I don't feel like writing about travels today

*Purely just blabbing*
*update, view bottom*


I am emo, on something I am not sure of.

Tonight I went to drink at the bar alone, crowds were wild and people were dancing, it's a Saturday night. I was alone, with my bottle of beer which I sipped only too slowly, the singers were good, they were hyper, then they were emo, and hyper again.

And my mood lifted and dropped as they please.

Glances were thrown my way more than several times, guys pushing each other to usher their way towards my direction, I ignored them, and continue to sip on my beer.

Ugh, why is this beer so horrible. Why do people like to drink beer anyway? Maybe it's getting warm, that's why. But still all alcoholic drinks are horrible. It's only a liquid to get intoxicated. I asked for a breezer, they didn't have it. It was either beer, or liquor. I chose beer, only because it's cheaper.

I didn't feel like doing anything, the music wasn't doing any good to me. But I listened on, hoping it would somehow lift me up. I looked at my phone, several times an hour at least, it's already 1am, I doubt anyone will be messaging me at this hour, but I needed an echo, a voice to get me out of my trance.

Being emotional is difficult when you have no idea what you are emotional about. Some say love and relationship are always the source to these emotions, I couldn't relate, but I want to be depressed, to feel somewhat emotional about something negative so I can sulk over, however I am not depress. I am neither sad nor happy, failed nor achieved; empty nor fulfilled. I'm just in between. Which is the depressing part.

Friends are probably partying up in Penang Music Festival that I am clearly absent from at this hour. The other bunch are probably halfway in their dreamland by now. I started to feel sleepy, thus, with a last struggle, I swallowed the remaining of my beer and left, giving up wondering why I was feeling this way till I reach home.

I am still emo.


*I think I just realised the reason behind my emo-ness, today is my first day of period, the *toot* *

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38 kissed Nicole

  1. yeah I feel the same sometimes too.

    -Qiang-

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  3. it's okie to be emo sometimes...^^
    cheers..
    -ling-

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  4. hope u bought the "no fake tits shirt". luv IT.

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  5. i always have this feeling.. it tends to be a monthly occasion on me.. makes me kinda freaked out.. why monthly? sounds like the girl monthly thingy, u know... :S

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  6. todayiamme4/5/08 9:28 AM

    i'm feeling exactly like that too right now...no idea why either. but trust me, after blogging about it you'll feel better. i usually do. for a while.

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  7. don't be emotional nicole. just think of how lucky you are compared to the unfortunate ones and be happy with what you have.

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  8. don't be emotional nicole. just think of how lucky you are compared to the unfortunate ones and be happy with what you have.

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  9. That is the danger u will face if u r living in cyberworld too long... U will feel lost and detached in the real world... i believe this is a transcient period... u will be fine soon...

    I believe u r asking yrself these questions... "want/dun want"... "accept/dun accept"... ---> love...

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  10. hi nicole,

    i think you should take thing at a slower pace sometimes... by reading your blog, ur taking things in a lightning speed... i know we have 1001 things to accomplished eg. traveling non stop, and so many happenings at one go... one should sit and ponder... i called it the "alone time"..

    cheers.

    zeek.

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  11. hey Nicole
    This is life it has ups and downs but never get disappointed. i know its hard when you get that feeling coz even i get it sometimes.
    Always try to talk to someone, someone who will listen to you. by that way you can cool down.

    don't worry be cool everyday is not the same ;)

    if you don't have anyone to talk u can talk to me i am online most of the time (almost) and since we have a 2.30 hour time diff think i will be online even during late nights for you.

    nafi.

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  12. Seriously, what do u mean by emo? I know it means emotional, but I dont get u from the contextes. U did say something about the singers being hyper and emo....i thought that contradicts a bit way too much. Just by their looks?

    At times, R U sure of what U R writing? If not, ok, blame it on ...being EMO then...lol.

    observer

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  13. Hie Nicole,

    Don't emoe la.. be cheerful as you alwasy like .

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  14. as realgunner says, sometimes this emotional swing could be due to our monthly hormonal changes.

    Sometimes I do believe a part of us feels this emptiness when we are unable to find something our heart is looking for .... and we can feel lonely even though we are not alone.

    As zeekco says, perhaps it would help to slow down a bit and look inside yourself to see what that could be. Take care.

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  15. So funny. You just need a boyfriend,that's all.

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  16. You don't need a bf...All you need is one big orgasm and you will be back to normal! I guess Dino is not doing his job...

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  17. picksickrick4/5/08 3:15 PM

    aiyoo....easy...what's ur phone number? i'll reply to your everymessage.. =P

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  18. U know what's a sure cure?

    Pick a your phone and call someone.

    Trust me, works every time!

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  19. maybe it;s ur lifestyle. travelling and partying too much, taking pictures and blogging,using up money money money and not making any?
    no actual work. just blogging....

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  20. does monthly hormonal change occurs with dudes too??? me not lady leh... :S

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  21. cheer up cheer up cheer up~~~~~
    beer up beer up beer up~~~~

    but pls dont drink in pub ALONE. especially pretty lady like u. too much bad ppl out there.

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  22. aiyo why din u call me if u were feeling emo!

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  23. hi...i enjoyed readin thru ur blog. so envy wif u..btw juz found out a massive cyclone happened at burma killin many ppl. hope u safe n sound there...take care!

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  24. Did you consider PMS dear ?

    And alcohol doesn't help, it's a very good excuse to have tons of dessert.

    Well, I'm a huge emo myself.
    But
    Hope to read those familiar cheerful lines from you soon :D

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  25. Come visit and try some proper beer.

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  26. Come I have a bottle or Hoegaarden Beer.

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  28. Could be just the after-effects of travelling after so long. Or maybe it's just PMS.

    When you're feeling down, you should go for some exercise instead! After you're done with an intense workout, you'll feel much better and sleep better too. =)

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  29. It's good to know that I'm understanding you right, Nicole ;)

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  30. Hi,
    I guess you need to take time out and be with your parents, I am sure they need you more than you need them.
    In a way, a way to relax and let time just flies. When you are ready, you will know.
    Cheer Up

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  31. just have more sex and you should do fine......!

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  32. lol im always emo the day b4 my period.

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  33. all u need is some frenz and good company that's all ;)

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  34. windwalker6/5/08 12:13 AM

    Relax...

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  35. "Being emotional is difficult when you have no idea what you are emotional about."

    The worst part is..... I don't have period that comes after that....

    *toot*

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  36. Well. I dun think you travel alone. Even a 60yr grandma get raped while sleeping in her own house. You with your blonde hair (trashy look)travel safely so far? hahaha...

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  37. Are you still in Bangkok or in other corner in the world?

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  38. Mc D is my Fav thing too. we have so much in common :)/<<<<;)

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