Gossip, friend or foe?

Short Note: Currently back in Melaka attending a wedding. OMG, this is my 4th time as a bridesmaid. Is god trying to tell me something?

I’m dismayed recently, of many incidents that have happened and are happening around me.

Since college, I learned the exasperation of rumors and thought that after these years, gossips and mindless bitchings will not get the better of me.

But I was wrong. Unwillingly admitting, they do get the better of me. Oh they do.

I tried to stay low profile for as long as I can, traveling to foreign countries while ignoring what is happening back in my homeland and people I usually socialize with. Yes, I disconnect myself with people around me. One part of me naively thought that there is NO way gossips can fly high when I’m flying.

I traveled so much and was ignorant of my social circle back home; sometimes I forgot how to socialize anymore.

Since teen, I know gossips love me for few reasons I sometimes know too sure of, but neglect. They cling on to me like leaves on trees, like baby on teddy bears, like Nicole on chocolates. I’m probably capable to create gossips out of thin air with my absence.

I understood this in these recent few months.

And it has affected my mood greatly. I love going out less, I dislike meeting people, I have even lost interest in traveling. And I thought locking myself most of the time in my pad will solve the problem; assuming people who like to irritate me, of whom I do not know, will finally leave me alone; to stay away from the social world and let me be.

But again, I was wrong.

I have people I hardly know; barely communicated with; inventing scandal that involves me sleeping or having sex with people I only met for 2 days; rumor with people whom I have high admiration towards because of their articulate social skill and line of work; from people whom I thought to respect for their assumed professionalism.

And little did I know, as ignorant as I wish I could be towards these gossips; it is affecting my reputation, my professions, and circulating around organizations I work for (one who pay me) and with (one who handles my pay).

I have people hating me for reasons I am not too sure of. And when I questioned, I heard people have been distributing information about things I SAID I never knew I did about certain people who will later hate me for the thing I SAID of what content I don’t even know. To make things worse, to accuse me of the SCANDAL they heard to add credits to my “personality” leading to the things I SAID.

And then I lost a friend.

I have people whom I used to fancy, ignoring and avoiding me, due to gossips such like ME spreading rumors that THIS PERSON I used to fancy is trying to HIT (aka get into pants) me. And gossips about the very same person I used to fancy, telling everybody I HAVE SLEPT with him when we never even WERE TOGETHER.

He is still not looking me in the eyes.

The queen once said to be famous, gossips (bad ones usually) play a vital role. To a certain extent, I agree. Controversies create publicity. That's how Paris Hilton and Britney gained fame isn't it? But these gossips have so far affected my friendship, my career, and people I love.

Are rumors and gossips friends? Or foes?

I wish I could share with the many places I have traveled, I have so many interesting things that I want to blog about, about Thailand, about Japan, and even many other parts of Vietnam and many little incidents that made me laugh.

But my heart is just falling apart and whenever I look at the screen, happy words fail to spill out from my fingers. And I will sink back into my books, away from reality.


66 kissed Nicole

  1. I feel 4 u nicole...im always in the middle of such things too. I am my one and only good friend

  2. I hope you'll be ok :) *hugs*

  3. some people will go all out to make others' lifes miserable.

    Keep holding on k? You have your readers out here to support you.


  4. err.. not sure what to say here.. but gossips will always exist no matter what.. just that we have to overcome them in our own way.. n in due time it'll all clear up.. if friends prefer to believe gossips over things that come out of your mouth then im not sure they can be labeled as frens.. cheers..

  5. a person that jumps into conclusion on judging others solely based on gossips and rumors is a jerk. nothing less than a jerk.

    pain is inevitable.....suffering is optional.

    i hope you can be braver emotionally.

  6. Stuff like that tend to happen from time to time, its up to you how to look at it. Anyway, keep those nice posts about your travels coming, I really enjoy reading them.

  7. why you bother what other ppl say about you?? as long as your consious is clear, you still can raise your head up high...

  8. Hey nicole,
    Don't get upset cuz of those stupid rumours that stupid ppl spread. Because that's the purpose they do that! to make you feel the way you're feeling now! After all, those ppl who judge you just by what they heard, don't really making friends with you using their 'heart'. So, stand straight and don't fall into their traps !!! Kekeke.. Cheers ^___^

  9. btw, i really enjoy reading you blogssss!! Thanks xD

  10. Aww..

    I hope you feel better soon okay?

  11. they'll get what they deserve eventually. =)

  12. Hihi,

    Talk is cheap. Can tell you all sorts of comforting words but just talk.

    Been following your blog for a while now. Feel you are nice (a bit crazy at times) girl.

    Live life with a clear conscience and clear all rumors with your bright smile

  13. why always complain and don't even look at your own attitude... do you think U don't even send wrong signal to other people? I bet you are the only one that should have being blame not to say other people spreading rumours...

  14. People can say all they want about ignoring gossips. In the end we have to live in this world and although it is horribly unfair, ignoring it will not make it go away, and inevitably there will be people around you who will look at you differently because of these rumours. Keep your good friends close for support during these times, its when you will find out who your true friends are!

    If it makes you feel any better, people spread rumours because they are jealous. If it wasn't important to put you down, or to make themselves superior in some way, they wouldn't bother. There would be other people around for them to do that to.

    It probably doesn't, seeing as you still have to live in the mess they have produced. Being well-known isn't worth it at times, eh? Still, keep your chin up Nicole. You're one crazy, amusing, girl I'd love to know IRL.

  15. Avid Reader29/9/07 11:48 PM

    Heys Nic, I rarely leave comments here but if it's any help, cheer up! Relationships with other people be it romantic, political or whatever are never easy. But I guess at the end of the day, years from now when you've moved on from this sadness, you can look back and say that I made the best out of that moment in time.

    Wishing you the best. :)

    Continuing writing please and never stop what you do best.

    Like someone said, as long as your conscience is clear. :D

    Rock on, Nicole!!!

  16. Hey Nic, I teach u one sentence...

    "Fuck them no time"

    These ppl got too much time in their hands.

  17. hi there,

    stumbled upon yr blog and read bout your sad entry.

    well, we cant control how they wanna use their intelligence. But we can control ours. =)

    So, fret not. Smile!

  18. cheer up...is probably all i could say since im pretty much feeling the same way at the moment T.T shall i curse them? huhu =.='

  19. i feel sorry for u, nicole. gossips r really v v bad. they say "hao shi chuan qian li" same goes to bad gossips. just ignore these stupid rumours. put tis aside n cheer up. don't let ppl who don't matter bring you down. take care~

  20. Why let others affect you? its your life, who are they to judge you?

  21. Do you guys realise that all this gossip, backstabbing, politics crap only happen among girls? Girls will be girls, as long as you have female friends this will happen. Stop complaining, live with it, just don't be one of them. Simple as that.

  22. sad to say but that is part of life and how you manage your life will play a big role in getting it out of your system.
    i guess that you being beautiful (fact), talented and basically in the cyber lime light and not forgetting the beauty peagent will make the narrow minded be jealous of you and start the scandal. live your life as you see it and try not to give two hoots on what they said as we have no control over what come out from the others (unless it has become so bad that you need to sue them for slandering)

  23. I tend to believe that there is more good than bad out there. But sadly its the mosquitos that ruin our day. Though so small, they're so freakin' irritating. That's life but I'm sure you'll pull through.

    Hope you feel better soon.

  24. Sorry to hear about your troubles. The fact is that is human nature.

    The more good looking you are the worse the gossip. The more known you become it gets even worse.

    People are by nature quite competitive even if they don't realise it. People become envious when they feel that what they do don't seem to be working as well as what you do.

    Don't let it get to you.

    Have a nice day.

  25. Your friend just find excuse to leave u. let go...
    Your slanderer will continue ...to stop it, just pay RM3/=, Lodge a Polis Report, and send a copy to him/her.... Slandering is an criminal acts...

    keep up yr good works and i will buy a chocolate...


  26. hey nic! I've been reading ur blog for quite awhile d...and i like it!
    I feel that you're not a bad person... quite likeable actually...
    as long as u know what u do is right... those spiteful gossips will not break u, no matter what...
    stay strong!

  27. We are all but human. Spite and envy, even the need for attention is not uncommon. Honestly, it's never worth the time to ponder why anyone does stuff like that... every day there'll be a new (pointless!?) excuses.

    I suppose telling you to not let it get to you is easier said than done. However, I vouch for the whole idea that how we feel is our choice.

    So what do you feel like feeling?

  28. Haloo Nicole, I'm bear-bear here. Just want to say Hi to you. I love your blog, it makes me know you better.

    Bye bye! :o)

  29. are u trying to tell us that u broke up with ur bf?

  30. Hi Nicole,

    We bring youth and innocence into this world - all natural joy to us. Unbeknown to us, what await us out there is dark and sinister. It's real and it's really dark.

    Time to put that youthful cherubic persona aside and get into serious study of...history. NOBODY, repeat, NOBODY, can withstand a persistent rumour (mostly malicious and hell bent) when it is repeated over and over again. As time passed, it can and it will be accepted as general truth - especially when there are not enough force to counteract the darkness out there. More so that you are beautiful, and it is hell bent to rob it off you, if not to destroy.

    How do we know all these? Through the history of holocaust, probably you have never heard of this word or maybe it's not relevant to any of us, but this is real history and every decent human being needs an education on this subject. You might want to get an introduction into this subject through these books - "The Diary of Anne Frank" (by a 14 year-old diarist) and "Night" by Elie Wiesel.

    Our world will never be the same again once it is tainted by the dark forces.

    Meanwhile stay strong and take positive actions (fast) while it hasn't made much headway into your head.

  31. Ah Nicole, ng hoe seong sum la...Everything is going to be all the right ga lar~ Cheers~ Or Chocolate?~ (^_^)

  32. Oh no... someone is emo-ing...

  33. Hey nicole...

    I think you blog and your entry is cool and it doesn;t insult anyone nor create a bad impression upon people..
    Don;t worry about what people say lah.. You will get used to it..

    Is like. Being a prime minister. No matter wat you do also, pure sure shoot you because u never do this and that and this. so who cares about them...

    And dun worry. Compare u and XX. You blog is way much cooler:D

  34. Hello Nicole.
    So unfortunate. Do take it easy. Bad days come and go. Same goes for people.
    By the way. Bridesmaid in Melaka this weekend? Happens to be friend of EM/Jason?

  35. I'm sorry for your friend who do not trust you, but rather trust the gossip from nowhere.

  36. Don't worry girl. Now you will know who are you true friends.
    Time to filter them out from your life those that hurt or backstab you.

    But please don't try ignore to make new friends.

  37. The truth is we can never please everyone around us.....some people are bound to get inflicted by your ever increasing popularity/success....and it's a waste of time just giving into such utter bitterness of those who envy you....look on the brighter side of things as I believe you have more reasons to smile than sulk! Cheerios!

  38. Shucks. They re probably just jealous or very envious of you. Either way it still sucks. But like the wind, it will blow away in time.

    Hang in there nic.

  39. Gossip/rumours? They are just noises. Once you succumb to it, then all is lost. Be strong.

    Eh.. Being a bridesmaid for too many times might bring bad omen?

  40. I don't know how true is this but i thought girls cannot become bridesmaid for more than 3 times, or else you will be "lou gu po"( unmarried women).

  41. You should listen to "Here to stay" by Christina Aguilera. Nicole, pay no mind to the negative kind, don't do things to please others but yourself. You know you're falling apart but don't worry, you will stand strong soon. :)

  42. marry kenny! He's so nice!

  43. i know how u feel...i have been labeled a lot of things b4 and even have those ppl i thought as my friends listen to the gossips without asking me what happened. Till today I still feel hurt at times. *hugs*

    Just tilt your head and shoulders. Remember what comes around goes around.

  44. dont worry nicole... ur strong & will get over this. I myself also telinga nipis & thius has been affecting me badly throughout my entire life (well maybe not my childhood =P) BUT in short, they will get whats coming to them. Wat goes around comes around =D

  45. rumours, gossip - foes. but be positive nicole, this isnt much help but, smile and stay on the happy side of u.

  46. It's much scarier dealing with devils disguised as 'friends'. Worry not. Truth always have the last laugh.

  47. people will always love gossip, its why the paparazzi & gossip mags make moneh :) ignore stupid remarks u know are untrue, and use sincere criticism to build yourself up. know that u are never alone cos there will always be ppl far worse off than you. love the people you know you can trust; as tempted as u are to let the rships slack, dont! cos these are the ppl u can count on.

    and dont forget too that u have more supporters (look at all the encouraging comments here!) than you have foes (a.k.a. idiots who hv nothing else better to do after dinner than to make up untrue stories of others)

    love lots!

  48. Nicole, be strong! *hugz*
    Anticipating your travel blogs =)

  49. Tinkerbell1/10/07 9:16 AM

    Hi Nicole,
    These are times when you get to really know who are your real friends. Friends come and go, better off being with few good friends than a whole bunch of useless friends.
    P/s: I heard that we cannot be bridesmaid for more than 3 times or else cannot get married in future, might be a myth but who knows.

  50. Hi Nicole,

    In my humble opinion, rumours and gossips can be either positive or negative. It all depends on its context and how it affect people (in this case, you).

    I agree with most of the comments about being positive, and staying strong.

    Have a nice day =)


  51. Hi!
    Just wanted to tell you I really do enjoy reading up your blog post and seeing your travel pics.

    In times of these, it'll be tough times but eventually your true friends will emerge. Stay strong and ignore those gossips. =)

  52. No matter what, please keep blogging, I will always support you.

  53. Hi nicole, i've been through such things also. i'm older now, so maybe i've reached a stage where i dun give a damn anymore.Like you, i tried to keep to myself, don't go out much anymore, and only keep a few friends to myself. And i read tons of books! and ya, even when i thought i've made myself "disappear" to escape gossip or whatever, rumours still abounded!!! Don't even know how and where it come from!

    i don't trust people that easily now. Anyway, keep your chin up. So long as the people around u believe who you truly are, that's enough. :) the rest can go to hell.:) believe me, nicole, what goes around comes around, and be strong!

  54. We all have lots of luggages with us. Some are ours but most belong to others. You just need to find your own amongst the others that you do not need. And when you find your own luggages, which aren't that many really, then you can tell the rest "Fuck all". It may take a while but trust me, you'll regain your self.

  55. The shit hit the fan,
    Fell into the pan,
    While frying the steak,
    I cooked for my date.

    We both had a bite,
    It didn’t taste nice.
    So we went on to bed,
    Lust hunger was fed.

    Hard as a stick,
    The girl had a d***.
    Oh f***! God damn!
    The chick was a man!

    (***-ed just in case it's not appropriate or whatever...)

    Either way, life isn't always pretty!

  56. I understand how u feel. My blog was sabotajed by a friend when i came back from Japan coz she was just too jealous of my life, which was obviously better than hers.

    Just ignore these toxic friends. They are not worth your time at all.

  57. it sucks wen ppl talk behind us no matter how mch u try to fix it ...but hey, tats life..ur not alone..dont tink too much abt it..becos de more u feel bad abt it, de evil just keep dancing its victory dance of making u losing ur stability of mind...all de best!

  58. most of us are bitches... just whether we let the bitchiness takes control of us or not.. those that have lost control... too bad..

    Nicole, you are far more better than that, you don't need those losers.. they don't deserve you in the first place. I'm sure by now, you'll know who your real friends are, if not, there's always your family whom love you the most.. :)

    Keep up the good work on your blog. love them.

    choc lovers too! ^_^

  59. Yes wai queen, because before any man will propose he will always ask the girl 'Have you been a bridesmaid more than 3 times?!!' and will definitely refrain from asking if she says yes!
    *eye roll* Please, keep your superstitions to yourself.

    Nicole, enjoying the blog. Don't give a damn, any sign it affects you gives them more ammunition or reason to believe the rumours are true.

  60. I think they are just jealous of you, thus they spread rumours, back stabbing, etc. I know it is quite hard to ignore the damage done. Just get on with your life! My piece of advice to you - Try to be a little bit more ignorant and ruthless.

  61. no-one is forcing or even inviting you to be famous. you wanna put up your life for the whole world to judge, the world will judge. wanna stop hearing ugly comments then just stop announcing what you do to the whole world.

    fake ppl have the most scandals. maybe that's how yours came about. again, you may not be fake but that's how i view you as. simply because you have this blog for me to easily label you.

    btw, staying low profile doesn't mean travelling to other countries. it means to not appear in mediums in which you can be seen easily. that can be easily done by not joining pageants and not posting your life and pics all over the internet.


    there is happy times,there is sorrow times but minus the sorrow times plus in the happy times.wat u get??

    LIFE!!so keep on going nicole...

  63. time heals all. toxic friends i have them too. just ignore them, u be immune soon. focus and dont fret over small things.

    love, angel za

  64. In all honesty, I truely understand how you feel. I was in the same position as you a few months back. I had words put into my mouth and the person was too angry to hear the truth, my reputation was down the drain but I was ignorant because I believe if one is innocent, the truth will prevail. But boy I was wrong and all those news about (getting in his pants) thing, I've got it all.So really, I've been there and it sux. So I did what any normal person would do, cry for a whole two weeks. As much as I would love to admit that I am strong, I'm just a weak soul inside.

    So i made a choice to cut all ties with a whole group of people. No matter how big their influence are in my life or how long we've been friends/at work, I don't think I want to drag myself down to try to explain myself to everyone. If they are your friends, they would bother to find out the truth. It hurts, life sux. But moving on and staying away from those people are probably the best choice I've made.

    It won't stop the rumours from going on but I've learnt to be less and less bothered with it. Travelling helps a whole lot as well and I am just sticking to the very few friends I trust. I rather have a few friends then have a whole lot that would hurt me more in my darkess times.

    So I wish you strong and hopefully in time to come, you'll have better friends! *hugs*


  65. hi Nicole, This is gracie again...well, FYI, gossips and lies comes from the mouth of devils...Theres nth we can do abt it..cus its their mouth.They wanna say whatever they want, let them be. We jz go on with our own lifes. I was in ur shoe b4, n i disconnected myself with people-self-proclaimed-as-frends...

    So, nicole! do what makes u happy! ignorance is a bliss... live life like u never live b4!!


  66. nothing's ever fair and just. but what u can do is remember that despite challenges that come ur way be it personal or not, life isn't out there to get u but to see what u can do during moments u r put to the test. it all depends on how u make the best out of situations. look at those who are supporting u now. forget the rest.