Read the diary again if u dont get why I asked her to find someone to PROTECT herself.i DID NOT ask her to beat up his husband or mummy.He(the husband) would go to the extend of burning her house just cos of a breakup.Just imagine...u're saying that it's jsut a misunderstanding?wana wait till it happen then we go like"owh,NEXT TIME we should prevent this".I've seen husband poisoning wife/plotting murder right in front of hidden cameras.This matter cannot be taken lightly.It's people's life u're dealing with.NOT 1...but 2!haih...it up to u then.since u're so damn right.we'll see what will happen if she choose ur way.Oh ya,dun judge me by my age,I might be young,but doesnt mean that i dont know how violence should be handled.I practised martial art not to beat people up.but to defend and protect others.get that in mind please.adios
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day, the mother in law does have issues to deal with and so does the son.
ReplyDeleteEvery person who gets married knows that the mother-in-law often finds it hard to let go of her son and will often compete for attention with the wife. (fact of life) She probably has unresolved issues and the fact is she still hasnt "released" her son.
In view of the Son, he probably does not have the "BALLS" to say no to his mother due to his lack of education + working for his mum. These conflicts of interest are causing him to not be "man" enuf.
Also, the question i would ask her would be, before she got married, what attracted her to him. If it was purely physical attraction, the relationship will die. For a marriage to last, there has to be more then the physical. There has to be a deep spiritual connection between a man and his wife. Now, personally, i dont support divorcing as it is bad for the children, i would advice them to go for marriage counselling first and IF that fails to only divorce as a final measure.
If you guys have time，go to read this: http://babylz.women.sohu.com/lianzai/lzl-47275-0.html
ReplyDeleteDon't be too shocking, the woman aborted her 7 months fetus, imagine how desperate she was? my god!! I didn't say it's a solution. But girls really need to stand up for themselves.
Good luck for your friend.
another thing,I might be wrong if he was being pressured by his mummy or his wife.But resorting to house burning/anything related to life threatening is over the boarder.I dont remember marrige include threatening/burning/killing?It's suppose to be with one another forever.Even to utter the word divorce is bad enought already.what more to say burn her house down.I dont take those words as a joke if i were u
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteoh ya Jacky Chin...just to finish this the same way u did to me..good luck to u in future too =)
ReplyDeletei think there is no need for further moderate solution to this...nicole make it very clear that this poor girl have suffered enough and the only way is to leave...hope i can help her, to flee from the mummy's boy...
ReplyDeleteP.S: Pay Fong Hall never changed...the girl live in melaka too, i assume?
wat the heck.. tat guy sucks... i thought this story only happens in movies... never thought it would happen in real life... fuck off that guy.. while reading the story, i felt anger... hope your friend will find happiness after she leaves that fucking man...
ReplyDeleteSpeechlessly speechless.. what a pity girl..
ReplyDeleteand i would suggest her to become a single parent, better than suffering like this.. No one knows how terrible she is feeling now.. But lucky her cos she has you as her friend who supports her endlessly..
and before you all plan to do anything, plan wisely.. always think of the worst consequences in different perspectives and find solutions for it..
All in all, he brings shame to all of the men out there! An I am one of them. ~sigh~
ReplyDeleteNicole, ur friend wrote "my parents have to hide in a corner to pass me things, like thieves". It's obvious that her parents also knew about her plight. ~sign~ Nicole go wake her parents up. Her plight will likely get WORSE. She will not find the courage to stand up against her husband like that. Tell them to put their chest high up and stand in front of their daugther. And with friends like you by her side, she may just find that courage.
ReplyDeletehelp her nicole.. please help her...
ReplyDeleteMy ex's mom was like that..I mean what the fish...Luckily nothing happened between us and I got off easy after some abuse and insults from him..got punch in my tummy and bitter words spoken. tried to "rape" me but luckily I wasn't stupid enuf..I really agree that Guys like this should just be murder to save all the troubles..and Nicole, we are on her side!!
ReplyDeleteDear dear dear Jason,
ReplyDeleteYour jokes made me laught until my cry, i begin to think u r a very adorable big joker man, martial arts?..haiiiyaah..n u watch too much conspiracy movie about husbands killing wifes everday?...please stop, u r giving me such a hard time laughing...i cannot stop now...cute, u are very cute man, u certainly noe nothing...
best of the best regards for you man...
Chubby Chin
and oso, please learn something b4 u speak, like the marriage act la, the police act la or something useful b4 u make a bigger joke out of yourself man...
I didn't finish the whole letter.
ReplyDeleteThere is no need to.
Divorce him.
It may seem difficult now but better than staying on.
Be BRAVE !
Walk out of that door and you will be a happier person.
Darn! This bastard is a piece of shit! You can have all my scissors, Nicole. This kind of man doesnt deserve to live. A shame to all males.
ReplyDeleteNicole, I have seen many cases like your friend in real life. Many times friends and families member of the girls who really cared will advise not to marry their irresponsible bf. These naive girls will ignore this advice and continue to marry their bf thinking their bf will change for better. This is FALSE HOPE the girls have in mind!! They are blinded with so called love. These bad guys make a lot of sweet but empty promises that don't live up to their expectation. The guys are probably ego, good looking, rich, aggressive but with bad attitude, disloyal, evil hearts. At the end of the day, they choose the bad guys to be their husband when there are much better choices out there. On the contrary, those nice guys who kind hearted end up being singles get nuthin but shit troubles when these girls failed marriage asked for help. I rather be the bad guys but I am not. Did these naive girls listened to our advice b4 its too late? The answer is NO! WAKE UP U GIRLS!! She can only blame herself for choosing a loser husband. Also, her husband NOT deserved to have such a nice wife. Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteI think the so called `mum in law' was probably abused as well in the past. Trying to self-pity by getting back now on her daughter in law. What a kolok minded biatch! As for the husband, what a piece of garbage.
ReplyDeleteI am ashamed as a guy in reading this.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what is she thinking. But that guy is a bad choice even at first glance. And proven more so when after she gets married.
This man apparently has nothing worth staying for...so just leave him and be rid of this vicious cycle forever...
I have a cousin who has a similiar situation like hers, but only that her life got better because she gave birth to sons...my aunt, insisted on taking care of the babies and pampering them like any doting grandparent would... leaving my cousin and his wife to have their own sweet time...my aunt did so bcoz she was so afraid that her only son might leave her and the only way to keep him coming back is to take care of her grandchildren...one of them is now four, and is a complete monster around the house, he spits at his grandparents, threatens at my mother...and assaults ppl whenever he feels like it...and he's been in fights in the nursery as well...
i cannot imagine what person he will become in the future...and i would not be surprised that it will turn out more monsters like that guy u said....
The girl is right...i am married to u, not ur mother...so she has no power to decide on how i should take care of myself, and blame her parents just bcoz the way she is brought up is different...and being different isn't wrong...and she turned out much,much better off than that woman's children did... my aunt wouldn't let her daughter-in-law take care of her child bcoz she assumed that she doesn't know how to take care of one...in fact, who actually is born with natural maternal experiance? If one is not given the chance to learn, when will she learn?
U can go to the police to report any threats u know...my mom once got threatened by a man and she reported to the police...and the police paid a kind visit and told him that if anything happens to her, he would be the prime suspect...and they even asked whether my mom wanted him to be locked up...so if he threatens to burn her house, that shows how much an idiot she is being with, and even more so not worth it to be with...
I only pray for a light at the end of this tunnel to you...and if i can help in any way, i would. But i would first pledge myself not to be the kind of mommy's boy if i ever get married...
This should be a matrimonial between two souls, not between other people outside this budding family...of course families matter, but since u are a married man, u should be responsible even more so to your spouse, not your mother, bcoz your wife is the one you would have company until the very end...your mom has her husband to be company with... she has no right to get herself involved in your marriage, and even more so control how you live...if u cannot even take charge of ur life, then u are seriously not suitable to get married...
There is something i must say that will offend alot of people. Girls, please pick ur partners wisely. I have seen again and again, girls picking men that are totally rubbish, and end up getting hurt or far worse...it's not that nobody warned them about it, it's just that they wouldn't listen. I have no examples of a relationship working now, usually coz the guys dump them off after he got to home base...i wish you'd have known better...it sounds cruel, but there are so many times where this can be stopped, only to allow yourself to be intimidated by him...U have a RIGHT. So stop it by voicing out and fighting for what u deserve...no one should live in pain under another's pleasure...
All the best to you, and thanks nicole for shedding light in this cruel menace...
I don't know what would be the best thing for her and the unborn child. But what I would like to know is how the online community can help her. Getting pissed isn't gonna change anything.
ReplyDeletehelp her get out...don't let a guy decides how u should live your life...you are the master of your life..and the mother of your child...let her know that...
ReplyDeletenothing is fixed...nothing is impossible...take the first step...and make a change...until then...there is nothing much you can do besides bearing all this...
i hope she will find the true her...be independent and strong...think of what she really wants...and what is best for her and her baby...
I hope she will overcome this...all the best!
It's heartening to read this. I really wish to help if I could and if she allows.. I believe she really needs help now.. I mean now:... if she's being ignored or left alone for another few days.. I can't imagine what will happen next.
ReplyDeleteThere are even woman society out there that will help.. Please let me now about her condition after this.. Since we're women, we wish to help each other...
Amitabha...
how can a man be so cruel .. and how can her mom in law be so terrible.. she's pregnant with THEIR blood line in her .. she should go to the police straight away and it is very hurting that they keep criticizing her parents. it must be very heartbreaking for a daughter to swallow all these insults thrown to her parents..
ReplyDeleteher biggest mistake was KNOWING him .. mama's boy.. pfftt... even if you're mama's boy, you're also someone's hubby, someone's daddy .. wake up ! you're no longer 9 .. and get a real job!
Thanks Nicole for the translation to english.. :D I know it must have took u a really long time to translate it. And i know, it muz hav worth every min of yr time. Thanks again./ :)
ReplyDeleteNicole, I'm a bad bad guy!
ReplyDeleteAsk your friend to dump that SON OF A BITCH!
Your friend deserve 101%
Tell your girl that the guy pick a wrong family member. If she's my sister, i bet that guy and his friends will kiss their sorry ass goodbye.
Dear Nicole,
ReplyDeleteThis girl needs the following:
a. Bravery to talk to her parents and seek her parents understanding and help
b. To move on her life as a single parent for the time being
c. To isolate her feeling for her man as what is more important now is her sanity and her baby's health and safety
d. The rest does not matter as her family, friends like you and the new baby will support her, i am sure.
Fuck That AssHOle!!! He's not fit to be a man. infact, not even a fucking human. that goes the same to his fucking Mom!
ReplyDeleteKonon ada "Brothers" lagi oh. Pang Sat!!! U know what happen when those who fail to Pang Sat? they result into 'pang sa'.
TO those brothers of His; YOu guys are Dogs, Man! Call your self a ack of wild dogs rather than 'brothers' next time. Tiau, even my dogs are behaving better than tat. CIbai! threaten to burn down the house is it? If this Blog is read by real gangs, even real gangs behave better than that and feels like doing something about you Wild trash dogs!
To the girl, Just call up helps if you need one. Its clearly that he's wrongfully very completely wrong till cannot be forgiven. Anyone who read this would agree to that unless they're dog like the guy and bitch like the mom.
TO the mom, Oh Fuck, i've seen these brainless aunties many times in my life. Too bad im not yet in the position to do anything to them. so still enduring. its tough. but seeing you girl, still enduring after so much. its painful. back to the XXX mom, "FUCK" YOU BITCH! I HOPE YOU'RE GONNA READ THIS!
To nicole; Kill them? neh, thats too easy girl. After so long of torturing, might as well torture them long good! hmmmm.. a variety of ideas are popping up my mind. If i am who i want to by now, i would gladly carry each one of the ideas out for the girl.
WOW that feels good.. after scolding all out!
now, seeing whats done is done.
How's the future gonna be like?
Say, Girl, you don't regret marrying him huh? well, you should. this is why you should stop living in regret. How about the future of the kid would be after birth?
Seems that you're powerless in the family, with the XXX mom and your Husband (Uerk). Would you want your kid to be under their influence?
Think properly. its your choice. but i remind you. Whats done is done! But the future is in your hand. Change is nature! its time for a change. Need not step up for the past.
From here on, every decision counts. that includes delaying of the decision making.
Good Luck to you!
by the way, is the guy's name Franky?
ReplyDeleteOne of my dogs is called Franky too (no offence to those with the same name ya, when this dog is a pup, it reacts when we call a friend frankie. thats why we call him franky since than.)
MY DOG CAN BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING THAN THAT GUY!!!!!!!!!
for the sake of mother sarawak, make that guy something worse than a dog.
i can understand how ur friend feel.. I used to be like her.. Luckily not pregant...
ReplyDeleteSometime i wld jus think that maybe tommorrow will be better. Maybe tommorrow he will change, maybe if he scold me, is also for me to improve.. I can jus find lots lots of excuses for him.. yet I never think for myself..
And if he treat his parents well, also mean that he will treat me well next time when we get married.. Cos i would be one of his family.
But this is not the true.
I bear with all these shit for 7 years and finally i burst out and shout at him...
He is shocked and after a while we broke off,
cos he found another gal.... and dump me.. after i had done so much...
Some Men are jus sick... =(
wow he must be an inbred
ReplyDeleteI feel so sad after reading it, and I can't believe that situations like these still happen and accepted in this era. It's totally inhuman. Please tell your friend to gather up her courage and leave the son of a bitch. The child that she will bear will have a much better life without knowing the bastard. No more "Staying together for the sake of the children". I'm sure she will be much more respected to leave that hell and live an independant life of her own or at least a place where she will be loved, her parents'. Growing up, my parents always encouraged me to marry local men, especially chinese because 'it's better that way, and they will treat you better than those foreigners'. Needless to say, I did not follow their advise and chose a foreigner as my husband. He is the best man I could ever ask for and I feel so blessed to have him. I pray that your friend will choose the right path, as it is never too late to find happiness. She will be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteCCB!! MOther fucker that SOB!! FUCk! i dont stand a guy who does this kinda shit to girls! HEll!! "Brothers" my ass!! ONlY ppl with no balls call on their brothers and shit!!
ReplyDeleteSHIT! Tell that shitty fellow to burn in hell!! Torture him 1st b4 throwing him of course for all the hurt he'd caused her. MOTher fucker... that guy..
Btw.. this is my first time commenting on a blog. Hate this shit happens to girls.
Good luck on ur friend nicole.
To file a divorce...What are the grounds in this case?...
ReplyDeleteI'm new here and was directed by Kenny to your page. The first thing I read was this post.
ReplyDeleteI was really shocked to know that sum ppl are still like this. I'm really sorry to hear all these things. Like what everybody has said, stay strong. I hope my prayer and everyones here will reach her. I'm really not sure what else I can do to help. Maybe you could post the husbands face up and also the XXX's shop or warehouse whatever it is, and we shall all boycott the place. If life was just as simple. to the girl, have faith and stay strong.
NICOLE, PLEASE HELP ME TO SEND THE MESSAGE OF GRATITUDE, RESPECT AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOUR FRIEND. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS THING IS STILL HAPPENING. I FOUND OUT THAT THIS KINDA THING ONLY HAPPEN IN THE EAST CULTURE AND SOCIETY, LESS AMONG THE WESTERNERS, THEY KNOW RESPECT, FREEDOM AND LOVE. NICOLE, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELING RIGHT NOW, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THE ANGER, THE HATRED, THE HELPLESSNESS YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW. MY MOM HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE WITH YOUR FRIEND WHEN SHE'S PREGNANT WITH ME. EXACTLY THE SAME AS WRITTEN IN HER DIARY, EVERYTHING, JUST THAT MY MOM IS PREGNANT AFTER MARRIAGE, BUT THE WORK, TREATMENT FROM MOTHERINLAW ARE EXACTLY THE SAME, AND THE MOST HEART BREAKING IS THE HUSBAND WHO LOVED HER SO DEARESTLY BEFORE MARRIAGE SUDDENLY BECOME A *@#$%^&*(I CAN'T SAY IT CAUSE THAT'LL BE SAYING MY DAD.) TREATING HER EVEN WORSE THAN A SLAVE... YA, SAD. NICOLE, YOU SAID WOMAN HAVE TO STAND UP! TRUE, I TOTALLY AGREE, I HOPE THERE'LL BE ORGANISATION STARTING TO RISE TO TAKE CARE OF THE 'KEBAJIKAN' OF ALL WOMAN, ESPECIALLY MARRIED AS THE EASTERNER HAS A BIG PROBLEM WITH THIS. I'M 19 NOW, UNIVERSITY STUDENT AND PLEASE TELL HER, PLEASE STAY STRONG, FOR THE SAKE OF THE KID, PLEASE... PLEASE KEEP ON ENCOURAGING HER, AT LEAST I FEEL SHE'S BETTER THAN MY MOTHER, SHE HAS YOU, A TRUE FRIEND WHO STAND BESIDE HER, AND FAMILY IS STILL AROUND. MY MOTHER WAS MARRIED FROM TAIWAN TO MALAYSIA, WITHOUT KNOWING EVEN THE LANGUAGE OF MALAY AND ENGLISH BUT ONLY MANDARIN, AND WITHOUT FAMILY AND FRIEND, THERE'S NO ONE SHE KNOWS HERE, LEAVING ALL THE FAMILY FROM TAIWAN JUST TO STAY WITH THIS ONE GUY SHE BELIEVED AND LOVED. SHE HAD A LOT OF SUFFERING, BECAUSE OF THE MOTHER IN LAW, YES I KNOW, THE POINT IS, HER HUSBAND IS THE MAIN PROBLEM, THE %$#@& (SORRY I CAN'T SAY IT.) TELL HER TO STAY STRONG! MY MOTHER DID TRY TO KILL HERSELF, PLENTY OF TIMES, BUT FOR ME SHE DIDN'T, MY MOTHER THOUGHT THAT SHE'D ABANDON ME AND GO BACK TO TAIWAN AND LIVE HER HAPPY LIFE, SHE CAME BACK FOR ME. SO NICOLE, ALSO HELP ME TO SEND MY GRATITUDE TO HER, FOR BEING A GREAT, STRONG MOTHER, FOR STILL CARRYING THE CHILD, STILL DOING ALL THE HOUSEHOLD CORE DESPITE THEIR HUMILIATION AND UNREASONABLE TREATMENT. AND I THANK HER FROM MY HEART REALLY. PEOPLE NOWADAYS WOULD PROBABLY JUST LEAVE HIM AND DROP THE BABY, BUT SHE DIDN'T BECAUSE OF HER MOTHERLY LOVE. SHE'S GREAT! I THANK MY MOTHER TO STAY STRONG AND RAISE ME UP, I'M NOT WHO I AM IF IT WASN'T HER. TELL HER THAT GOD IS ALWAYS WITH HER. TELL HER TO PRAY TO WHOEVER GOD SHE BELIEVE IN. TELL HER THAT ALL OF US WILL PRAY FOR HER, FOR ALL THOSE WHO'RE ENCOUNTERING THE SAME SITUATION, WE WISH ALL PEOPLE WILL LIVE IN PEACE, LOVE AND RESPECT. AND IF POSSIBLE, TELL HER TO FIND A WAY, TO MOVE OUT OF THE MOTHER-IN=LAW'S HOUSE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, WITH THE HUSBAND, AS THAT IS THE MAIN POINT THAT ALL THESE EXIST SINCE THE HUSBAND HAS ALREADY TURN OUT TO BE A *&^%$#@...
ReplyDeleteAGAIN, I THANK HER AND I WILL PRAY FOR HER! FOR BEING A GREAT MOTHER AND HOUSEWIFE! TELL HER THAT THESE WILL BE OVER, NOW AFTER 20 YEARS, MY DAD AND MOM AT LEAST IS STILL HAVING A BETTER LIFE COMPARED BEFORE. AND NOW I HAVE 2 MORE YOUNGER BROTHERS. THE PARENT IN LAW WILL REALISE THAT WHAT THEY DID WAS WRONG, AFTER SEEING THAT THE KIDS ARE NICE AND STRONG AND PRESENTING VERY WELL IN SCHOOL, SOMEHOW THEY'LL REALISE THE KIDS ARE ALSO HONOURING THEMSELVES, DESPITE ALL THE UNFAIR TREATMENT TOWARDS THE MOTHER, BUT OF COURSE, THESE ALL DEPEND ON YOU.
AND I'M A GUY, SOMEHOW I FEEL GUYS SHOULD THINK ABOUT THIS!!!! *Following the previous comment i dropped*
ReplyDeleteit's sad, let's hope that all the mothers who've been through all this realize this kinda suffering should be ended and never treat their son's wife that way so the bad things like this won't continue otherwise it'd be bad
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI used to be in a similar situation as well, not as "pitiful" as your friend.
I decided to live my life "my way" 4 yrs ago, me and my precious lead a simple life with my parent, we are both happy. I would like to share what I have been through with her, if she's keen. PLEASE TELL HER NOT TO SHORTCHANGE HER NOR THE BABY'S LIFE! THEY DESERVE BETTER! BE STRONG!
walk out of it now. it will only get worst.
ReplyDeleteIf I have to be rude.. then my words to this worthless "husband": Go Lick your Mama's Poosy. Sit dog! Come here dog! DOn't you get tired of all the strings pulling your hands and legs and head, like a puppet?
ReplyDeleteTo this lady, you are stronger than they think you are. The weaker ones here are those from XXX sides. This guy is weak and useless, worthless. You are not alone. There's many out there, they think they are the greatest, they think we cannot live without them. But you know what, the society is going to change soon. Women these days are actually more independant and stronger than men. We don't need them. THEY NEED US!
ReplyDeleteStay strong!!!! Be strong!!!! Love live the strong women in the world.
Hey, all the traditional minded Mother In Law.... stop being so mean. Stop being so negative. You have a son, so what? Let your son grow up! Stop being so protective. Be nice to everyone. You will need them when you get older. What comes around goes around. You will need someone to take care of you when you shit in your pants or fall down and cannot come up.
ReplyDeleteTo the guys that like to fool around fcking without protection... think before you push, idiot! If you cannot take the responsibility... go jerk yourself with some dogs instead. DOn't get people pregnant... and run away! Be A MAN.
Oh I have an interesting story to share. My ex boyfriend's entire family is FAT. And guess what? When he brought me to his family.... wow, the mom said I am FAT. The fact is, they are all fatter than me, and so is my ex-boyfriend. They should know better who's really the FAT one. What's wrong with him and them? It's not like I met him when I was super slim and gain weight overnight? I was already in my size when I know him. I am glad I am no longer with him.
ReplyDeletehi nicole,
ReplyDeletethanks for bringing this up on part of your friend. youre someone who has a voice more or less in the community because of your blog. i believe with your sense of protection over her, you should be on the active side and help her out, because your friend has already given out an open invitation for help once she thought of leaving her husband. its only by fear she is continuing to live like this. i guess your readers are all behind you if you do take action.
regards.
Hi NIcole,
ReplyDeleteTell your friend to walk away from that dickhead. He is such a *tooot**.
She is educated.. She will find a career. God will provide.. trust me.. I've been there... 2 months pregnant, dumped by bf... I lost my job... (because I decided to bring-up my baby.. ), then after jobless almost 1 year, I manage to get a job... even with better pay. I am a happy single mum...
So, I believe that your friend will even have a better life without that loser!!!
pity is not the solution. this situation happend before with my fren's fren. we as outsiders is very hard to help them. furthermore the " guy " side is aka gangster wannabe. alternative solution 1. bring this girl to MCA for help. 2. Make police report for any abusive act.
ReplyDeleteMost important thing is depend on the girl. she must have to guts to leave this guy. the baby would be the real one to be suffer. if the baby was born, someone has to take care.
According to my fren's fren , she divorce with the guy ( hard to make it ) but finally she's done it. she take up a course ( ACCA ) and her family helped her to take care of her baby.
She need to be strong. She need a career. She need some knowledge and independence.
will pray for ur frienz....
ReplyDeletemove out of the house, if the guy again comes with his gang to threaten u and ur family, report it straight to the police, and make sure u have witnesses with u. the police can harge his with assault and attempted arson. make him pay.
ReplyDeleteDivorce would help also, can ask for spousal maintenance and child maintenance, exclusion order.
there are so many way out, and the guy definitely ain't worth your time!
just remember, judges are human, we are human, and the decision would most likely be a reflection of all these comments!!
GOD BLESS!!!
To diverge, agree with Jacky Chin. That Jason dude talks like as though he is Bruce Lee, and is a veteran in life. If you are such a martial artist, why dont you become her bodyguard?
ReplyDeleteDear NicoleKiss,
ReplyDeleteSorry for the scuffle here last night, I feel bad about what happened here, my new entry is dedicated to u n ur friend...
Sincerely,
Chubby Chin
wow....I'm touched..i wish i could do something,but,I can't coz I'm still a
ReplyDeletekid...us guys never know how to appreciate someone till they lose em..
Dear Friend of Nicole,
ReplyDeleteLEAVE HIM! Report him to the police, whatever you can do to get rid of him. You're strong, by what you've been doing, the things you've sacrificed, I'm sure you can make it on your own, to support your baby, together with your parents. I'm sure you have good friends like Nicole to help you, Women's aid or something like that. You deserve a life of your own, not manipulated by WITCHES like XXX!
I know a 20 year old girl who gave birth at the age of 17 and took care of her own child since they divorced (after one year). You can do it too.
Be strong, never rely on guys, not especially one who don't even have his SPM! Not an asshole who can't even live on his own, not a stupid mummy's boy. Leave them, please.
It hurts to know how badly girls are treated out there. We should stand up for ourselves.
Take care of yourself and your baby.
Regards.
Nicole, you're a great friend, I hope you can talk her into leaving him.
To Nicole:
ReplyDeleteYou dont have to ask if that guy is a man, HE IS DEFINITELY NO!
To Nicole's friend:
JUST leave it him! Since you are so sad and he treated you( a pregnant woman!) like animals, just let it go. He got nothing at all. No money too. He will lost more than you. I saw your picture(eventhough the picture is blurred ) at Nicole's blog. You look really pretty. What else to worry? Leave him. Find a good place for you and your baby and live happily ever after!
(but it is still for you to make the decision, after all, it is you who face him, But I SUpPORT YOU!0
i hate such mother-in-laws and to the dickhead,get a fucking life.
ReplyDeleteIf that fucker leaves his mum,it will be not honouring ur parents
ReplyDeletein the 10th commandement...thou shall honour your parents/
So to leave the mum or to leave his love?both outcome will bring despair to the other party
the re$ult for Hugo Bo$$ final entry out already ka?
ReplyDeleteGod will be with her. Be strong, she knows what to do, so do it and others will come to protect her. She will be happy again.
ReplyDeleteArgh! How can there be sucha person?! I wish she could get out of this ordeal.
ReplyDeletemy ex is a mummy's boy.. he left me coz the mum doesn't like me no matter how i tried to please her.. she complains that he listen to me more than he listen to her, she said it's a waste of money buying me flowers and chatting with me on the phone, she didn't like it when he accompanied me more.. my mum even offered to help us out by helping us to get a house and he move out BUT he was scared of losing his family coz his mum asked him to choose 'me or her'.. if he choose me, she'd disown him.. that's how selfish she is.. but then i've to thank her coz if not for the break up, i won't be happily married to my hubby now
ReplyDeleteLove can't still be there when a man treats a woman like that.
ReplyDeleteLeave him.
such a useless freak! go to hell lar, treat the wife like tat. and the mom in law is soo terrible as well. i hope ur fren will leave him a.s.a.p. no point to be together wif a man who don't even giv u happiness. i hope ur fren will withdraw fr all these misery one day. stay strong.
ReplyDeletea word for d farker.. "knnbaccb".. no lpc... a eunuch perhaps.. to HER: leave d farker.. there's still many good guys around..
ReplyDeletegood gawd. please talk to your friend's family before she gets herself into a mental institution. her own family should receive her back regardless of what has happened. your own family's love is unconditional. she needs to do more than just talk and write in diaries. please do something before it's too late. tell her family. Quick. Dont delay anymore.
ReplyDeleteTO McNamara : How do you even honour a mother like that when she clearly treats your wife like a dog. THis old woman is deliberately throwing her weight around knowing she has the upper hand over this freaking sucker, who's probably sucking to her cos he knows he wont have anything, no money without his mom. I cannot believe she didnt see all these coming before she got married to him. But no use looking back. Take actions now. He has even suggested for you to leave, there's no point staying, dont be STUPID. he does not love you. Accept that and do something to change your situation. No one can help you if you dont help YOURSELF. WAKE UP. STOP BEING MEEK AND HELPLESS ANYMORE BCOS YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF IF YOU CONTINUE TO KEEP QUIET.
ReplyDeletewhat the f**k is wrong with this guy!!! The guy's a friggin asshole! my gosh.... he shudn't even have a dick. Girls.... don't love a guy blindly. Love means commitment and responsibities, not romance. Romance is only a small part of it.
ReplyDeletei guess the "boy" couldn't handle the pressure and decided life will be easier if he just follow what the mom says. he might be even thinking the wife is burden. it's true that the "boy" is useless. the wife should pluck up the courage and just leave him, call the cops if they do harass her. or, just get some underworld friends to beat the shit out of the "boy". there are many ways for a single mom to survive nowadays. even if you have to work in a pub, you know you are doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteHello Nicole,
ReplyDeletePls tell your dearest friend, be strong. Keep away from her 'husband' aka assholes. Her husband remind me of one word from Malay language: DAYUS!
i wouldn't stay if i were her..
ReplyDeleteshe still has her family...her parents...she can alwiz go back to them...i'm sure they wuld receive her wt open arms..even if they dun understand...she still has herself n her baby
its so much better for her baby to grow up in a single parent home but nurtured n loved than to grow up in an abusive environment..
besides her husband isn't supportin her in any ways..not financially emotinally AND physically..i rilly dun see any point y she shuld stay
stay strong...dis type of guys are useless.. there are owez ppl out there tat r willing to help u.. all d best in ur future and ur baby's future..
ReplyDeleteAs a male myself, i'm very ashamed by how that fella treat the girl.
ReplyDeleteThis is why us men always have this reputation.
Nicole, your friend should report this case to the police or the woman's welfare if i'm not wrong.
If my memory didnt fail me there's this society that's for this kind of situation.
My prayers to your friend that she will have the courage to do the right thing.
(JacKy Chin)
ReplyDeletei wonder if u living in a fake world or real world ... hmmmm...
(Jason Lee Chun Huat)solute u, i can feel that u reli trying out want to help the girl :)and i do understand what u r worrying about.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThx Tin,Glad to hear that someone actually understand what I'm talking about.Guess u got the same thinking as I do.I dont emphasize on quarreling in this blog.since it is to discuss about how to help the girl.I strongly believe that the girl should be protected from such person instead of letting them stay together.We human cant change people's attitude.Enuf said
ReplyDeleteOMG, what kind of man is this? He don't even deserve to be called a man...shame to their kind!and his mom, don't she know she's a woman too (shame on her)..Wat is in her mind? is it that her son only is a human and the daugther in law is not a human. She better remember, is her "good" son that can't hold his pants up and impregnant your friend..
ReplyDeleteJust let your friend know that she's not alone, all the gurls out here are supporting her. Get her to leave that bastard and go on with life. If that bastard threathen her, take the picture and lodge a police report, alternatively she can call
Women's Aid Organisation
Pertubuhan Pertolongan Wanita
P.O. Box 493 Jalan Sultan
46760 Petaling Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan
Malaysia.
Tel. +60 3 7956 3488
Fax. +60 3 7956 3237
to back her up...All the best gal!!
What kind of animal is that? Such dumb ass mummy's boy!! And what kind of mom in-law is that? As a woman she dunno how is like to be pregnant? then where the hell the son came from? Useless bum. useless asshole!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah report to the police and WAO. how long can she hang on like that? Pls ask her to leave the guy. It's for the best of her and her child. She need not have to suffer alone. There are many who is supporting her.
Pls ask her get to out from that place. She deserves a happier life and not to be treated like trash!
I'd say she should definitely do what she thinks is best for her and her baby. If that is to leave, then she definitely should. Faith and tolerance is only reasonable when the other party is reasonable. Such treatment, even if tolerated now, cannot be tolerated forever. Anyone would deserve better. Even if you got pregnant with a wrong man, that shouldn't ever hold you back from pursuing a better future, especially when this one sure seems like hell. She should definitely stand up for herself. Though its 'disrespectful' and against asian tradition etc, she shouldn't allow herself to be talked down to that way, moreover with her family being degraded in that way too. Be brave and stand up for yourself. Don't let the fear stop you from walking out. Do what's best, and that definitely isn't to stay. Well, unless if you still believe in your man. But I'm skeptical about that. Time has already proven him unworthy.
ReplyDeleteYou make me want to help too... I'll keep you in prayer. When all else fails, there's always God.
i'll give you a chainsaw instead of a scissors =P
ReplyDeletehe is abusing the girl. bastard. curse his family to die in hell
ReplyDeleteHow about we go and rescue the girl, donate money to her, give her job, and protect the girl.
ReplyDeleteWe have over ten of thousands of people here in the blog, easy to realize the above, right?
And before we do that, let's chop off the XXX's son dick.
Who's with me?
haha, Leremy..
ReplyDeleteanytime man..
and I would show XXX this .I.
"suck tat bytch!"
basicly, ppl should move out after marriage.. tats a MUST DO!
even if no money, tats a must..haih.
Sick ass f*cka.... He's a disgrace to all men!!!
ReplyDeletehe is piece of shit!!!
ReplyDeletedam.. mempersiasukan men!!!!!
Hey hey people, why getting so angry ?
ReplyDeleteWe need to get the the ROOT OF THE CAUSE !!!!
What caused him to react in such a way ? What caused the temper ? If we can solve the root of their problems, the entire problem can be solved.
Simple as that.
please please ask ur fren to go to the police.. shes suffering too much.. may god bless her!..
ReplyDeleteHE'S so damn pathetic. If he's standing right in front of me right now, I swear I'll whack the shit out of him, till he wish his momma didn't have sexual intercourse with his dad.
ReplyDeletestupid momma's boy who has no dignity. oh i left out the word brainless as well.
stupid brainless momma's boy who has no dignity.
You are only reading the things from one side of the coin.
ReplyDeletei feel so sorry for your fren and also share the anguish that u feel and so do many others.
ReplyDeleteleaving that 'family' is the best choice. there's no hope in thinking that the husband and mother in law will change their attitude.
i don't understand why she is not leaving and still staying there to endure all the abuse by them. if she's afraid of the threats that he is putting on her family then go to the police. or get her to leave the place for sometime away from him.
have no fear at times like this because fear is wat he wants her to feel. seriously no woman deserves such a 'beast'.
she REALLY needs to get out of this situation soon because we can see that she's reached the point of contemplating suicide so PLS nicole do all u can to help her. even if she doesn't want u to do it pls do.. she'll thank u later for tat
take care and 'may she be well and happy.'
first of all, 2nd hand smoke is just the same as smoking. and it is really a great great risk factor for the child! a pregnant woman must have a safe environment for her own safety and the child's wellness. there are many possibilities in the harm for the child if you smoke, just google and see for yourself!
ReplyDeleteAND she actually fainted twice? she actually became paralyzed?? Did she go for a checkup for her baby regularly?? She must go for her checkup or else, all this getting married for the baby thing may all just be futile if miscarriage happens due to the stress,physical exersion and harmful environment she is in. (touch wood!!)
if a marriage can be saved for the better of the child, of course they should try out. BUT!! the husband is jobless, a hooligan wanabee, obviously a garbage to the society. And this is not all, the husband obviously doesn't care for her, so the love and willness is not there. She can of course try to save the marriage, but i doubt it. So please plan your way out wisely! find all the help you can, i'm everyone is more then ready to help you! Don't be scared! stand up for your life or regret for your life!!