These little messages

Clouds which fogged my thoughts have been clearing up, replaced by a tiny ray of sunlight. It was like breaking free from enclosure I thought I would never survive.

Images of him slowly faded away from my mind, and I wondered what it was that kept them there for so long. It was a few tormenting weeks, months, but now that those days were over, it seems like it was just yesterday when I was myself again. Free spirited, full of life, a bright future I can’t wait to thrive towards and a today and tomorrow I can never stop looking forward to.

But these were clouded, for good and for bad reasons. I was glad once that it happened, glad that I felt lost and homeless, glad that I wanted to be belonged; and then I dreaded it, because it was not where I was meant to be, and I was more lost than ever.

Tiny words came into my life, via the virtual world, from that first glance, first touch, first tumble down the slope. It was those caring words, sweet, kind, albeit a bit flirtatious texts that slowly brought me out of my trance. And I slowly found who I was again, and became who I was again, plus a bit more.

Slowly I was looking forward to these messages, these daily little greetings, the little tease every now and then, the good nights and good mornings shared just between us. And slowly, I was recovering.

As far as temptation sets in, I drew myself away from falling in. I wanted to be free, like how I used to be, despite much gratitude to these little words for bringing me back, I knew, we knew, it was never possible. For there was distance, there was culture, there was separate lives, and these messages will always, or maybe just for now, maintained as it is, till I completely find myself. Till… one day.

Thank you for your morning greets, for the pet names, for making me believe again: believing in love, in life and in myself once more. You were the one, even if you didn’t realize you were, that made me love myself once more. Greet me sweeter as days go by, my sweet, my pumpkin, my peach and strawberry and vampire. Empty promises, forever ever after, we don’t need those, for this was enough.

Thank you my pet, my ladybug and my midnight werewolf.