Saturday, March 22, 2008

The World I Pursue?

I want to run to the end of the earth.
And back.
And to go around again once more.

Why does one live? I often question myself.

Subjective question, with more than one way to deliver those answers.

I want to live my life on the edge, the brink of fantasy and reality. To live the life few humans live and to go through things most people would deem impossible to achieve.

Yet I am only human, and there is so much one can achieve. It’s true when they say only sky is the limit, because human do have more potential and ability than we believe ourselves to have. And to stretch that ability only goes to prove our mere existence is no longer insignificant, no longer trivial.

I don’t come from a wealthy background, yet I believe there are certain aspects of life the wealthy will never understand nor experience. The same as I will never experience one of wealthy’s. Fair’s fair.

Freedom, to me is to wake up every single day, knowing I am in a new place, a new city, a new country; to sleep every single night, not knowing where I will be tomorrow, the next day, or the week after.

To sleep on the street, the airport, the train station, a park, on a boat; to stay awake going through lonely street, wandering through a lost city, meeting locals and falling in love with a stranger.

To meet great people, be friendly, go party, have a blast of a time of which memory would last me a life time, and part the next minute knowing I will never see them again.

To learn a new language, cook a new dish, dance a new step, play an odd instrument, study a ruin, listen to stories, acknowledge a history, visit a landmark, climb a mountain, rent a bicycle, smile to passersby, stroke a stray kitty, pat a dog, pick a flower and wave down a car.

To whip out a map, close my eyes, pin down a place, and to be on the train the next hour heading to that city/village pin-pointed. The joy knowing the world is yours to explore, and the excitement not knowing what’s to be installed for you the next day. The happiness people bring to you every single day, the wonder of new things you learn every single day, hour, minute.

With freedom comes sacrifices.

Youth? Wealth? Time? Commitment? Responsibility?

How much are you willing to let go? How much are you willing to give in?

How much, do you crave freedom?

33 comments:

  1. I crave for freedom as much as I love myself..

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  2. I believe you are now in the phase of early confusion or depression state of mind. Haha, just kidding.

    Anyway, freedom does not comes for free. For example, financial freedom requires hardwork in early days to earn a substantial amount of fruits to be bear in future.

    You are still young and ignorant of the world. No offense but I am certain you have not really seen what the real world looks like. That's why you are still puzzle why you exist in this world with freedom hard to come by.

    Some people in this world exist to know that they will not live for a long time. In my secondary school days, I have 2 seniors of which they are brothers, 1 in form 2, and the other in form 5. Both of them are wheelchaired bound as they have backbone the size of twisties fries when they were born. Plus they have some brain deficiency syndrome but still can manage a little studies and talking. Everyday at school, the parents will leave the at the entrance of the school gate and is escorted by prefects to their classes. Unfortunately, for the elder one his pass away of natural death after finishing half of his SPM papers. After 2 years later, his younger brother pass away too.

    In school they are cheerful people with less fortunate lives. But many of the classmates enjoy talking to them both. There are many things that they could not do such as sports (PE), so both of them ususlly watch us play football at the side of the field.

    This is not a story but real life.

    The moral of the story is that you had been given a life, an almost perfect life(maybe say 85%) to enjoy. You are considered normal people, free from any misfortunes.

    Love your life, love whatever GOD have given to you. It is not what we love to do but what we have to do to live. You may not be wealthy or happy at the moment but you are definately and certainly better off than my 2 senior classmates. So what is there to complain.

    Many chinese saying, if always compare with other people, you will end up comparing till you die. I think that is how it sounds.

    Back to your question:::Why does one live?

    Errr, I think you will figure that out yourself.

    The most important question is not:: Why does one live?

    Your should look it this way:::
    What I would and should do in my lifetime to make it a memorable one so that I can tell my children about it.

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  3. Keep up the good work which you've been doing for PPKKCTM. I consider you to be one of the most famous blogger in Malaysia thus' please use your fame to highlight more of such cause or encourange your reader to get involve more in volunteering work...

    Youth? Wealth? Time? Commitment? Responsibility?

    With Commitment, your Resposibilities will follow, whereby will take a toll on your Youth and Time which more likely to generate a huge sum of Wealth for you...Freedom then is not your choice anymore !!!

    Get well soon :)

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  4. take care of your body,
    life is a journey just enjoy every bit of it

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  5. Stop talking garbage guys. Stop all the bull shit. Nicole has too good a life to go around, blogs all day long. Behind all these good lives, there are so many of us just struggling to make ends meet. You guys just do not know how lucky you are. I, for one trying to keep up with paying bills.

    Read the book, 'The purpose driven life' and you all will understand that life is not about you. Not about Nicole Tan being the best blogger in Malaysia'. It is all about GOD. The power of GOD and the test he puts on you when you are on earth.

    Sometimes, when I read about the fine cuisine in Malaysia, the best desserts that can be found in Malaysia, the wine tasting and all that bull shit. Do you know how many people just are happy to have bread on the table? Do you?

    In the name of GOD, please...

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  6. erm...i cant give u any wisdom words unlike some elders here...but i jz want u 2 know u r not alone in this struggle in life...i think i know what it feels like to be torn between enjoying life and taking responsibilities in life therefore one always question wat is the purpose in life...

    But fear not as long as u dont regret much in life i would say that is 1 hell of an achievement!can't wait for u to feel better and share with us what u think and see in life here!Cheers !

    Marcus

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  7. (roll eyes at anonymous.) How about this, "God has plans for everyone?" Pardon me, I aint no evangelist.

    ANYWAY,

    Its going to take alot to tie you down isnt it, nicole! Freedom is beyond the word Freedom! Go for wherever you want to. Because I dont think anyone can find salvations for ourselves unless we do.

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  8. "Stop talking garbage guys. Stop all the bull shit. Nicole has too good a life to go around, blogs all day long. Behind all these good lives, there are so many of us just struggling to make ends meet. You guys just do not know how lucky you are. I, for one trying to keep up with paying bills.

    Read the book, 'The purpose driven life' and you all will understand that life is not about you. Not about Nicole Tan being the best blogger in Malaysia'. It is all about GOD. The power of GOD and the test he puts on you when you are on earth.

    Sometimes, when I read about the fine cuisine in Malaysia, the best desserts that can be found in Malaysia, the wine tasting and all that bull shit. Do you know how many people just are happy to have bread on the table? Do you?

    In the name of GOD, please..."

    I dont often comment on websites such as these, there's not enough time to get involved with the whole 'blog-o-sphere' world, but i do occasionally read blogs to break down my work-filled day with some lighthearted reads. When i read your comment above, i was too affected not to leave my 2cents.

    you cannot assume people have good lives and condemn people just because they can afford to eat in expensive restaurants. these blogs do not represent clearly whether or not someone has a good life. i don't know nicole tan, but you simple can't say she has a good life who can afford to go wine tasting therefore she can 'stop the bullshit'.

    fair enough you have your struggles about making ends meet.. financial struggles are hard. everyone has a story.. different sorts of struggles... i can eat at the most expensive restaurant, travel the world yada-yada, but that luxury doesn't mean i don't have burdens in my heart that makes my life easier or harder than yours.

    everyone has a story, don't assume, and don't judge is all i'm saying...

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  9. Oh,don't said I judge. I never judge. I only said that you people out there have too good a life to blog all day long,talking nonsense.
    I fear GOD. He is the mightiest. I prayed hard day in and day out to stay healthy to keep my family fed up.
    When I see people wishing Nicole Tan daily for her well wishes, I thought to myself, why don't these people wish the less fortunate in this world more food to eat and those are in dire health state more healthy.
    Give you another example. Remember good old Britney Spears??? People spend all kinds of money to see her in concert making her rich. And those who attend the concert only have so little money to get by each day but they spend all their hard earned money on a celebrity??!! My GOD. Why don't they use the ticket money on some poor guys on the street. Why! And look at Britney Spears today. A once idol that so many adored. Why don't these same people that adored Britney S. adored GOD? The GOD almighty that all stood up for us.

    You know, you guys just have too good a life. GOD these people just have too good a life. ....that's all I want to say.

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  10. I really wish I could sacrifice myself for the freedom you mentioned... But, I can't, for now. How much longer can I wait? Youth don't wait for us.
    Rather make me feel depressed reading your thoughts. Hope someone, something can bring me out of this misery.

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  11. even freedom comes with an expensive price tag nowadays. :)

    i missed out on your hospitalisation story, apologies. i hope you are healthy and pinkish right now. sunway hospital? i sometimes stay in the condo right beside it, could've brought you comfort food. but then again...i didnt know.. :(

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  12. DevilsAdvocate23/3/08 11:36 AM

    Anonymous you should set an example! Disconnect yourself from this cesspit of heathens known as the Demonet! You could then use the monthly subscription that you pay to use the net (and post on blogs) as donations for those poor unfortunate souls you mentioned! And damn it, look at those clothes of yours, give it to those who are more in need! GOD would want it!

    Travelling is good, but you know what, after awhile, you'll realise that the best place to put your feet up is still, strangely enough... HOME. It's weird.

    As for the desire to travel, that is something

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  13. whats wrong with anonymous? u seriously in need of reality check.. y do we have haters in every single entry, geez, dude, u say u dun judge? GIVE ME A F***ING BREAK

    ps: get some professional help, will ya

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  14. anonymous, happy easter if you're christian. btw, blogging doesn't mean a person is less prayerful or God-centred. blogging is significant to the writer because its an expression of their feelings/thoughts/soul etc. which is the very essence of who they are.

    "I only said that you people out there have too good a life to blog all day long,talking nonsense."

    maybe life isn't so good, you don't want to keep it all inside so you write, maybe life is so good you want to share it and show how appreciative you are, so you write it. i've been slammed for blogging before and questioned why i used to share my deep thoughts for, and i took offense to it. i know that if i kept it all inside, and had no mode of expression, i could've gone nuts. so ITS NOT NONSENSE.

    and if someone chooses to go to a concert because its breaks down their miserable life at the time, despite going hungry for a week, give them a break.. its their right.

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  15. i hope things get easier for you anonymous.. for you and your family. you just hit a note in my head that i have to respond to your statements.

    they're in no way attacking you on easter... but you need not make such generalizations the way you have.

    ~anna

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  16. Hm..sounds like a backpacker's life to me.

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  17. its time to get a real job...

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  18. picksickrick23/3/08 11:07 PM

    deep and profound at some place...but shallow in others...well balanced! wahaha

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  19. take good care of yourself.

    hope you are fine now..

    don't care what other people are saying about you. you have the rights to live your own life.

    you can do whatever you like..

    waiting to read more posts on ur blog!

    take care ~

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  20. You are right anonymous! It's time to get a real job.

    Anonymous said...

    its time to get a real job...

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  21. Ya Chau Sern.. You are so right. She can do whatever she wants..including wasting it..

    Chau Sern said...

    take good care of yourself.

    hope you are fine now..

    don't care what other people are saying about you. you have the rights to live your own life.

    you can do whatever you like..

    waiting to read more posts on ur blog!

    take care ~

    24/3/08 12:05 AM

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  22. Hey Anonymous,

    She is free to write, free to blog, free to post. Well, I am free to read and free to comment. No hard feelings!

    Anonymous said...

    whats wrong with anonymous? u seriously in need of reality check.. y do we have haters in every single entry, geez, dude, u say u dun judge? GIVE ME A F***ING BREAK

    ps: get some professional help, will ya

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  23. Hmmm...
    Very profound of our dear Nicole...

    We're all entrapped within a cage...
    A cage which cannot be touched, seen, tasted or smelled...
    A cage known as commitment...

    Wouldn't it just be wonderful to just roam and explore the world without a single worry at all?
    Ah... The life of a backpacker...

    Remember to call me along oh when you go around...
    Hahahahahaha...

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  24. This post sounds more like a teaser for "Heineken Presents 2 days of Freedom" advertorial.

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  25. I am really curious to know what Nicole will be doing in 10-20 years time. Will she continue to make a living via blogging? If you look at Kenny Sia, at least he has a backup plan (currently or has experience working as a Technology Manager). If his popularity goes sour, then hey, he can continue or go back to become a Technology Manager and continue to pay bills / make a living.

    As far as Nicole, sure, she has a Marketing degree and possibly an upcoming Masters in Marketing Communications? If her popularity goes sour in 10 years time, what will she do with a Marketing degree+ blogging experience? I cannot imagine someone starting their work career in their mid-30's with a marketing degree with not a whole lot of prior work experience. One can only use her looks for so long + unfortunately, pretty faces does not last forever. We all get old.

    Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not underestimating Nicole. Who knows, maybe she will be a famous Malaysian celebrity or get married to some rich guy. I really do wish her all the best!

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  26. Or give up everything and follow Christopher McCandless' foot steps into the wild.

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  27. I think Nicole is a smart girl and she had her plan laid out. She don't have to have us or anyone to tell her how to live her life.

    Kenny is working in his family's company at IT Manager which he felt he has responsibility in.

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  28. I love you Nicole...

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  29. Song that comes to mind is "Forever Young" (Rod Stewart version)

    "May the good lord be with you
    Down every road you roam....

    And may sunshine and happiness
    Surround you when you're far from home...."

    :-P

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  30. Nicole,

    I have been following your blog but have never written. Although I am a local but have been overseas for quite a while.

    The questions asked in this blog have been asked for centuries. People are still searching for the answer.

    I am no expert in this area but I believed everyone decide his/her own path irrespective of the environment. Life is a journey and every decision we make bring us from one destiny to another. We make the best use of what life throw at us and be responsible for our decision. Happiness that does not depend on external factors are most lasting.

    Recently I watch a dvd where a reporter asked the Dalai Lama why there are poor people who are more happy than the rich. The Dalai Lama answered that some rich people are not contended with what they have and therefore are always 'hungry' (not satisfied). In spiritual sense they are 'poor'.


    Nicole, follow your heart and mind with the conscience of knowing what is good for you. Do not burden yourself on finding the perfect path. Find one good path and start from there. Happiness is the journey and not the destination. Be contended with what you have now and plan to achieve your fullest potential in the future. The future is created every second NOW.

    May God bless and enlighten you in your journey.

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  31. for me, i choose the path that brings happiness. anyway, if you're planning to attend grad school, you might want to check out the erasmus mundus scholarship by the eu comission. you get to study and travel in europe fo free! :D

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  32. alot of your comments are very well said... ^_^
    i would truly agree on so many of them...

    life is not determined by what we do instead it is determined by how we live it...
    live it the way you feel good, live it in a way you believe its true... and you should be on your way... right or wrong... is often judged by others but it is us who would know whether its best for us or not... at the end of it all... accept your past, live the present and embrace your future... ^_^

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  33. Will U Merry Me. Please..
    ..

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