Dream of a Photographer

Sometimes when I'm stressed, I thought about my dream job to be a travel photographer.

Of course I thought about a lot of other things too. Like being a jeweler, for one, or being a PR for fancy parties, so that I could dress in glamorous dresses every night, meeting glamorous people.

But that's just how it appeared in my mind, which is, by no doubt, far from truth. Think about all the difficult people I need to handle, with my straightforwardness, I'll be fired in a second the moment I sound a rude client.

I need to change that.


Life's been a little tough lately. And it gets a little tougher, by day, by night.

I have resort to sleeping pills these few days, and nights, and have refused to switch on my phone most of the time. This is the first time I got online since three days ago.

It just feels hard, everything feels hard, even breathing feels hard.

Been living on books, leaping from one story to another tale. It's the only way I can allow myself a little bit of denial, a little bit of space to breath.

Nothing seems right when I wake, or sleep. Dreams, that haunt me.

Feeling too tired to go on, too tired to stay, too hard to leave, too painful to decide.


If only...