Sunday, February 25, 2007

I am back

I am finally back. Sorry everyone for taking such a loooonnnnggg break. I have been under some serious meditation mode. Depression, deep thoughts, whichever you called it.

I have a confession to make, Chinese New Year was never my favorite festival of the year, in fact, it is my most hated festival in an entire year. Every year whenever this season approaches, I will, in all my power and will and stubbornness try to escape, run away, hide, avoid or disappear from celebrating this so called wonderful season.

I have tried to run to Thailand a week before the actual festivals on the 18th, but failed due to some personal conflicts with family and ‘friends’; which left me devastated and utterly speechless, my mood got worse and not even the most amazing valentines day could cheer me up.

Then I was pursued to Singapore for a hide-out, which was left only with more tragics cause instead of running away from Chinese New Year, I ended up celebrating two consecutive Chinese New Years with two separate families (my own included since I came back to Melaka on the second day of CNY, blasted).

I was so sour, I have to put on my ever so cute fake smile and started acting like I am enjoying the bloody festival.

Sure some of you say that CNY is worth looking forward to with all the ang pows (red packet with money) and gambling and good food and blah blah blah. Ok, this is where I am trying to explain. I stood my ground and I will say it again and again, no matter how many times I shall repeat. I HATE CNY. Period!

No amount of money or gambling and gatherings can make me like, wait change that to hate, CNY any less than I already do. If it’s money that I want, every year, with the amount of relatives that I have, I could have gathered more than RM1000 easily since both my parents came from big families. If it’s gambling that I’m aftering, I wouldn’t have quit gambling and made a vow to myself never to gamble again 3 years ago, which I kept to this day, for pete’s sake, I was taught how to play poker at the age of 3, and my cousin of one year older taught me how to pay mah jong (a complicated Chinese deck game) when I was 5.

And food, don’t get me started, I’m on a diet ok?!

Ok, so there’s nothing in CNY that I would enjoy and like about; but why do I hate the festival so damn much? I don’t know?! It’s just one of those festivals that you hate, like how some dislike Halloween to hating Christmas, it’s the same concept. Ok, so I might have a reason to it. But I am not going to tell you that. >p


So on the 19th, I had to endure a 6-hour non stop WWF program abuse on the bus from Singapore, I reached Melaka with a huge migraine and a heavy heart. The night continued with a remarkable smaller reunion dinner of 32, many of whom to my gladness, were not able to attend that night.

Then the rest of the days of CNY, I spent it in the most unlikely way, attending a reunion gathering with all my high school friends. o.O Shocking~~~~

I know, after my deep true confession some entries ago, this would probably be the last of the few things I would even consider to resort to. But I ran out of option. Which is worse? High school nightmares that you have never met for the past 6 years or horror movies that you meet every freaking year? I opt for the former.

It was an unusual gathering, none to my surprise; all of them commented that I have changed drastically. Who could blame them, 6 years can change anyone. But many of them to my surprise rather, did not change much appearance wise. Education wise? Expected… I came from a geek school, graduated from one of the top classes in school, I was seated with a bunch of postgraduates, PHD graduates, doctors to be…etc. Man, it’s annoying how my Master in Communication looks inferior.

But one good thing about higher education, it has surely shaped people from monstrous into polite creatures. No more teasers or name callers, people who compare and look down on you, it was a decent sweet little gathering. It could be just me, but I still felt a bit of a left out, though way much better compare to how it was back then. I seemed to be able to chat with most of the guys anyway; I always have troubles chatting up with the females, bet this isn’t your first time hearing this.


And so I lost my voice over CNY. Reason? Drinking and many many many late nights. A solution I found to cure my hatred for CNY and a wonderful cure it is. For the first time, I actually did enjoy CNY, with my friends, not so close friends and people I don’t really know. You could say I’m drinking my sorrow away, so be it, it was good experience, I’m not much of a drinker, but it was fun.

I also did something different finally, I decided to break my vow this year, and gamble. Being the banker of an 8 people group poker game and half a bottle of vodka later (I didn’t drink due to sore throat), I won RM125 in 2 hours time; easiest money ever made. To which I treated myself a new pair of tracks the other day during shopping.


Just got back from KL today, had eye check ups yesterday at Vista, and guess what? I have achieved 0 Power!!! Perfect vision 20/20. Ho ho, now I can see those cute hunks from across the beach. Time for an island escape. :D Guess this year didn’t turn out half as bad as I thought it would be; and I’m sure it will be even better.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

hell with ya

Why am I surrounded by people who are either, boring, love to stay at home, or just plain dun like to party.

It's not that I am complaining, I love having homey friends. But when you feel like going out, on a travel, or a night's out, you just can't seem to find anyone to go with you.

People seem to age as they grow older, I mean mentally. Is it a must that we become boring as well with age? I am still young for heaven's sake, even when I hit 30, I don't want to act like an old dirtbag that stays at home and watches drama series. I like to lead a healthy lifestyle, not stay at home all the time, nor being a nocturnal internet freak every day, nor eat junk and rubbish food all the time. Exercise, wake up early, head out of the house early (I am not a college student anymore! by the time they wake up and go out, it'll be evening), enjoy a cosy movie at night then head to bed.

I like to go out, have a great time, it doesn't have to be shopping or partying, as long it's not the usual 'yumcha' late night type of outings I'm talking about. An afternoon walk in the city, chat, hang out; enjoy a simple and light lunch.

Life is short, why waste it away like shit? It's annoying. If I am born a guy, I wouldn't have given a damn care if I was out in the city all alone wandering aimlessly, or be in another country in an instant whenever I decide to. But god's being totally fair to provide me with two loving parents that cares too much, friends that are too innocent and people around that are god damn protective. So here I am, blogging the shit out of me in the 'discomfort' of a house *cough* jail *cough*

PS// I hate CNY.

Thursday, February 15, 2007


**** Depression mode ****

*unfit to blog, currently reside in Singapore*


Saturday, February 10, 2007

Wiser by An Inch

It’s not cool to pull pranks on others.

Ever had a friend who like to hide in a blind spot, waiting quietly and stationary; the moment you turned the corner, just his/her existence freaks the soul out of you? Or someone who sends fake alerting text that states they were in danger and get you to call a certain XxX number, only to be greeted with recorded porno moans?

photo courtesy of Hung (in the middle), who has his room stuffed with balls of newspapers

interior of the room, wonder how long they used to crunch those papers

Or what about a reverse prank. You tried to pull a prank only to be fooled into your victim's pranks. Now that sucks. But he deserves it anyway for pulling the prank in the first place.

Some pranks are more annoying than others. Like faking heart attack, or a stroke; victims with a weak heart could really end up with a real heart problem.

It’s also not cool to pull practical jokes on your parents. So maybe it’s funny when you throw fake snakes or lizards at them to scare the daylights out of them.


Despite their age, they tend to believe everything you said (after all, you are their kids), hence twice the fright and you don’t want those bloods flushing through their heads and weak hearts. If these were not the case, you still won’t want to do that to them, cause they will be the only light you’ll see when the fear surpasses.

devil mom
enraged mom

You either believe what I said and be one step wiser now, or… do what I do, learned my lesson the hard way.


It was the day of my lasik surgery. I was growing extremely impatient and restless after the long hours of waiting. I was yearning for some excitement, butt itching and maybe a fair bit of annoyance. How would you feel if I were to put you waiting in front of the surgery room for hours, knowing you would be next? I need something to keep me entertained, if not, it’s only minutes before I lose it and budge into the doctor’s office and f#@$ him upside down.

So I chose the first person that came in mind – my mom, who was happily shopping in 1 Utama Shopping Complex with my aunt (~>_<~ so not fair!) and oblivious of the long delay I have to endure.

I took my phone, selected “Mom” in contact list and called.... it got through.

In my most weak and mumble-y voice, the conversation goes like this,

Me: Hello… Mom…
Mom: Hello? Qi a? (she calls me ‘Qi’) Surgery finish already a?
Me: Mom… my left eye is blind… (very soft and weak)
Mom: Hello? What you say? Louder.
Me: Mom…. My left eye is blind… (louder a tad bit)
Mom: Hello? I can’t hear you? You have to speak louder, it’s very noisy here.
Me: … the surgery went wrong, my left eye is blind now…
Mom: WHAT!! (trembling voice) OK!! OK!! WAIT FOR ME!! I COMING NOW!!
*Hang Up*

Oh O~~~ *gulps*

Call back…

Me: Mom..
Me: Haha! Mom! I was just joking!!
Mom: ….. (silence at first)
Me: (waiting anxiously for response)
Mom: XXXXXXXX !!!!!!! (conversation content will be censored from here onwards)

Imagine a volcano erupted with smoke and ashes everywhere, thunder storms above my head and an F1 race car charged at me at 300km/hr.

Suddenly I wished the surgery did really go wrong and blood is streaming from my eyes.


Lesson of the year: Don’t f@#$ with your mom.

Friday, February 09, 2007

So I'm crazy, sue me - part 2

Ok.. fine… I admit it…

Shortly after I typed “to be continued…” on my previous entry, I immediately went and switched on my phone. All those missing few days before I blog to make it look like I was really isolating myself, or write to make it look like I am cool without a phone crap? Are craps!

Truth is, I can’t take it… Oh my god… how can anyone survive without a phone? Do you know what kind of situation I am in right now? I am staying in my room practically 23 hours a day, given one hour to eat, shower, pee and shit outside my room; sometimes I even skip the shower part (wait, you’re not suppose to know that, what~~?!! I am staying in an aircond room k?).

My phone.. is like.. my sole communication tool to talk to the real world, as in real people, real voices. Not just I type, enter; you type, enter, those non real time shit. One more minute in that state, I would have become a vege.

No, I’m serious. No joke. Just watch this video, see how f@#$ing lame and boring it is. Take away my phone, and you will suffer more videos like this in the future. Muahahaha….


Two days ago, I awoke to the sound of gate rattling. It was like, 6pm? I went to the front door and was stuffed in the face by a bouquet of roses.


It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me in a long time (by long, I would say.. 2 months?). This is my first bouquet of flowers in the year 2007!! Sorry Kenny, I’m going to Singapore to celebrate my valentines… & cny. You can take care of Kenic at our cyber home. :D

Awe~~~, Kenny, I bet you kill a lot of girls with this :p

YOY??? Who the hell is YOY??!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

So I'm crazy, sue me

Sometimes in order to get something out of your system when one has too much to think and has run out of reason to be saint, one will go to the extreme to be isolated.

No, I am not going to run away to another country, that isn’t necessary.

In this world, it’s easy. Very easy to feel that way. Too easy in fact.

Can you guess? Come on, try to guess it. It’s too easy.



Just switch off your phone and internet line.


No one will be able to get you. No one will even try. Sure… I have friends who know where I stay; sure… they can find me at my house. But will they?

We are so used to having technological communication around with us; we took for granted how communication has evolved to make it too easy for us and underestimated the pervasiveness of these devices in our lives.

To an extend that we would call before we go to a place, call before we meet up, call to make sure if a date is still on. And if the call is not reached, we just assume they’re not there. Longer than a few hours/days, we will try to go online and look for that person, and if he/she is not there. We just wait…. Till they appear. Lame isn’t it? How retarded human have set themselves to be now. Well, at least in this part of the technophile world.

5th February 8pm, I decided to put myself to the test. I switched off my phone, and set my MSN and Yahoo to offline mode.

Following are the records of my schedule onwards,

11pm: Keep wondering if anyone has called? sms?

e360 side
This is my phone

6th February

1:15am: Look at my phone, flip open, almost tempted to switch it on and off just to see if anyone text me. But manage to refrain myself from it
1:22am: Decide to browse the internet, trying not to talk to anyone
1:24am: Shove my mobile phone under the bed, you can’t miss what you can’t see
1:31am: Looking blankly at word document as I type this shit out, thinking how long I can last~

3:25am: Sign off from MSN and Yahoo, so I don’t get messages from people telling me I am blocking them instead of appearing offline

I try not to lie so I signed off. Appearing offline is sort of a lie telling everyone you are not there when actually you are right? Don’t you just hate liars? I dislike liars too. Especially people who ‘put airplane’ (Chinese translation of bailing out, say, from a vacation trip 5 days prior to departure after god knows how many blank promises, that sort of disappointment is enough to send you into depression), yup, that is a form of lie too. Wait, I’m getting out of topic here.

3:50am: Turn on Astro to watch some movies. Did you know they play really cool movies in the night?
5:32am: Got tired of lame old movies, decide to head to bed early today


6:15am: Couldn’t sleep, wake up and walk to kitchen for milk
6:30am: Watch Animal Planet with dad in the living room
6:40am: Make soup with microwave for breakfast
7:05am: Wear my jumper, grab ipod, goes out for a jog in the forest

Melaka Morning
morning view from my house front yard

8:29am: Reach home, realize how beautiful the forest looks early in the morning again
9:00am: Fill bathtub with hot water, take bubble bath

Bring ipod to bathroom and set up incense in the bedroom.

10:50am: 15 minutes of facial, 30 minutes of blow drying & straightening hair (out of the blue) later, it’s time for bed.

5:22pm: Wake up, had a lot of nightmares, wasn’t a pleasant sleep, huge urge to open phone
6:45pm: Take light dinner, sleep again
9:20pm: Wake up, I think I am entering depression

10:08pm: Should be studying, but my eyes are getting blur for looking at the screen too long; waiting blankly, mind empty, more than 24 hours have passed, when should I stop? I didn’t really set a time limit, did I? Now that’s one idiotic thing to do. Should I switch it on now? So to stop my agony? I feel like a walking zombie already… didn’t talk to anyone, maybe only a few words every now and then, but not in actual voice, didn’t even talk to my mom (she would think I’m crazy).

To be continued…

Monday, February 05, 2007

Life in the World Wide Web

Today Kenny and I suddenly decided to flood a person blog’s chatbox (Nothing evil-ish, the chatbox was pratically empty most of the time.)

This is how the conversation goes, he signed in,

Jackass: hee haw!

Then I appear, signing in as,

Jackass_lao po: yo

Jackass: whassup?
Jackass: what should we do on valentine's?
Jackass_lao po: erm..... cyber date
Jackass: then i'll get you a cyber box of chocolates
Jackass: and we have cyber dinner
Jackass: afterwards, we go catch a cyber movie
Jackass: and you can have some cyber roses
Jackass_lao po: then i can give you cyber kiss
Jackass_lao po: cyber XX
Jackass_lao po: and maybe buy for some cyber presents too
Jackass: i'd love some cyber xx!
Jackass: making me think of cyber XXX
Jackass_lao po: what is cyber xx and xxx?
Jackass_lao po: or maybe u rather XXXX
Jackass_lao po: i want to have kids
Jackass_lao po: cyber kids
Jackass: not that easy my lau po
Jackass: that one have to cyber xxx
Jackass: then wait for cyber 9 months
Jackass: have you send you to cyber hospital
Jackass: see a cyber doctor
Jackass: then if you cannot push, you are gonna have to go for cyber c-section
Jackass: only then can you have a cyber baby
Jackass_lao po: o.. then let's have cyber xxx now.. then can register for cyber nationality and buy cyber baby clothes
Jackass: oh crap. i forgot to have cyber lubricant
Jackass: must go buy at cyber 7-11
Jackass_lao po: we shall create a home in the cyber world for our cyber family..
Jackass_lao po: no need lubricant, i create cyber juice.. just a bit of programming
Jackass: hahaa!
Jackass: let's start a cyber family my dear
Jackass: then we can buy a cyber house
Jackass: and go live in CYBER JAYA!
Jackass_lao po: -.-
Jackass_lao po: since when suddenly become real life?
Jackass: cyber jaya is cyber also leh
Jackass: cyber lao po also can cyber tulan one -.-
Jackass_lao po: .....................

Then I decided to change my nick,

Jackass_no more lao po: what do you think
Jackass: your cyber groans complimenting mine.
Jackass: it was a cyber cloud-nine session.
Jackass: we were like a pair that fits like a cyber glove

Running of XXX vocabulary, I went and quote this guy’s blog content to use as my own, only adding in ‘cyber’,

Jackass_no more lao po: We engaged in incredibly ridiculous cyber positions yet the satisfaction and pleasure we got were second to none.
Jackass_no more lao po: Your cyber body was ready to explode, but you continued to hold on - holding on to the reservoir of cyber cum.
Jackass: wtf. cyber cum!
Jackass: my cyber body exploded.
Jackass_no more lao po: HA HA
Jackass: no more already!
Jackass: cyber die liaw!

Logging out of the chatbox,
we decided to move the conversation onto MSN…

Nicole: kenny... when is our cyber baby coming out?
Kenny: !
Kenny: we din cyber xxx
Kenny: so no cyber baby
Nicole: no meh? i thought already got cyber cum
Nicole: haha
Kenny: ya
Kenny: but cyber exploded
Kenny: hahaa
Nicole: o my... then i will be cyber single mom
Kenny: haha
Kenny: this whole thing is so stupidly funny
Kenny: hahahaha
Nicole: go to sleep.. remember to dream abt our little cyber KENIC
Kenny: !
Kenny: *sigh*
Kenny: gotta wake up and change KENIC's cyber diapers
Kenny: hahaaa
Kenny: even the name sounds so cyber
Kenny: kenic
Nicole: so cute...
Kenny: nite lao po
Kenny: thanks for the entertainment.
Nicole: u forgot to kiss kenic
Kenny: eh?
Kenny: *muah*
Nicole: ouch.. he just cyber kick me
Kenny: wah! sounds so powerful
Kenny: kenic must be running on pentium
Nicole: lol
Nicole: centrino...
Kenny: got wifi
Kenny: i wonder when he will grow his first bluetooth
Nicole: hahahahahaha
Kenny: :p
Kenny: g'nite dear
Kenny: catchya tmw
Nicole: can i blog abt this?
Kenny: can
Kenny: go ahead

I am cyber 3 months pregnant.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

It's a Date!!

Alas, one week came and went.

So swift is the time, 7 days in 7 short blinks.

4 more hours to sunrise;
6 more hours to departure;
and 9 more hours to my lovely and exciting date with Dr Choong.

I hope my eyes looks lovely.
I hope he doesn't notice the blood clot around my pupils.
I hope he loves me enough to tell me I have achieved vision 6/4.5

Ah, how my heart beats in anxiety as the second ticks; as the time drew nearer to my reunion with him.

What clothes should I wear? Should I apply a sweet scent to my neck so he will be delusioned enough to focus elsewhere than my striking eyes?

Oh, how wonderful it is to thy second acquaintance. Another sleepless night.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Life after Lasik

Ever wondered how I look like after surgery?

Wonder no more! I am broadcasting my first after-lasik-surgery appearance here! Also as the final episode of my pillow talk. :D

Why? Well, cause I thought that some people wanna know how does it look like after the myopia surgery. What? O… you mean why is it the last episode?

Erm.. well.. haha.. I got lazy (don’t hit me :p), but partly also due to the fact that I do not wish to attract unnecessary attentions that has been stirring up in youtube. People people, cut me some slacks, I’m just a blogger. LOL.

It’s quite a long recording compare to the previous, but it saved me the effort of typing. *laugh*

PS// I am wearing a top (from MNG if you wanna know)