Today is the day I start looking at things differently, it is the day where every person has to face their most feared.
It is the day my mom is admitted to the hospital.
It was early morning at 7am and I didn't really get any sleep all night except for occasional naps while rushing my assignment. After finishing, I went to my parents' bedroom to see if they're awake and found my mom lying on the sofa. She was breathing difficultly.
She asked me to take her to the hospital at 10am this morning. Something was obviously not right but something in my mind screamed this was different.
I have grown up seeing two healthy parents raising me and my elder brother under the comfort of an average home. We grew up in a bungalow slightly at the border of the town of Melaka with large front and back yards. Poverty was never anything near to how I was raised and fed, but neither are we rich or wealthy. I could say I have always been to expose to a very healthy and normal and average family.
taken year 2003 - me, mom and dad
And with that, I have taken these blessings for granted since the day I was born.
I have always notice something that is slightly different between my family and the others. You see, being 22 years old, my parents are both nearing their 60's. Back in their days, getting married after 30 years old is very very late marriage, and giving birth after 33 were hardly encouraged and practised. I was born when my parents are 36, I am considered an OLD birth child.
Having parents who are entering their 60's when you just turned adult at 21 has some drawbacks. You experienced parents' menopause period earlier than anyone else, and being a teen (below 20 are teens), it is difficult for me to understand the changes that my parents are going through. Mood swings, change in behaviours, attitude, thoughts... everything came crashing down at my face; and it is very hard for me to accept these occurrance especially when these people are my parents, whom I usually perceive as mature, responsible and will never make a single fault.
With age, comes lots of sickness. High blood pressure, joints problem, diabetes, symptoms of possible heart attacks and stroke. A lot. And you will start to worry about their health, about family financial problem, about their future. You will in your every power try to be financial independent in the fastest possible way within the shortest period of time, so you could make them less worry, let them travel the world before they are incapable to travel, support them so they can retire early. Which explains why I finish degree at 20.
But I guess, I have always been naive in way, that more often that not, I always tend to ignore the fact that one of 'these days' will come hit you straight in the face. That one day, any day, your parents are going to get really sick, and the danger of extreme changes will occur in your life.
While waiting for my mom to undergo some check ups and tests, I dozed off on the seat in front of the doctor's office. I was extremely tired after a long night.
Moments later, the nurse came out and asked me to enter. Sitting there waiting for the doctor to finish with the check-ups, a thousand things ran through my mind. Tons of premonition hits my mind and I panicked on the spot. What could be the problem so serious that the nurse have to call me in?
// This section of the blog has been restracted for confidentiality. //
The rest of the day was a blur to me, I spent most of the time accompanying my mom as she was admitted to the ward. I remember getting back around 2-3pm and collapse on my bed. I remember waking up at 7pm for dinner and went out to buy some food and drinks to visit her again, while bringing a sweater and some papers to read.
Tonight, is going to be very long night, as I pray deeply that everything will be fine.