Dear Ex

Dear Ex,

How have you been? It's been a long time since we last spoke. I can't remember the place and time we crossed eyes, the exact details were vague. Perhaps the sense of nostalgia that encapsulated me in your presence blurred the details.

Remember you told me I'd be fine when we ended? You lied.
Or so I thought for the first five years.

Life has been good to me of late. It has not been kind all the while, but I got by. Time and space heal. And tragedies became nightmares with time, hardships moulded me, I'm not the same person I once was when you last knew me.

Do I miss you? Yes and no. I thought less and less of you with each passing year. For a long time I never believed it was possible, but it happened. Each grand event that occurred in my life with your absence melted the pain away, gradually, but eventually.

Am I happy with who I have become over the years? Did coming out of hardships made me a better person? I'm not sure. I miss the youth and innocence I once had with you, loving with an intense ferocity, carelessness, and naivety was bliss I could never possess again. But it wasn't you who caused that, no. If not by you, then by someone else surely. Life has a way to teach you to grow up regardless of time and place and people; it can happen when you are 20, 40, or 80. So don't worry, I don't blame you, not anymore.

The good times will stay with me. It'll always be a token in my heart, like a love letter in a box I kept underneath the bed which I would stumbled across on an uneventful day. Something for me to reminisce once in a blue moon, a reminder that I was once deeply loved and loved deeply.

I won't thank you for the love we once had. Just as I won't hate you for the pain you've caused. I am, however, grateful that it has happened. Some people never for once experience the kind of fearless, irrational, unconditional, wrenching love in their life; for that I will always treasure.

I don't need to know how you are, what you have done lately, or if you are well. I hope you are well, for your sake if nothing else. And if life has been difficult, I send my blessings. Nothing more.

Goodbye for now. I'll see you again, perhaps in my next stumble on the box underneath the bed.

Just A Stranger


0 kissed Nicole